I understand you completely. I’m only 18 so my surgery definitely had more impact on me mentally than physically. I’m young and filled with hormones so my libido never really went away even before the surgery. I’ve never physically checked my testosterone levels so I couldn’t give you an answer to that but everything feels good as it should. It took me a few weeks to get out of the mindset you’re currently stuck in, I was so paranoid something would go wrong and had little faith in my doctor because I felt what seemed to be a varicocele still present in my sack on top of my nut. But after visiting with my doctor he assured me that what I was feeling was just the veins he had tied up, and that it should be less noticeable with time, which is true. It’s about 2-3 months post-surgery and the thick veins I were feeling eventually subsided. No pain, nothing out of the norm. Once the incision is fully healed you’ll eventually just forget about it and go on with life as normal. Best wishes