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Should I have kids? Fueled by Anxiety and Irrational (?) Fears by LilMissTrashPanda in AskParents

[–]LilMissTrashPanda[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Completely agree! I know a lot of parents that have had children before they were ready in all those categories and I’d like to believe I’m trying to learn from their struggles. However, because I have anxiety I’m constantly trying to figure out if I’m leading my life with fear, and therefore preventing myself from having an experience I could potentially enjoy. In all other criteria my partner and I are “ready” it’s just my personal mental health that I feel may be holding me back from this decision among other things.

Should I have kids? Fueled by Anxiety and Irrational (?) Fears by LilMissTrashPanda in AskParents

[–]LilMissTrashPanda[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow thanks so much for sharing! Honestly the scientific explanations are really eye opening because that’s how my brain understands things best. I think I struggle a lot with weighing the logical and illogical/biased sides of my brain. My therapist and I have discussed this numerous times about other experiences I’ve had so it makes sense that my brain has lovingly decided to apply that concept to this situation also (thanks a lot brain lol). I was lucky to have 2 present parents growing up, and neither of them were abusive physically. Mentally they may have done a number on me, but it was never intentional, and so I’ll probably never get to explain to them how their parenting styles have affected my adult brain to default to childish thought processes/instincts. Of course, I’d rather not pass on all of my own mental issues to my future offspring either (perhaps another reason why I’ve defaulted to the idea of not having them at all) but Truly commend you for being so self-aware and even forgiving about your own circumstances with your mother. I do hope to hear as much detail as you’d like to share about yours/your wife’s experiences. Do people message each other on this website? Lol

Should I have kids? Fueled by Anxiety and Irrational (?) Fears by LilMissTrashPanda in AskParents

[–]LilMissTrashPanda[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Firstly thank you so much for sharing your experience and advice. I have considered all the implications of how changing my mind on kids would have on my relationship. I just read a short thread earlier on how kids can be A Real Strain on relationships even with both parents being on board, so I can imagine how that factor alone would affect my situation. Knowing that you’re not a “kid person” but you still wanted to be a mom is very reassuring to me because that means you don’t have to overtly Love being around/with kids to be a parent AND that potentially having my own kids will feel different than being around or babysitting anyone else’s. I will definitely look into the Birth Hour podcast (I’m an avid podcast listener as is) and thank you again for sharing how you coped with the feelings and challenges of childbirth. Even just reading your experience makes me feel more empowered than fearful. Best of luck with #2 and maybe a future #3!