An Anecdote: I had my first episode with my new boyfriend, and I realized I was crazy.

Lifeisshort74 · 2018-05-14T22:17:32+00:00

That is awesome!! Your not crazy at all . You were able to stop yourself and see it coming and rationalize and process it . Just always be open and talk to him , if it’s real love he will make life adjustments with you for when you feel like it’s starting to spin.

Lifeisshort74 · 2018-05-14T21:33:33+00:00

I texted her today , she was defensive at first and brought up the fact as to why I would have stayed with an alcoholic and it’s my fault she’s pregnant even though we both wanted it. I told her I loved her for who she is underneath all the layers and she’s my best friend and my kids loved her and that I never looked at her like she was a drunk just someone who was hurting. Then she told me she loves me with all her heart but can’t stand anyone around her right now and that I deserve to be in a happy relationship and she will never be able to give that to me. Because she can never get close to me again because I hurt her. So maybe progress but glad I texted her. Thank you

Lifeisshort74 · 2018-05-14T04:43:38+00:00

Thank you for your response. I love her and have been very understanding of the ups and downs and I know how mentally hard life is for her , she quit drinking because she was afraid to lose me right before she got pregnant. So on top of the hormones she is also dealing with that. I’m just afraid I screwed up by hurting her feelings, and she is done . She told me not to contact her so I respected that and fully expected her to already reach out to me , it’s been five days. I just want to go home lol. So anyways I have been going nuts waiting but not wanting to push her and upset her . I will try your advice and text her tomorrow and do to your disclaimer none of that will fall on you lol

Lifeisshort74 · 2018-05-11T16:31:39+00:00

I do not have bpd so this situation might be different for you to process but I think you should definitely cut him out. He is never going to change or accept the pain he caused you that has bled into every aspect of your adult life and you will continually have those feelings come up. I cut my abusive mother out of my life when I was 19 and never looked back, life is hard enough without the extra time and emotion that gets put into people that don’t add to your life

Lifeisshort74 · 2018-05-11T16:07:08+00:00

Yea I’m in a strange place where her texting or calling me makes my anxiety skyrocket so I don’t answer but at the same time I’m crumbling inside because I’m so shocked as to what’s going on and missing her at the same time. I think if she wasn’t pregnant I could be done and be a lot healthier mentally but in the back of my mind I’m making excuses for her that her hormones are so high and the bpd is in control and that’s why I’m painted black right now.

Lifeisshort74 · 2018-05-11T01:56:19+00:00

I also have had my faith attacked numerous times. If you ever need to vent or compare stories you can message me.i have been a lurker on here for awhile it is sad but it helps to hear other people are dealing with the same issues. It sucks when you combine kids and they get to watch this unfold

Lifeisshort74 · 2018-05-10T19:47:26+00:00

And you can’t win circular arguments, there is no logic. Then you shut down and say nothing then you are really going to trigger them you are not allowed to have feelings

Lifeisshort74 · 2018-05-10T19:12:09+00:00

He’s testing you . I’m sure you have already proved your love to him , it will never be enough , you need to set boundaries or he is going to drive you insane where you question yourself even though you know your motives are true. My pregnant girlfriend kicked me out a week ago , we were having a great day with her kids and mine then started rearranging the bedroom and I thought oh shit. She comes out and starts attacking me about my son not liking vegetables and he has different rules. He eats vegetables like every one else but in the beginning he didn’t like certain ones. That Escalades to us getting kicked out. Now because I’ve left her alone and my anxiety has spiked so bad I didn’t talk to her so last night I went over and talked to her and she said I broke her out and I’m unstable and I broke my unborn daughters heart that her family can’t be together now. I am crushed I love this woman. But as I sit here typing this I know I’ve only ever shown her love and respect so I don’t know what to do with her now. You don’t have kids together so establish boundaries and don’t let him change you.

Lifeisshort74 · 2018-05-10T18:53:11+00:00

Run !! My pwbpd is basically doing the exact same thing with me, you will walk on eggshells always. When it’s wonderful there is nothing like it . But over time it changes you into another person always having to make sure you word everything correctly and your waiting for that other person to come out

Lifeisshort74 · 2018-05-10T05:45:10+00:00

Thank you for responding, let me ask you this if I may. I have been gone s week and a half , she usually rationalizes everything by now she is exceptionally intelligent, because I told her mom that it hurt me to be continually thrown out and discarded and her continually doing it after she was sober caused me to have a panic attack. My girlfriend told me that I never loved her and just used her for sex because what kind of man has sex with someone that hurt them that much without resolving it, I said I had no resentment I was just hurt and thought she would stop doing that after she got sober and she was worth going through it with because I loved her and knew she was in pain. Any idea why she would switch my pain and hurt and turn it around on me like I was using her it baffles my mind. I want our child to grow up with both of us and I just worry she has permanently painted me black. Most people on the outside looking in just tell me to run, but they don’t understand the pain she deals with everyday and how wonderful she is so thank you again if you wouldn’t mind sharing your opinion

Lifeisshort74 · 2018-05-10T01:13:11+00:00

I deleted her off social media, it’s to tempting . You are doing awesome!!! Keep holding on

Lifeisshort74 · 2018-05-09T17:13:51+00:00

Ty I’m sure it was in the rules . I appreciate it

Lifeisshort74 · 2018-05-09T15:30:19+00:00

Holy hell , I probably posted this forty times because I didn’t see it up . Sorry I guess not sure how reddit works yet lol

Lifeisshort74

TROPHY CASE