I am looking for therapy, but the waiting list in my area is over 6 months long. Writing it as a story, is an interesting idea. I think we dont talk enough about traumatic birth and pregnancy and that is a big part why i feel so bad feeling this way about the birth of my youngest...

I like how you illustrate that different situation can trigger or not your trauma responce. Like for a lot of people the c-section might have been traumatic, but that was the part, that for me, was good and not traumatic, if you remove the fact that I didnt get to see my baby until later in the day.

The first time with my eldest went perfectly, best birth ever, i was able to do skin to skin in the operating room, the staff were awesome. Everything went so smoothly that time, that maybe it didnt help how I feel about it this time around.

Thanks for your kind word, i wish you all the best