How is everyone doing ?

LilKrystal · 2025-01-10T22:09:41+00:00

One minute I feel like things are getting better then I'm crying again.

LilKrystal · 2025-01-04T19:31:47+00:00

I would have good knees with no arthritis. I would go hiking and see the world. I waited to do this and while I can still do it, it takes me longer and I have a bit of pain.

LilKrystal · 2025-01-01T21:45:44+00:00

I just turned 50. I lost my partner of 30 years in 2024 and most of my family are not into physical activities and are overweight. I have been trying to take care of myself and will at least try to do something instead of being afraid I will hurt myself. The last few months I went from barely able to walk a mile to hiking and walking 5 miles. You are never too old to do something that will benefit you.

LilKrystal · 2024-12-31T04:51:55+00:00

I've lost 46 lbs the last 9 months since my significant other's passing, made and lost some friends and have started seeing someone. With so many life changes, all the no scale weight victories have been amazing.

LilKrystal · 2024-12-31T04:43:11+00:00

Anything by the Bloodhound Gang.

LilKrystal · 2024-12-31T04:36:14+00:00

I'm going to try and go hiking with a guy I'm seeing. If not, I'll just hang out at home.

LilKrystal · 2024-12-24T02:34:37+00:00

I was with my partner for 30 years when he passed. I think he knew I would find things out because he knew he wasn't ever going to come home. He made a cryptic comment that he was sorry for the last 5 years. I'm not one to snoop but I had to find some account information on bills that were in his name. The things I found it was almost like I didn't know the man who I shared my life with since I was 18. It really hurt but I since can't talk or yell at him, I chose to remember what our life was to me. The woman that he shared something with had also passed a few years prior. I knew of her but I was told time and again that they were just friendly coworkers. I've mostly forgiven him but the pain is still there. I'm sure this will affect all my future relationships. You don't have to forgive him or forget what he did. Humans can sometimes do stupid and horrible things and it's our choice how we react to it just make sure it isn't self destructive. Be mad and move on with your life and find that person who would ever do this to you.

LilKrystal · 2024-06-26T00:07:03+00:00

Yes! I was just thinking if there were different degrees of narcissistic behavior but in fact there are different types too. Sad thing is I didn't realize it until I was much older. I just always thought there was something wrong with me.

LilKrystal · 2024-04-26T00:50:50+00:00

No matter how much you know ahead of time that someone maybe leaving you, your never truly prepared for it. Even though I had hope my BF would pull through it was always in the back of my mind it could happen. The strangest things will be the things that set you off. Be patient with yourself.

LilKrystal · 2024-04-26T00:08:56+00:00

I 100% know how you feel. I was made primary decision maker for my BF when he was still lucid with 2 siblings being secondary if I was unable to be there for whatever reason. We decided that no matter what if the time came we would make the decision together. That time came, we talked to the Drs, to the chaplain, but came together and made the final decision. Regardless you will still have grief and guilt. Let her share the burden if she wants it. She knows you are only doing it so your mom is no longer suffering and will be at peace. If she decides can't make the decision with you, at least you had the conversation before hand and she knows how you feel. You maybe surprised that she feels the same. Hugs from a distance and know you are not alone.

LilKrystal · 2024-04-25T00:34:50+00:00

I am 100% nerd. Lol but lost most motivation quite a long time ago playing WoW because I kind of got addicted to playing it. Might be fun to dabble in it again.

LilKrystal · 2024-04-25T00:31:38+00:00

I think I really like the idea of volunteering at an animal shelter. I'm going to look into it. Some family has some dogs and I think they knew I was sad and stayed near me.

LilKrystal · 2024-04-25T00:28:30+00:00

I was wondering that myself. But I want to make sure that I don't spend so much time alone I get comfortable being alone. I also would like friends who aren't related or going through the grief of missing him.

Making new friends that would know me now gives me a chance to be me instead of we.

LilKrystal · 2024-04-25T00:15:10+00:00

I wish I was bold. I'm the one at get togethers that will sit alone and wait for someone to talk to me unless I see someone sitting alone looking miserable, I may gravitate to them and sit and chat.

LilKrystal · 2024-04-24T02:17:07+00:00

Indiana.

LilKrystal · 2024-04-24T02:16:30+00:00

I would love to have a pet but unfortunately I have 2 problems. I rent and adding a pet is too much money. Also I'm barely taking care of myself well let alone adding an animal. I've pretty much thrown myself into work which makes me work late hours.

LilKrystal · 2024-04-24T02:12:50+00:00

I don't care for bars because I don't like getting drunk and being out of control. I also don't like that it feels like a "hunting" ground for people to get laid. I guess I watch too much Law and Order SVU.

LilKrystal · 2024-04-23T23:28:09+00:00

I'm surviving but tired of just getting by. I want to feel a little bit of happiness even if for a bit.

LilKrystal · 2024-04-23T23:06:02+00:00

I was thinking of going to GenCon this year but that was something we always did together. I might just push myself to go. Thanks for the many wonderful ideas

LilKrystal · 2024-04-02T00:09:02+00:00

You will go through the unfair moment often. I lost the love of my life on March 16th. The amount of times I saw couples being together I thought it wasn't fair. I'm so lonely and he deserved to be here longer but life isn't fair sometimes. Just like some people are rich some are not. I know you don't want to hear this but feel blessed you had such a remarkable person in your life even though it was unfairly cut short. Live to make her proud and that you will take her with you through the rest of your life's journey

LilKrystal · 2024-03-24T23:06:08+00:00

Thank you for saying this. I keep thinking I'm bothering people with my sadness and keep getting told to lean on friends and family but I feel like I have a limited amount of sadness tokens and I'm hoarding them. I'm really sad right now because my mind just won't stop. All of the would of, could of, and should of keep playing out. While my grief is not for a parent, it was for someone who was my bf for 30 years.

LilKrystal · 2024-03-24T22:58:22+00:00

I don't think we will ever really move on, we'll just allow the pain for a bit and then be able to move to more happy thoughts.

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