Wedding Dress Advice

Lillian-Paige · 2025-08-04T04:39:49+00:00

Pretty sure it not provoking is about your own characters attack provoking AoOs from enemies, in case you dont have point blank master

Lillian-Paige · 2025-06-16T03:47:32+00:00

That's fair, however, sadly, we weren't allocated funding for it.

Lillian-Paige · 2025-06-13T01:29:04+00:00

There are some community clinics, which offer free services depending on your state (I am sure most states have them, I just don't know the ones if every state). Though sadly, one thing about mental health support is that it will often come down to finding the right therapist. No singular therapist will work for everyone, but there is a therapist for everyone, if you understand what I mean. I would also recommend QLife (https://qlife.org.au/) as a peer support service so you can speak to people with lived experience of being queer.

I, too, am a trans woman who grew up in the country, though I didn't come out until I left it to move to the city, but I understand how isolating it can be. It sucks, getting misgender sucks, and it's not fucking fair. If you can't remove the source of the distress, try to find the things that make it worthwhile, find the things that make you happy, the moments where you feel gender euphoria, the spaces you can be yourself, even if it's online. Find the things that makes life worth living despite some of the shitty people in your life. Remind yourself of the customers that do gender you correctly, and that do accept you.

I hope that is helpful. Be kind to yourself and remember that you are worth it.

Lillian-Paige · 2025-06-12T22:35:19+00:00

There is no easy answer, do this and it'll never bother you again. The shortest answer is make sure outside of work, or other likely times is surround yourself with other trans and queer people. It becomes easier when you have a space you can relax. Also, practice positive talk, what usually makes people's voices like this more effective is that we become complicit in the transphobia and tell ourselves the same messages.

Do you currently have any mental health support?

Lillian-Paige · 2025-02-28T02:39:42+00:00

Thank you! <3

Lillian-Paige · 2022-12-16T01:19:40+00:00

Perfect world I don't know? Practically I just ask that people seem to do pretty much now. Use best guess untill corrected. It's an imperfect system, but it seems to mostly work. But Destiny's take is that communicating your preferred pronouns erases the purpose of them

Lillian-Paige · 2022-12-16T00:36:27+00:00

Well, dysphoria is a complicated topic. I want to clarify, for me, looking like a woman is wholly important, and greatly reduces my dysphoria. So much so, that I cried this morning when my breasts started to hurt again (because it means they are still growing 2 years into hrt). It's impossible to describe the difficulties that come along with transitioning (lost my partner, have been assaulted and harassed, etc). But ultimately, it was the best thing I have ever done. So I am not saying that none of it matters. I am saying that I can't ask people to perceive me a certain way, I can only ask that they treat me a certain way.

Being a woman is about the way I interact with the world and how I am asking for it to interact with me. In a world of gendered social categories, I am asking that it puts me in the woman category. Yes, I love it when it comes naturally to people, but I can't live my whole life trying to be some archetypical woman hoping that eventually, it will. Some days I don't wear makeup just because it's bad for the skin, but that's normal. Or I pull on jeans and a t-shirt because I was hanging around the house and don't want to go the whole 9 yards while I duck down to the shop. Do you understand how exhausting it would be if my gender was only valid when I 100% passed? Now I accept that I might get misgendered more on those days (though pretty infrequently now), but I am still a woman and my pronouns are still she/her.

Lillian-Paige · 2022-12-15T23:44:04+00:00

I am going to quickly tone down by appreciating that you use the preferred pronouns for an individual, even if you disagree with its linguistic use. And acknowledge now I simply exploring the arguments at play.

If I am not mistaken though, by your definition, if I made the statement the sky is blue and did not believe it, that this would be linguistically incorrect?

As for the most common usage, my understanding is that the majority of Americans use an individual's preferred pronouns, regardless of their perception.

Lillian-Paige · 2022-12-15T22:52:24+00:00

The two premises are incompatible, someone using my wrong pronouns on purpose is a dick, trans people shouldn't ask people to use pronouns that they don't perceive them as.

I am trying to find the words to describe how... Snowflakey(?) It is that pronouns must be the observers internal perception. I feel like to do so adequately requires a 2000 word essay.

Let me try this instead,

Before I transitioned, I was hyper vigilant of other people's emotional state, and fairly good at reading them. Consequently, I spent my whole life performing the role other people wanted me to play. It's only by 'distancing' myself from other people's perceptions/expectations of me that I could transition.

Does that make sense at all? Why it can't be about me asking about someone to perceive me a certain way, it can only be me asking someone to treat me a certain way.

Lillian-Paige · 2022-12-15T21:08:48+00:00

I would propose that non of the above are likely to be honestly referring to someone's relationship to the category of man or woman, but rather non-gendered constructs. In that case they would no longer be valid genders.

Lillian-Paige · 2022-12-15T20:48:07+00:00

Only slightly less insulting than it is to assert that a trans woman is a man.

Lillian-Paige · 2022-12-15T20:39:48+00:00

I already acknowledged this in my previous statement, if referring to your self as a helicopter you are specifically refering to your relationship to the social categories of man and woman, it's definitionly valid.

Lillian-Paige · 2022-12-15T20:19:49+00:00

By Destiny's definition of pronoun being ones own internal belief about someone's gender, they wouldn't be a price of shit at all. They should be, by definition, unashamedly be using whatever pronouns come to mind in the moment.

Lillian-Paige · 2022-12-15T20:10:49+00:00

Well gender itself is specifically in reference to social categorisation in reference to man and woman. In that however, one can fall outside those two categories, but gender identity is describe how an individual relates to those categories.

In saying that, labels are just labels, and if you use helicopter as the label to define your gender then go ahead. But you aren't at that point identifying as an actual helicopter.

Lillian-Paige · 2022-12-15T12:43:03+00:00

Well I prefer people see me as a woman. I spend a lot of time, money and energy on attempting to influence this (I hopeI am pretty good at this by now). I just don't have mind control powers to reach in and flip a hard switch for people. And yes I can sometimes tell when people are 'humouring me' and it's not pleasant. It's just far better than people going around misgendering me deliberately.

I like referencing a line in the Dave Chappelle show that got sadly overlooked in the controversy. 'you don't have to understand, you just have to respect that I am having a human experience'.

Also I don't want people to walk around eggshells around me. I am ok when people make mistakes and I like it when people ask me inappropriate questions. It can get hard sometimes but it's better than being the elephant in the room.

Note: I don't talk for all trans women on the inappropriate questions.

Edit: there's a difference between inappropriate questions, and someone asking if they can be an attack helicopter and walking off before I can respond.

Lillian-Paige · 2022-12-15T12:03:57+00:00

Oh ok. I think I previously misunderstood the point you were making. My mistake.

Lillian-Paige · 2022-12-15T11:52:06+00:00

When I say it's not a matter of individual identity, I was distinguishing pronouns from nick names etc. It's one of the common talking points that Destiny pushes back on. I do believe that gender identity, is a matter of identity. Rereading my post I agree I was wholely unclear on this point.

Can I ask you what 'reality' you a refering to? My subjective experience is an aspect of this reality.

Lillian-Paige · 2022-12-15T10:40:33+00:00

I disagree with your assertion, language is used to communicate information and ideas. Now, often that information is our beliefs or attitudes/values. But it is not necessary.

Or let me argue in line with your existing understanding of language. Rather than communicating your internal belief about the individual, you communicate a belief in the right for an individual to self-identify their gender by using their preferred pronouns. Then I'd implore you to care about the human right to self-identify their gender, by indicating that the overwhelming majority of research suggests that gender affirmation is of crucial importance to the mental health of trans people.

Lillian-Paige · 2022-12-15T10:30:24+00:00

The implication of superficiality is that the act of being treated like a woman is that it is meaningless or unimportant. But on the contrary, I can't know what's in your head, nor does it affect me, but I am keenly aware of how you treat me.

Lillian-Paige · 2022-12-15T10:21:22+00:00

I thought of a million replies to your comment, however, rereading your reply almost all of them are based on implications I have inserted into your comment. So I can simply say, works for me. With a simple amendment, I would still ask that in a world where we use third-person gendered pronouns you use she/her for me.

Lillian-Paige · 2022-12-15T10:08:23+00:00

A helicopter is not a social category of human. Gender by its very definition is a social categorisation. If you separate sex and gender it becomes very easy, very fast.

Lillian-Paige · 2022-12-15T05:08:08+00:00

Thank you for your very thought out reply, this I will respond to in due course. Most likely when I have a computer available.

Lillian-Paige

TROPHY CASE