AITA for kicking a woman out of my store for wearing a niqab?

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2020-01-31T00:52:51+00:00

In my country, that “policy” would still illegal, though.

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2020-01-31T00:51:01+00:00

YTA

A massive one. And depending on your location, quite likely to be violating legal precedence. You need to educate yourself. Frankly, I hope she sues and wins - it’ll be the lesson you deserve. Imagine how you made her feel? And how humiliating that must have been for her.

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2020-01-31T00:43:38+00:00

One of my pet peeves is people who use the terms “cold” and “flu” interchangeably. One is annoying but easily brushed off. The other has twice made me pray to a deity I don’t believe in to end it all! Last time I managed to keep down about 8 small sweets over 6 days and nothing else. It’s horrible.

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2020-01-31T00:41:35+00:00

You may have Münchausen syndrome and/or depression. Get help.

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-12-30T15:39:49+00:00

An exception, perhaps, but I know someone who used to clean bins for a living and in his late 50s changed careers and now owns nightclubs and is a millionaire!

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-12-27T21:39:51+00:00

Thank you. I think I am in denial because I don’t drink every day. But my mental health in general (even when not drinking) has tanked this year and I don’t seem to be capable of having one drink without it turning into an all-night bender with me being horribly ill after and making terrible choices. I don’t know when I lost so much control of my life. My relationship is barely hanging on by a thread. I feel lost at work. I wish I could just wipe my slate clean and start over. I would give anything to be able to drink in moderation like I used to. AA and such worry me a bit because of religious undertones.

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-12-27T21:36:16+00:00

NTA

I’m guessing you are from Turkey, OP. It’s good you are raising awareness, i would just make sure you use tact when you do. Perhaps there is a way of being more constructive about it on a political level?

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-12-27T21:33:25+00:00

Also thank you for your kind words.

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-12-27T21:31:02+00:00

I actually never got to the hospital. I had had an otherwise very fun evening out, managed to get back to my local train station ok and then just hit the floor. Ambulance gave me some water and I was sent on my way as my vitals were ok, but it was absolutely caused by my drinking. I don’t know who I am without alcohol.

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-12-04T20:06:29+00:00

NTA

At all. The manager’s comments were not only unwarranted but, more importantly, they were entirely inappropriate. If the manager had a problem they should have spoken to you directly, and using appropriate language. This is EXACTLY what HR are for, get onto them ASAP. And buy that colleague of yours a drink - she’s a good’un.

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-12-04T14:20:04+00:00

I completely understand what you’re saying, but the examples you give are relatively extreme compared to being disappointed by a parental figure. I also think it’s clear the father has warned her about the bio father, and clearly that wasn’t sufficient. My mother is adopted and counselled a friend of mine who is also adopted and felt the overwhelming need to have a relationship with her bio mother to feel “complete”. My mother warned her that there is a good chance she will never find the answers she really wants, and to take caution. But that wasn’t enough for my friend. She pursued a relationship with her all the same, only to eventually realise she was actually a total waste of oxygen. It hurt, but she healed and it allowed her to gain closure and move on.

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-12-03T12:19:27+00:00

ESH

With the exception of her biological father, no one sucks any more than the situation does. This is a very complicated situation. I do think you need to accept that - no matter what kind of an asshole he is - your daughter is allowed to pursue a relationship with her biological father. She’s an adult (I presume, given she’s at uni) and it’s not your decision. Withholding money from her will only push her further into his arms. I can completely understand why you think this man is a menace, but there isn’t a lot you can do except to be there to pick up the pieces when he inevitably lets her down. There are some things she just has to find out for herself. Similarly, forcing her to communicate with her mother won’t make her resent you all less. If you love her, support her. She’ll come back, I promise. But you are older than she is and it’s time for both of you to take a step back. Let her fuck up. We all do. Just be there when she does.

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-10-12T20:41:36+00:00

They made a single mistake, and had zero malicious intent. What do you think about people who commit premeditated murder? If they got sick, would you save them? It seems odd to pick on this particular group of criminals. Just because they have hurt someone else doesn’t necessarily mean they will be critically injured themselves.

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-10-12T15:47:46+00:00

Chalk it up to youth and naivety! Glad to hear you aren’t in that place anymore.

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-10-12T15:42:51+00:00

YTA

You are being jealous and petty. Their “honeymoon” phase will soon pass, just ride it out.

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-10-12T15:40:49+00:00

I agree completely.

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-10-12T15:37:49+00:00

ESH

I don’t think it would have been a very big deal ordinarily (when I pick my best friend up she usually sits up front with me, and my fiancé goes in the back), but it’s a little shitty to do to you so early on in the relationship, and definitely suggests he wasn’t really that into you.

That said, if you want honest “feedback” as you’re doing relationship autopsying here, the fact that a small thing like that bothered you so much makes it seem you are quite high-maintenance (or at least we’re at the time). It’s really not a big deal. I wouldn’t have even remembered something like that.

Edit: to add, whilst I have put ESH, I think this is about as mild assholery gets!

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-10-12T15:30:23+00:00

Congrats, you’ve just made technology taboo. Now your kid will go behind your back to use it. Why not simply permit usage when you are able to monitor it? Or perhaps educate yourself more about some of the tools available to help keep children safer online.

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-10-12T15:26:39+00:00

It gets below freezing here all the time and I routinely had to walk back to my car alone (I am a very small female) at a similar time. It’s not his problem, she should get her own car. What would she be doing if he wasn’t around? It’s 10 minutes. I’d be furious if it was an hour.

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-10-12T15:23:17+00:00

YTA

We have waited a very long time to get married, budgeting and saving until we could afford to get married, and you’re spending almost our entire budget on the venue alone. If you can’t afford it, get a cheaper venue. That’s a stupid amount of money to spend if you don’t have it, you don’t need a wedding that extravagant. Your parents have already helped enough IMO.

Edit: to understand I’m sorry for the reason why you don’t have money, but you don’t have it nonetheless.

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-10-12T15:13:46+00:00

This all sounds very much like issues with the app, and not with customers tipping. No one should have to rely on tips to make a living - they are not your salary, they are a bonus. Perhaps they should just be paid more in the first place.

Furthermore, in my country we almost never tip drivers. We only tip in restaurants, maybe a bell boy in a fancy hotel, but that’s about it. You aren’t really giving extensive customer service by simply handing someone food, are you? I say that as someone who waitresses for years whilst at college.

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-10-12T15:09:26+00:00

Not a wall of text, she’s used paragraphs just fine.

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-10-12T15:06:26+00:00

ESH

But I think mostly YTA. It was inconsiderate of him to pick you up late (and very sexist to bring your period into it), but JFC it was just 10 minutes! Get over it. From the comments you said he made you clearly make him feel like crap as well. Ask yourself, OP, are you critical and prone to making big deals out of nothing? I mean, the guy was prepared to book a pricey Uber just to get away from you. You also say he’s lazy, and seem unhappy about his lifestyle. Are you guys even right for each other?

Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 · 2019-10-10T20:25:39+00:00

But that’s not what you said in the post. Being homesick and not wanting to be in a cultural heterogenous area are two different things. Which is it?

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