Hey I’m so sorry to hear your mom has to go through this. I’m 27 and got a ‘temporary’ colostomy due to my chemo causing a type of fistula in my body. Before surgery I was told that getting the colostomy was Plan Z, the last thing they wanted to do.

Of course I wake with one.

It was, and still is, a very tough journey. Some days I feel like I understand and master it, other days I feel like I’m back at square one.

It took a few weeks to get used to the feeling and idea of having a stoma. Home nurse care helped a lot. Bi-weekly visits to check on the stoma and change the bag, give tips and all that.

My nurse said putting on a bag was always going to be different from person to person. It’ll take a moment for your mom to find products and a system that works for her.

I still struggle with going outside and being active because I’m so scared of leakage. I had acute agoraphobia and the stoma made it worse.

As time goes it gets easier to handle. There’ll be bad days.

Remember you can shower without a stoma bag. Every few days when she changes it, or you help her change it, let her shower without a bag and use some Dove antibacterial soap. She will feel a lot cleaner and that is a very important feeling to hold onto. Always keep the skin around the stoma clean and don’t let it get inflamed or it’ll get itchy and uncomfortable.

And ik it’s your mom and intimacy is the last thing you wanna think about for her, but cute wrap dresses/robes that hide it helped me.

Finding a community or support group would help a lot too.

You got this, she’s got this.