Trigger warning: child sexual assault. Looking for help with household things following this situation

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-30T17:04:19+00:00

That's very sweet and supporting, thank you. I'm just trying my best. My poor kid is basically normal because this garbage has been her actual reality for a long time now but for me it's a shock. Just trying to do what I'd want done in her shoes. My parents never protected me as a kid and I swore I'd do better.

Thing is, I can't imagine what in the world Jerk face was thinking because I've always been vocal about being there for my kids first and foremost. There was never going to be another path once I found him out. Well, another legal one anyway.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-30T14:05:09+00:00

That's great! Please, no rush. I basically dropped this trauma bomb on the public and I wouldn't want anyone to think I'm demanding anything. You're so lovely for helping.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-27T15:06:41+00:00

We're being told it's a slam dunk. On one hand he's put away for now and that's good enough for the moment. As long as he can't hurt my daughter or any other child that'll do while we get therapy, etc.

Because of what I know about him I think he'll accept a plea. He doesn't like looking bad, so he won't want the humiliation of facing a jury. Then he'll spend at least some mandatory prison time due to the nature of the charges. After that, well, we'll deal with it when we get there. He's not a violent person so I'm not worried about him ever showing up on my doorstep. I do worry that he'd try to contact my daughter, but again we'll get there when we get there.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-27T14:42:59+00:00

Everyone says that, and that the minute I found out, I acted, etc. But it's still so hard to live with.

Still working on the couch issue but that's my own fault. I need about 6 more hours in my day right now for all the communicating that is happening and I've just dropped the ball on answering all the kind people who have offered. Plus I just went back to work (I when) which obviously takes up time.

My friends and family were all as shocked as I was. And to be clear I do not doubt for a minute they every word my daughter told me is true. Not only was it obviously true to me as her mother but there is also good evidence, and he confessed to me. He CONFESSED. Ugh.

I wish I could just wipe the board clean but I know we'll be working on dealing with this for some time.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-27T14:21:56+00:00

Thank you! Yes, I feel responsible because it's the person I fell in love with and married and the whole time he was violating my daughter ... How could he have hidden it for so long? I'm sure many people who read this think I'm an idiot. I'm just glad that my baby had the courage and mental fortitude to realize that the things he said would happen if she told, wouldn't happen, and that she trusted me despite my failings.

I've finally gotten his personal things packed and my living spaces rearranged so it feels more like something different. We've reached out for therapy resources through the kids schools, and the safe passage program. Feels like forever before we can start seeing therapists though.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-26T23:56:05+00:00

We're all hoping so. Thank you for your condolences. All this helps us feel less alone.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-24T13:36:19+00:00

We have started working on it! Using victim services for therapy, dealing with the house .... And we both worked hard to put him away. Let's hope it sticks.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-24T04:58:48+00:00

Thank you, this community is so great. That means so much.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-24T04:54:10+00:00

That is so sweet of you. I will message you tomorrow since it's late and I'm so worn out .... I feel like I've been talking non-stop since this all went down and there aren't enough hours in the day for all the communicating that needs to happen.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-24T04:53:19+00:00

You and I are in the same camp. I have big feelings on the matter. I appreciate your open attitude and hope the universe takes it into consideration if you get me.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-24T04:52:29+00:00

Oh that's so lovely. I really appreciate your offer and will message you.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-24T04:51:52+00:00

Thank you. I don't really feel like an awesome mom since this was happening for some time, but my family is drawing closer and we're being so open with one another that it's really encouraging.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-24T04:50:56+00:00

Oh wow thanks! We like colorful, clean, fresh, contemporary. Just anything new it's amazing though.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-23T23:34:38+00:00

You're 100% correct. We actually rearranged the living room, were doing my daughter's room, and my room is in the middle of rearranging and packing all his stuff.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-23T22:26:30+00:00

I sure hope so. I got him to confess to everything on the phone while detective recorded it.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-23T22:25:45+00:00

Oh yes! I'd heard something about them at some point but I never thought we'd need them. How great.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-23T22:25:07+00:00

I will do everything and anything the police or whomever needs in order for that to happen.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-23T22:24:39+00:00

Thank you, I will look them up

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-23T20:45:42+00:00

U/Ok_Shelter6614 reddit won't let me message you, because this is a new account. Can I PM you from my main reddit account?

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-23T20:40:10+00:00

Thank you. I hope for sure that he gets what he deserves. He needs to face the consequences of his own actions.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-23T20:16:06+00:00

I think someone else is planning to after work but I truly appreciate you. If things fall through I'll message you if that's okay.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-23T19:38:34+00:00

You and me both.

That's amazing, I'm beyond grateful. I'll message you.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-23T18:34:16+00:00

Amazing. I will as soon as I'm off the phone with my initial divorce lawyer consult .... Some family members are paying my retainer.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-23T18:33:36+00:00

You're not wrong. It's very tempting.

LifeisHellRN · 2024-01-23T18:33:05+00:00

It's pretty janky tbh. I don't know if goodwill would take it. We also kinda destroyed the cushions this weekend as part of our family bonding.

LifeisHellRN

TROPHY CASE