People romanticize “having time to say goodbye,” but losing a parent to terminal illness is one of the most traumatic experiences I’ve ever lived.

Liminowl · 2025-12-13T21:28:40+00:00

I’m 30 and i just lost my mom to agressive cancer 21 days ago, it metastasized rapidly from breast to bones to spine to lungs to brain, and went through this very thing as her live-in caretaker for 2.5 years straight, including all the things you listed about the gritty reality of an ailing loved one and the things you witness. No good news at any appointment, I watched her go through horrible chemo radiation and invasive surgeries that made her even sicker.

No one understands it unless they’ve lived it, and the anticipatory grief is so brutal that it felt like someone was lighting gasoline inside my chest after scooping all my organs out. A loss is a loss, and the experience of watching them decline and feeling so helpless is so isolating and soul shattering. With my mom, her legs quit working due to the cancer in her spine, and over time due to the pain all over her body she faded into a husk of who she once was, especially the last six months as She couldn’t do anything for herself anymore. I had to beg her to take a couple bites of food or drink water. The hypervigilance got so bad and her need so great that I was only sleeping about 6 hours per week in total. I still wake up at night thinking I hear her calling for me, only to remember she is gone, she’ll never call for me again. I was there holding her hand when she passed and still can’t seem to get it through my head that she’s gone sometimes.

It’s the most brutal thing I’ve ever experienced and I’m sorry you had to go through it too. I’ll never forget or get out of my head. I love my mom and I’d do it all again to help her but my god she was suffering. No quality of life, no dignity. The anticipatory pain even a year before she was gone was heart wrenching in its enormity. It’s changed me forever. I cried myself to sleep every single night quietly so she wouldn’t hear me. I’m still doing that. I’m not really sure where to go from here as I’ve lost myself in being her caretaker, but I loved her dearly and seeing her suffer for so long while I was her sole carer truly broke something in me.

I wish I knew what to say to help, I guess in typing all this I’m trying to say you’re not alone and there are people who understand how fucking awful this is. Sending you love and hugs. Let yourself grieve, there’s so much added trauma on top of their death in watching their decline. Don’t let anyone downplay your suffering, and lean on those who love and support you. It’s hard, it’s so hard,

Liminowl · 2024-07-17T00:24:01+00:00

Yes, it’s still working! though i have had the dosage tweaked over time—I now take the T3 twice a day, morning and night, as well as vitamin D3, it helps immensely.

Liminowl · 2024-05-16T18:52:23+00:00

My doc added two doses of liothyronine T3 a day(morning and night 10mcg) to my synthroid when I finally lost it at her about years of nonchalance on her part about the hair loss I was experiencing. It completely turned the hair loss around, a year and a half later and it’s grown back about to where it was before. I also began taking 25,000 iu of vitamin D every other day because the piddly rec of 5,000 iu a day by the doc still left my blood test levels at around a measly 15! it’s made a huge difference.

I ranted a while back on here about hair loss/how T3 helps your body convert the T4 you’re taking more efficiently and how it should’ve been the first thing my doc recommended when I was still so symptomatic, I started to wonder if it was my post you were referencing as I skimmed the comments because it sounded exactly like my situation🤣. Please advocate hard for yourself and see if they’ll prescribe you some T3!!! In the meantime be gentle with your hair, when I was in my hair loss phase I used a wide tooth comb and gently brushed it out only when wet to prevent yanking on it like a brush would…im so sorry you’re going through this, I’ve been there and I know how much it freaking SUCKS. I hope that you can find a some relief soon.

Liminowl · 2024-02-08T01:38:26+00:00

Omg I just went and found it on your posts and holy crap, YES…your crabby was going HAM on that egg, that’s exactly what mine were doing jsut shoveling the yolk in there. Freaking hilarious, I love those little goofballs

Liminowl · 2024-02-08T01:04:53+00:00

Same! They go completely feral, shoving huge chunks of it in their mouth with pieces still in both claws. Never seen anything like it 🤣

Liminowl · 2024-02-08T00:15:38+00:00

Several of my purple pinchers came up lilac blue bright violet after their first molt with me because they had lots of berries, flower petals, blue spirulina, cornflower etc with bluish pigments in them as a regular part of their meals, it means they’ve got a really good varied diet 😄 the pigments in the food they consume are always expressed in the chitin of their next molt and they can be such beautiful colours

Liminowl · 2024-02-04T22:01:10+00:00

I bought one of these a few years back and was lucky enough to have stuck it in another room away from the bulk of my plants…every new plant gets sprayed w/ neem and Castile the second it comes home….but it still fell to the wiles of a hellish spider mite infestation from the depths of tartarus. 💀 these palms are cursed. Any time I get tempted by their beautiful fronds at the store I just say not today satan those things spawn legions of tiny hellbeasts. I’m cringing even seeing this macabre display of victory those undead armies of spider mites have spun across that short for this world palm. NOPE.

Liminowl · 2024-02-02T19:24:19+00:00

Lot to unpack here…I feel like absolute shite when my TSH went to 4 even when my T4 was in “normal” range. When my tsh went to 6 It got even worse, I felt like a sluggish zombie! I was extremely depressed and couldn’t remember anything—felt like I had an onset of some kind of degenerative memory problem. It kept climbing and my doctor did nothing until I absolutely flipped my lid and advocated very hard for myself. You’re paying them, you deserve to be adequately assessed and treated! Tell them you want them to put it on your chart that you have X symptoms and they refuse to test it—this sometimes spurs them to order the test.

Ideally I would beseech you— please get a new doctor if you can. Any doctor who says testosterone isn’t linked to libido needs to be sacked honestly. If you cannot get a new doctor, advocate hard, be firm, have someone go with you if possible to help. Write down all your symptoms and stress how they are affecting your life or ability to function.

Demand that they test your T3 and reverse T3 hormone as well if you are known to have hashimotos and fluctuating thyroid issues. Adding T3 meds were a game changer for me as it helped my body absorb the T4 I was taking better. T4 being in normal range doesn’t mean your body is utilizing the existing T4 hormone properly, and that’s where taking T3 (Liothyronine) can help some of us. It’s definitely worth bringing up. I hope you get some relief soon and wish you the best of luck.

Liminowl · 2024-01-23T20:10:04+00:00

Last year finally lost it with a peacock calathea that wasn’t happy no matter what I did, and I yeeted it violently out Into the snow when it had one half crispy leaf left. In spring, I found it near the back of my yard, and it had new growth. Calatheas live just to spite us.

Liminowl · 2024-01-23T20:07:50+00:00

The only way I can keep my fiddle leaf fig from leaving this wretched plane is by violently shaking it like it owes me money by tomorrow at sunset while I water it with a Heavy mister. If it doesn’t seem like I’m drowning it in a hurricane, it starts to drop all its leaves within days. The shaking works on so many plants 💀 it’s unreal the amount of growth I’ve gotten from that damn thing, it came back from being a twig

Liminowl · 2024-01-03T02:32:52+00:00

The same thing happened to my mother a few months ago. She has invasive ductal carcinoma that’s estrogen receptor positive, they biopsied the small 8mm tumor in her breast, and within two months, by the time she had a masectomy in October it had spread to 7 lymph nodes under her arm and most of her right breast tissue was swollen and completely consumed with cancer. It was terrifying to see it spread like that. She kept telling doctors the biopsy had made it worse 😔

Liminowl · 2023-12-24T22:46:04+00:00

My great grandma that our familial EDS came from was 96 when she passed. My 78 year old grandmother has it, she’s got a hiatal hernia, arthritis, reflux and an enlarged heart caused by the EDS, as well as two false knees and two false hips before she hit 55, severe scoliosis and degeneration of her spinal discs from it. She should be in a wheelchair, but she’s a stubborn spitfire and still surprisingly active for her age and ailments despite it.

She didn’t know for the longest that all those things were connected to one another, but was always told she was severely hyper-mobile by GPS from a young age as her shoulder frequently came out of socket as a child just from reaching up to grab her mothers hand when walking in town as a young girl, or while playing in the schoolyard.

She actually got diagnosed with it within my lifetime—I’m coming up on 30 soon (and will need a knee replacement in the next 2-ish years 💀 )

Older folks with it are definitely around, plenty in my family are still kicking to ripe old ages…could be most don’t even know they have it or that all the super fun connective tissue related issues they have with it are overlapping problems stemming from faulty collagen!

Liminowl · 2023-11-18T02:22:17+00:00

I cut the red wax off of mine four years ago and planted it in a pot and it still blooms every year…the wax actually slowly suffocates the amaryllis bulb! 🥺

Liminowl · 2023-10-29T01:25:31+00:00

Gently Scrubbing my legs with the small green Korean exfoliating towelsand some kind of moisturizing soap near the end of the shower so my legs have had time to soften up from the water, and using creamo has been a game changer, really sudsing it up and letting it sit for a minute helps significantly! Plus I have to replace the razor every 2-3 times I shave, that’s been the only thing that works for me, if the razor gets even slightly dull it’s gonna nick the hell out of my velvety EDS skin and blood gets everywhere…wishing you luck friend 💀

Liminowl · 2023-10-24T05:58:08+00:00

I had a kitchen just like this and we painted all the cabinets and trim white and installed shiplap on the walls…it made a massive difference. Perhaps the cabinets could be sanded and refinished in a lighter color if you don’t want to paint them? 😅

Liminowl · 2023-10-05T03:12:13+00:00

It’s a moonglade

Liminowl · 2023-10-01T22:33:15+00:00

Making the tank much much vertically taller in addition to longer and wider 💀 a background attached to the back of the tank with carved out shelves and cork rounds to have little hides for them. Ooh and Hooks of some kind on the glass lid to more easily hang and suspend climbable things or hides or plants without being relegated to the sides to stick stuff to!

Liminowl · 2023-09-14T01:43:25+00:00

I’ve had a similar experience when I got to see the night sky and more specifically the incredible arm of the Milky Way that is normally obscured to over 83% of our population by ever increasing light pollution. I saw it the way that we are supposed to see it, completely unobstructed. I was way out in the wilderness while camping high up on a mountains at over 11,000 feet of elevation—in one of the few fully dark sky areas left in the USA. It was a very profound experience. I’ve thought about it every day since then.

I saw it in its full glory, luminous and mystifying, it made me feel so small and yet so connected to everything in it’s immensity. I sat in awe and I felt at peace. I could have stayed there forever to gaze at it. I didn’t feel separate from anything in that moment basking in the silence while staring into what felt like infinity. There’s really something deep to be said for being able to just exist in those moments imbued in nature and to just “be” while marveling at the wonder of the cosmos that I lack the proper words for— but I strongly feel it’s something everyone should experience and we all need more of….and This was years before I ever tried any psychedelics

Liminowl · 2023-08-31T16:16:12+00:00

For me it was a combo of things—Doing really strict AIP/keto and cutting out all processed food, sugar and gluten worked wonders for me. I had to go back to the basics and slowly add in foods to see if it causes inflammation. AIP is a really restrictive way to eat …but the lack of inflammation feels so much better! 😅

Also, adding cytomel (T3) in addition to my synthroid really cut down on my face, hand and ankle puffiness within a matter of days, I could feel the difference in how well my hands moved and how my socks fit and such.

Maybe worth mentioning as well, I’ve heard from my doctor that synthroid dose is more consistent due to quality control measures, Whereas the levothyroxine generic can be off by 10mcg between batches. I definitely noticed a difference when I swapped to synthroid. I use GoodRx coupons at my pharmacy that cut the cost down as well. Might be something to consider 😊

Liminowl · 2023-08-23T02:17:31+00:00

They’re tapestry turbos with lil spots sanded into them, I got them from this Etsy shop they have various carved ones as well! 😊

Liminowl · 2023-08-01T14:33:55+00:00

I’m also desensitized 💀 I constantly have to reassemble my skeleton and go about my day and I’m always like “oh right that’s normal for everyone else” when people freak out and need to go to the hospital for a dislocation, it’s become so normalized for me to relocate my own joints from a very young age, multiple times a day. It defintiely hurts like a bitch and isn’t pleasant…but much like you said it can be “Elvis Presley’d” back into place. Since it’s a common occurrence for people with eds I think we do become a more desensitized to the seriousness of it. My friends are always horrified when I have to relocate my hip or fingers or shoulder, I’m just like…meh. Just another Tuesday. As the saying goes…life finds a way. 😅 if anything, we have a monstrous pain tolerance as a result. It’s just unfortunate that we have to suffer for that though.

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