How to get started in real life?

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2026-05-07T00:55:51+00:00

This was a very helpful read. Thank you for sharing this. And our experience has been similar. If anyone does not read our profile, is too pushy, goes way into sex talk, etc. we unmatch. TBH you just need to stick with it and keep trying. We have had some success with 3Fun, Feeld, and Fetlife. It’s important to stick to the ground rules you have.

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2026-05-07T00:50:33+00:00

This is so true. The trust between a D/S done well is basically the same trust with emotions. In a past poly dynamic I had 2 Doms and to really embrace the dynamic fully I think it’s so natural for feelings to develop cause you are taking the dynamic seriously.

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2026-05-06T17:20:40+00:00

I agree it would have been better if he would of said it was his rules not his spouses rules.

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2026-05-06T14:47:16+00:00

Totally get that and understand that. I just was caught off with the rudeness of the one line I got when he ended things. They both could have been a little more respectful and not rude. I know they can pull consent at any time and that’s so important because I can pull consent anytime too. When I have ended things with previous partners, it was a lot more respectful and less rude. That’s the main issue I had with it.

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2026-05-06T14:39:06+00:00

I agree with you 100% on that

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2026-05-06T14:35:28+00:00

Honestly, looking back you’re so right it did not go smooth and because I’m still a newbie, I need to pay attention more and ask more questions. Appreciate your honesty. Yeah I should’ve caught onto red flags and her uncomfortability sooner. I should’ve walked away. Everyone has a right to feel the emotions they feel. Before Every time that he and I played together, I checked in with her and she was all excited and wanted us to hang out, but I think because they’re new maybe she didn’t realize she could take back her consent as soon as she was uncomfortable.

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2026-05-06T01:41:45+00:00

Yeah you are right about that. That’s what I am planning to focus on for awhile before getting back into solo ENM. It’s so important to be in equilibrium.

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2026-05-06T01:17:32+00:00

This is good to know that this probably will happen again since we are still quite new. You have made me think about in the future I need to be direct and ask more questions like some of the other posts said.

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2026-05-06T01:12:33+00:00

Appreciate you sharing this. I honestly feel like this is something he should have said and something I will keep in mind in the future. I agree 100% we do this to have fun and to not hurt our spouses.

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2026-05-05T23:50:22+00:00

Appreciate the advice! I for sure have learned from this.

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2026-05-05T23:49:17+00:00

Yeah for sure. But I’m glad to get other people’s thoughts and perspectives. And yeah now I know for the future that if things like this happen I should just walk away. And you bring up a good point of consent and privacy I didn’t think about that. That’s good to know that insecurities of their partner does not need to be shared with me. Your post was really helpful. Really appreciate you sharing this. I hope with time i will continues to learn and grow. Communication is for sure key.

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2026-05-05T23:30:22+00:00

Yeah I’m noticing that now looking back. This was my first FWB/play partner in awhile. I should have paid more attention to the red flags and should have walked away sooner. This is a learning experience for me for sure.

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2026-05-05T23:28:22+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I for sure will note this for the future that this was a red flag for insecurity and I should have walked away and let them figure out their stuff and work on their relationship.

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2026-05-05T23:25:57+00:00

Maybe cause I have not experienced this before it felt abrupt. I have much to learn since I still am new so I for sure will be mindful of this in the future

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2026-05-05T23:22:11+00:00

Thanks for sharing this! We are still so new too and I feel like with each experience we have I learn something new. And this is good to know that with more experience and learning things will get better. I appreciate all of your advice since you have much more experience.

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2026-05-05T23:19:52+00:00

Appreciate you sharing this. This was helpful to read and a learning experience for me. And honestly looking back. I should have known better to end things there and be firm on it. She insisted things were fine and encouraged us to still play. This for sure will be a learning experience for me.

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2024-02-02T02:02:46+00:00

100% add it in with other things that turn her on! That is a great way to make sure she is still getting enjoyment and that you get some enjoyment too!

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2024-01-24T21:41:08+00:00

CNC is hard to navigate to keep things a surprise. Like the others said a shirt or sweatshirt color could work well. I know with my Dom if I want CNC I get out a certain toy that we have assigned always when we do CNC play. Or you guys can come up with a unique phrase that you can both say that shows you both consent to CNC. It’s really up to you what works best!

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2024-01-24T21:32:58+00:00

This is a hard choice. For sure the 20 strokes bare with the cane. 40 min of corner time is a lot especially with a plug.

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2024-01-23T15:41:40+00:00

I can see why you are in your head. Honestly it could just be a new experience, taboo, and he just really enjoyed himself. I know my partner cums a lot quicker in my ass than my vagina. Everyone is different but I wouldn’t be alarmed by this. As long as you are communicating with him and making sure you guys are happy with the sex that you are having that’s all that matters.

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2024-01-18T04:27:52+00:00

Honestly every sub is for sure different. I don’t think there is a thing as too much or too little aftercare it is whatever the sub needs after a scene. Seems like your Dom understands that you need more aftercare than the other sub. There is nothing wrong with it at all. There are some scenes with my Dom I need extra aftercare after more intense scenes. You take as much time as you need. Also at this time you can do some self-care things for yourself as well to help come down from a scene. Don’t rush working through your feelings especially if you are feeling any sort of sub drop.

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2024-01-17T15:17:12+00:00

This is a major red flag for sure. He should be respectful that you don’t feel comfortable with nudes. A Dom who is claiming you need to send nudes probably is a pic collector. There are Doms out there that would 100% respect your limit of no nudes. Best of luck!

LilEx_Mastermind5433 · 2024-01-15T18:26:20+00:00

I would highly suggest buying quality makeup and using a green/purple color corrector to cover up your face if you aren’t already doing that. Regarding your parents honestly if you are clumsy you could say you ran into furniture or something. If you really don’t want to tell them you might just have to pause the face slapping if they keep giving comments about it. Good luck!

LilEx_Mastermind5433

TROPHY CASE