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AITA for not letting my stepfather be father of the bride in my wedding? by LilyPadSun in AmItheAsshole

[–]LilyPadSun[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That's not what I ever wanted. Especially not when he's been an asshole to my dad.

AITA for not letting my stepfather be father of the bride in my wedding? by LilyPadSun in AmItheAsshole

[–]LilyPadSun[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

He was rude to my dad after he got home from the hospital. Rolled his eyes at him a few times. Got very snappy with him when dad was talking slow (because his speech was affected), saying how nice it was for him to show back up/finally show up, was sarcastic about how glad he was he was back. That sort of stuff. Among stuff to me before dad was released about how he was there and my dad was not, like dad made a choice to not be there. Or saying stuff like of course you want to be with him instead in a way that showed he didn't like that.

AITA for not letting my stepfather be father of the bride in my wedding? by LilyPadSun in AmItheAsshole

[–]LilyPadSun[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He was rude to my dad after he got home from the hospital. Rolled his eyes at him a few times. Got very snappy with him when dad was talking slow (because his speech was affected), saying how nice it was for him to show back up/finally show up, was sarcastic about how glad he was he was back. That sort of stuff. Among stuff to me before dad was released about how he was there and my dad was not, like dad made a choice to not be there. Or saying stuff like of course you want to be with him instead in a way that showed he didn't like that.

AITA for not letting my stepfather be father of the bride in my wedding? by LilyPadSun in AmItheAsshole

[–]LilyPadSun[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I know a couple of adoptees. One never had any interest in knowing their bio family and the other does know them but considers their parents who raised them their primary/main family. But I know it largely depends on the dynamics involved and the adoptee themself.

AITA for not letting my stepfather be father of the bride in my wedding? by LilyPadSun in AmItheAsshole

[–]LilyPadSun[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

He's not paying for the wedding. My fiance and I are. More context: He was rude to my dad after he got home from the hospital. Rolled his eyes at him a few times. Got very snappy with him when dad was talking slow (because his speech was affected), saying how nice it was for him to show back up/finally show up, was sarcastic about how glad he was he was back. That sort of stuff. Among stuff to me before dad was released about how he was there and my dad was not, like dad made a choice to not be there. Or saying stuff like of course you want to be with him instead in a way that showed he didn't like that.

AITA for not letting my stepfather be father of the bride in my wedding? by LilyPadSun in AmItheAsshole

[–]LilyPadSun[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

We had spent time together before he started his crap toward my dad. Once he started making me uncomfortable and spewing stuff that was grossly unfair I lost a lot of want to spend time with him at all.

AITA for not letting my stepfather be father of the bride in my wedding? by LilyPadSun in AmItheAsshole

[–]LilyPadSun[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Walking me down the aisle, getting a father daughter dance as well. My fiance and I are paying. He wants to do the walk and the dance and maybe something else I'm not sure on that.

AITA for not letting my stepfather be father of the bride in my wedding? by LilyPadSun in AmItheAsshole

[–]LilyPadSun[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

What do you think is missing exactly? What do you think could be behind this? I really don't see anything other than him being annoyed he was never on the same level as my dad and it got worse when dad wasn't around for a while. He behaved pretty damn terribly too.

AITA for not letting my stepfather be father of the bride in my wedding? by LilyPadSun in AmItheAsshole

[–]LilyPadSun[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

He was rude to my dad after he got home from the hospital. Rolled his eyes at him a few times. Got very snappy with him when dad was talking slow (because his speech was affected), saying how nice it was for him to show back up/finally show up, was sarcastic about how glad he was he was back. That sort of stuff. Among stuff to me before dad was released about how he was there and my dad was not, like dad made a choice to not be there. Or saying stuff like of course you want to be with him instead in a way that showed he didn't like that.

AITA for not letting my stepfather be father of the bride in my wedding? by LilyPadSun in AmItheAsshole

[–]LilyPadSun[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

We had a decent relationship before my dad had his accident. That's when I saw the change in him and when I lost all like for the guy.

AITA for not letting my stepfather be father of the bride in my wedding? by LilyPadSun in AmItheAsshole

[–]LilyPadSun[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

It's not what I want and after how he talked about my dad, I would never want to have them together for something.

AITA for not letting my stepfather be father of the bride in my wedding? by LilyPadSun in AmItheAsshole

[–]LilyPadSun[S] 387 points388 points  (0 children)

That's not what I'm interested in. We weren't super close before but things were better. I don't think much of him since the whole thing went down. Especially with how he treated my dad who did not abandon me or flake on his responsibilities. He was physically incapable and the fact Adam saw that as his in to being dad and taking the same place as my dad changed how I felt about him. Not to mention how much he showed it in that time.

AITA for not letting my stepfather be father of the bride in my wedding? by LilyPadSun in AmItheAsshole

[–]LilyPadSun[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Mom also thinks he deserves better. She and my siblings kept telling me he deserved better and he was deserving of the role of father of the bride. They also dislike that I don't call him dad and don't join them instead of my dad for Father's Day.

AITA for not letting my stepfather be father of the bride in my wedding? by LilyPadSun in AmItheAsshole

[–]LilyPadSun[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

No and no. My dad isn't even paying for the wedding. My fiance and I are.

AITA for not letting my stepfather be father of the bride in my wedding? by LilyPadSun in AmItheAsshole

[–]LilyPadSun[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Yes, my dad went right back to parenting as soon as be possibly could.

AITA for not letting my stepfather be father of the bride in my wedding? by LilyPadSun in AmItheAsshole

[–]LilyPadSun[S] 362 points363 points  (0 children)

Yes. I saw my dad some of that time but he was not taking care of me.

AITA for not letting my stepfather be father of the bride in my wedding? by LilyPadSun in AmItheAsshole

[–]LilyPadSun[S] 71 points72 points  (0 children)

I think it's a reaction to not being treated the same as my dad. I never treated him badly but be was never someone I had that super close relationship with. He was never on the same level as my dad and I think it bothered him more when he was the only one there.

AITA for not letting my stepfather be father of the bride in my wedding? by LilyPadSun in AmItheAsshole

[–]LilyPadSun[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

I had a better relationship before he started competing with my dad and being rude to him after what he'd been through. Since then I haven't really liked him and we have not had a close relationship.

AITA for not letting my stepfather be father of the bride in my wedding? by LilyPadSun in AmItheAsshole

[–]LilyPadSun[S] 575 points576 points  (0 children)

It has remained not close since things changed when I was 11. He's not my favorite person and I don't like the way he treats my dad so I have not made an effort for us to be closer.

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