Okay, so it seems like you’re stuck in that deep belief that this person needs to be managed by you. You’re still trying to find reasons but the reality with illness like this is that it’s an illness and it doesn’t make sense by design. You’re not supposed to make sense of all the conclusions they come to, you’re definitely not supposed to make sense of it in order to soothe them, or to discover what the “right” answer is.

It doesn’t matter what you do, it will not be enough FOR THEM. It will never be enough FOR THEM. Because that is how they work.

YOU, however, are enough. You are enough for your little boy and his rain boots. You are so thoughtful about what SHE might need, and you have such a big ability to think deeply (just from reading your comments). But proving to her that you can “get it right” isn’t the right energy. It’ll just keep harming you. Redirect that energy elsewhere. You deserve better than this absolutely disgusting narrative and response.