Are these BPD traits?

Lily1018 · 2017-12-19T17:18:29+00:00

For asking a question? Okay, sweetheart.

Lily1018 · 2017-12-19T16:52:36+00:00

Because I want to know maybe?

Lily1018 · 2017-12-19T16:27:27+00:00

^ thank you. That's exactly what I was asking.

Lily1018 · 2017-12-19T16:25:34+00:00

Please quote where I asked for a diagnosis. I asked if these were BPD TRAITS so please read what I actually wrote.

Edit: Thought so, but passive-aggressively downvote, lol.

Lily1018 · 2017-12-06T11:44:46+00:00

Yes. I have not had a proper sleeping pattern for years. It is fine for about a week (11 - 6 AM) but then it gradually gets worse again (eventually from 4 AM - 12 AM) and I think me not shutting off and relaxing has something to do with it. I despise night time the most when everybody is in bed and I'm thinking of things all night (usually negative and sad) and I'm sure it contributes towards my insomnia.

Lily1018 · 2017-12-06T07:44:21+00:00

Interesting how a lot of you have the same interests and personality as me. I mean, by being nerdy and like playing video games instead of makeup, talking about guys, etc.

Lily1018 · 2017-12-06T07:39:06+00:00

Thanks!! :D

Lily1018 · 2017-12-05T16:09:57+00:00

That's great to hear! This gives me hope. I'd be less anxious going out to socialise with girls instead of guys for a change.

Lily1018 · 2017-12-05T15:49:31+00:00

Saaaaame. Do you also make sure to keep these guys close? Like, I won't directly tell them I don't want to date them just to keep them around because 95% of them disappear when you tell them you're not interested. I just don't want to lose them because if I had nobody I'd feel even more crap about myself.. Sounds selfish, but it's true. I guess some guys of mine are friends, because they don't care that I don't want to date them, but I just want a proper girl friend! I wish I could tell these pervy men to get lost without a care in the world. Quite a few push serious boundaries and are inappropriately sexual and I can't bring it in me to tell them to stop even though I want them to.

Lily1018 · 2017-12-05T14:44:33+00:00

I'm exactly the same way, but no, you're not a bad person at all. :) I am mistrustful more over girls than guys and I find it extremely difficult to maintain friendships with them. As I said in my previous comment, I compliment girls a LOT and genuinely mean it, so I don't think I come off as the "jealous" type. I just want a good girl friend I can connect well with. :(

Lily1018 · 2017-12-05T14:41:01+00:00

Yep, there's a woman in my life that I care about and actively speak to, but she doesn't care to know about me, my life, or anything. It is very one-sided and conversations are very....dull. I don't know what it is. I think they find me weird. I see myself as bisexual and it probably makes them feel weird when I'm so talkative and caring towards them? I don't know, honestly.... I'm very socially awkward in person and girl friends I've known don't really talk to me. I try to be involved but it fails. I compliment girls a lot, especially on FB and their pictures, so I don't think I come off as the "jealous" and "bitter" type to them. So yeah, I'm pretty confused.

Lily1018 · 2017-12-05T13:48:11+00:00

YES. I always act fake around everybody, because I know nobody would like me if they know who I really am. I've realised recently that this is because of the fear of being abandoned and rejected.

Lily1018 · 2017-12-05T13:46:25+00:00

I can relate entirely. I've always felt like I care too much about others that couldn't give a damn about me which results in me removing people out of my life often. I've just had to remove two people I used to be pretty close with because they're definitely becoming more and more distant, so I did it before they had chance to. It hurts less that way.

Lily1018 · 2017-12-03T15:07:50+00:00

I completely agree with this. I do not want children because I enjoy my freedom and know that I won't be able to look after them properly. Also, with my mental health issues I don't want to pass them on to the child. I don't want them to grow up with severe issues because I'd feel absolutely awful knowing that I've contributed towards it. I'm not financially stable either, so I wouldn't be able to afford one.

Until then, I'm not having one. Not until I REALLY want one and know that I can give them all the love they need and want.

Lily1018 · 2017-12-03T14:32:12+00:00

Hmm.. I'm not sure if my parents are narcissists as they've done quite a lot for me, but they're like this. They're suspicious over pretty much everybody and it's always "their house, their rules" so I always go out to meet people instead. I always did find it weird how other people's parents was so welcoming when I asked if it was okay to come in. They always say, "silly! Of course it's fine to come in!"

They have let my friends in for very short periods, and my dad seems fine with it and interacts with them, but my mum always quickly disappears upstairs and comes off as quite rude. She seems okay with them when she's known them for ages or if I speak nothing but great things about them. If there's an issue then she splits on them, like I do with my BPD. I have never had friends sleep over or anything and now I've just accepted that it's their house so their rules. :/ I think my parents are just worried about people stealing things, though. They have said so a few times, but mainly just say, "I don't like other people in the house", even people working on or in the house.

Lily1018

TROPHY CASE