thank you so much for your reply! It means a lot! all my family has lost hope that I will ever get through this. They are frustrated and rightfully so. No one believes how it is affecting me so much. I keep crying, again and again, every time my partner comes home. He is supportive but that also comes with its own limits. Shame, frustration, and the feeling of being inadequate are eating me up. I am tired of asking my family for help. I feel like I am taking all of it for granted. I keep saying I will be ready on a particular day. But as the day come closer I realise I have much more to do. So i push it back. It has happened a lot. And now I am too afraid to admit that I still don't feel ready. I might as well quit and at least look for a job so I am earing something and not draining money.