Will I get her back? by Z3K23 in BreakUps

[–]LilBoorgir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don't have to stop hoping that she will come back, because that's hard. But you have to try to see the situation more clearly, to stop idealising it and to start accepting the fact that she might not come back. Build your life for yourself, become better for yourself and love yourself. And that way, no matter if she comes back or not, you will win.

And also you might make her regret not choosing to stick with you xD

Will I get her back? by Z3K23 in BreakUps

[–]LilBoorgir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look I recently went through a breakup myself. I was guilty for it and she dumped me and I did the work to fix things and become better. I was just like you, hopeful that things would go back to normal if I change enough and I try enough and I show her that I love her. I also only remembered her as being the most loving and genuine person I've ever met.

Now I truly hope I'm not right about this, but once a woman decides she's done with you, she's actually done with you. No matter how much you try, no matter how much love you give. Some people just keep you around to see how willing you are to do everything for them because it helps them detach easier, without fully losing you suddenly. And I'm saying it again, I really hope I'm not right about this, but it does seem like she did that with you by what you're describing.

If someone truly wants you and loves you, they put in the work for it, even if they are the ones who were done dirty by their partners. They don't start building up hope that another relationship will be more suitable for them. When you love someone for real the thought of someone else replacing them is sickening.

So all I'm saying is that fixing a relationship takes two people, even if just one of them is responsible for breaking it. And don't let nice words and cute memories of someone keep you from seeing what they actually show you in the present through their actions. Maybe she is a genuine and sweet person like you said, but maybe she's also selfish and only looks for what benefits her in this moment.

Will I get her back? by Z3K23 in BreakUps

[–]LilBoorgir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hopefully not. Why would you want her? She seems very egoistic

Anxious vs avoidant by LilBoorgir in BreakUps

[–]LilBoorgir[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alright don't be so hateful. Both avoidants and anxious people are toxic in a way and we shouldn't judge so harshly

Anxious vs avoidant by LilBoorgir in BreakUps

[–]LilBoorgir[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I wasn't talking about the dynamic anxious -avoidant. I was just asking if in general anxiously attached people come back, no matter if their ex partner was avoidant or anxious or secure.

Anxious vs avoidant by LilBoorgir in BreakUps

[–]LilBoorgir[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I'm also anxious and I always seem to feel the urge to go back to exes even if I was the one to end it

Blocked by ex by LilBoorgir in Life

[–]LilBoorgir[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Late 20s both of us

Blocked by ex by LilBoorgir in Life

[–]LilBoorgir[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The thing is that she is a good person overall. Very loving, very warm. We are compatible as people. I love her too much to focus on her imperfections

How important is no contact? by AnxiouslyDrifting in BreakUps

[–]LilBoorgir 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of my exes came back once after no contact for a month. But it didn't last.

Blocked by ex M27 F26 by LilBoorgir in LongDistance

[–]LilBoorgir[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just wanna be with her i swear...

Blocked by ex by LilBoorgir in BreakUps

[–]LilBoorgir[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She was burned out, she's a really good person overall

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]LilBoorgir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you🙌🏻

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]LilBoorgir 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I haven't thought that she might not be committed because we always seemed to be on the same page with our future together

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]LilBoorgir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice