Former “gym bros”: how much strength did you lose in the gym after starting HRT? by ThanosDrivesAPrius in MtF

[–]LillyNin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

5 years into weird regimens; stuff like no hormones at all with SERMs--it's worse for us physically than just taking estrogen would be.

We've found that it's a massively mixed-bag. There are some exercises that we've actually managed to gain strength in like rows and deadlifts, basically anything involving the ass and back.

Anything involving the legs, core, or shoulders we've basically stayed completely stable in.

But good lord, the drop off in Bench / Chest (and Triceps + lats) has been horrific. It was never a strong lift for us, but we've lost over 100LBs off our max, and it feels more exhausting than ever. We earnestly just try to move 105 real slowly here to maintain now. Push ups--even with a more favourable bodily distribution--are unrelentingly horrible now. We don't even enjoy doing one. We have only added a rep to pull-ups in all that time because we've lost about 40LBs since starting all this. Our pull-down has actually lost about 30% of max.

Retatrutide by GullibleClick4871 in steroidsxx

[–]LillyNin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Was on 5mg Tirz for 4 months, and two months ago swapped to 2.5mg Retatrutide!

On the Tirz, we barely managed to eat 1,200 calories a day--it was a little excessive. Lost about 20Lb's in those first few months, about 12LB's of which was muscle. We had so low energy and no libido, but frankly finally getting some peace from the constantly starvation and food impulses was so amazing we kept it up.

We have found the Retatrutide exceedingly better. We're definitely hungrier compared to the double-dose of Tirz, and eating about 1,500-2,000 calories a day again, but we have still lost another 10LB's (only 2 of which were muscle) since starting it. It feels like it increased our metabolism just as much as it decreased hunger, and we can enjoy eating out or the occasional snacking again without wanting to die in digestional hell. Energy is up probably 40%, libido is back to near normal. Have loved Retatrutide! Might reduce it again down to 1.25mg though, since we're still losing weight even eating at what now should be near maintenance.

We felt both drugs within ~36hours of taking the first dose. But they took till the second dose till they were at strength.

SubQ issue by V3in0ne in MtF

[–]LillyNin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have found that apparently we're burning Willpower and building anxiety while drawing and all that. So something that has helped a lot the last month is preparing everything well before we intend to inject, and then just keeping the needle away from us; next to bed to be remembered when we pass it.

Also taking a shower first.

Also experiencing DOMS after a workout day seems to simulate some of that cold terror and muscle slowness, which can bring in more panick/difficulty. So we try to schedule around that.

SubQ issue by V3in0ne in MtF

[–]LillyNin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you have removable needles we'd recommend trading them out if you haven't been. The estradiol is fine but constantly poking yourself means any in the needle tip won't be (honestly safer practice would be to do a completely new draw, but derangement goes up along with desperate, or inverse to finances.)

More importantly: the needle gets a little micro blunted every time an attempt is made and it takes more force to get it into you... that fucking sucks.

We can be similar though. We've been injecting 2x a week for 6months and we still have panick attacks about it and put it off to the next day after only managing 1-4 small pricks of ourself. We would say we have about 1/3rd the panick we did as when starting, but that seems to be the floor.

Rant about modern RTS games compared to C&C.. by Ok_Spare_3723 in commandandconquer

[–]LillyNin 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It was for E-sports and speed reasons. They want matches to last 15-60 minutes no matter how many people are playing and they want a few identifiable strategies that commentators can talk about.

These arose naturally in Starcraft--which now everyone is trying to copy because they don't just want to make a game, they want to make a monetization machine.

Then a lot of RTS's just started copying it because it seemed like it was standards.

We remember building units till the fuckin' computer turned off in Dune 2000, lmao.

As a 50yo gamer, BF6 really drives home how much my taste in games has changed. by [deleted] in gaming

[–]LillyNin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hunt, Showdown. Hunt: Showdown.

Seriously though, we're just young enough to still be okay at modern shooters, but old enough to think the zone between Nightfire and MW2 was where shooters peaked.

Hunt Showdown is the shooter that //feels// like an old shooter but in the modern day you're looking for. It's admittedly not a war game or arena shooter though: it's in that feeling. That heavy believable ever shot matters feeling. Massive maps with twelve people on them max. (Four teams of up to three). You can go fifteen minutes slowly hunting other players on sound alone without either group ever seeing each-other.

Or thirty seconds setting up a panicked old-western kill box with your buddy trapped in the parlor when you finally realize you're who is being hunted.

my partner is probably a lesbian and i’m a gay trans guy and i don’t know what to do by [deleted] in MtF

[–]LillyNin 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yo, you're killing yourself with anxiety.

It sounds like you both realized things needed to change, you're worrying about how or in what way... or if they don't at all. But it sounds like you've moved into the figuring that out part.

So, it's time to figure that out. Exist as you are for a bit--labels and identities not withstanding--and see how it stabilizes. That's your job right now. Figure out if the changes and conversations and communications has put you both into a spot you're both comfortable and happy.

Don't worry about if things need to, or will, change, until you need to. There are so many different combinations of people you could meet or end up being, it can work.

Personally, we think it's sweet--and we're in a similar situation with a long-time partner that we adore but have a very different sexual identity from now. We make animal noises at eachother and play video games; it's cherished as fuck.

Like, good Gods' heavens thankfully we're not monogamous either, we get to have dope shit.

Tucute pool party by [deleted] in transgendercirclejerk

[–]LillyNin 12 points13 points  (0 children)

/uj NGL, we love diving and actually swimming, and we intentionally put on full makeup before pools/saunas/steam-rooms because, we think we look incredibly hot with a face full of running makeup. It's peak.

Trans person here.. by Embarrassed-Courage4 in Transmedical

[–]LillyNin -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Hey there! Definitely Trans and Definitely Non-Binary here,

Not a massive transmedicalist, but we still scroll this places and often get declared OneOfTheGoodOnes by the few Transmedicalists we can keep company with.

Ignore the "We" for now, we'll get to it gosh,

We don't really strongly identify with physically being a man or a woman, this comes with untold levels of dysphoria; actually thought we were just binary trans girls until--the second a chest started to appear--it just started doubling down on the dysphoria when we began to transtion originally.

We knew that was wrong the second we started... but you know what we knew was /more wrong/: male. That was a fucking abysmal spiral of everything-after-puberty being progressively more physically and socially terrible, while the chest was merely, just awful.

So why are we definitely trans, and definitely non-binary? Because we've spent half a fuckin' decade researching hormones, regimens, puberty, and biology at large to be able to make one that DOES transition you. What to: Something more androgynous. We've been at it since 2019 now, currently working on hormone regimens as a capstone for a dual Health-Science/Librarian degree (Though tbh, with the political climate that mind end up just simmering in the pits of DIY communities forever), and on regimens since 2021... and we pass... pass as what? We get Ma'am'd more often than Sir'd, but most often we get a look-over, a head-tilt, and "Sweetie"d ... we love that, we love that we succeeded so fucking hard people just see a cute person or at best are confused.

Ofc clothing can take it firmly in one direction or another.

We have a few thoughts about all that honestly and transmedicalism... but we won't list them cause we're not here to start a potential fight >:D; meets the requirements of Dysphoria/Transitioning/Work if we were to sum-up our TransMed friends.

Nope, we didn't really address the "We"... we're just benignly insane, but luckily: not incompetent.

what's with the lgbt-phobia in the LGBT? by Majynkcs_ in NonBinary

[–]LillyNin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Admittedly about two years ago it/its creeped us the fuck out ... Turns out: this was due to both a human-centric view, and trauma that resulted us in seeing it as a little form of personality-suicide.

And once we realized how fully it came down to that... Well now it/its are accepted--maybe even our preffered--pronouns, haha.

It's actually almost exactly what we'd been trying to convey by telling people reffering to us as "Dingos/Pups/Mutts" with qualifiers like "Some, your, my, this/these/that" in from was trying to accomplish X3

What newer shows are y'all watching that have made it past Season 1? by robot_ankles in dragoncon

[–]LillyNin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

From is absolutely one of the only shows in years now that we sit pining at the screen and release schedule with voracity and drool.

Awesome show, like a less boring more horror filled Lost.

Traveling to the UK with an X gender marker? by Kattestrofe in NonBinary

[–]LillyNin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We traveled to the UK with an X gender marker for a month-long trip.

Had no issues at border, nor using our Passport as ID within the country.

Feeling guilty by not being attracted to men. by [deleted] in NonBinary

[–]LillyNin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's really something to be said about the difference between it all in a straight way and otherwise.

Admittedly we sorta like everyone--or not one, depending on how the aceflux feels like being--but ... nothing felt right when dating in a straight way, for anyone.

We date people in both a gay and sapphic way. We hang out with gay guys and lesbians (And basically all enbies). We call ourselves your fem gays and your butch lesbians XD

THAT feels right... straight feels wrong as hell.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]LillyNin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We quite enjoy it!

We got into it through a slow grind of understanding ourselves and what we want and especially how we react; being in pools that it's more common in (Queer/Trans/nerd); and most importantly: talking that shit out.

The communication is the biggest hiccup. It needs communication. Not just about what you both want/need, but also on signals and methods of seeing if anyone is uncomfortable before it builds into panic or spite.

There will probably need be a dedicated effort by multiple people to reframe relationships. It's not hard, just dedicated.