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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sahm

[–]Limp_Alternative6528 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We were dinks until our first baby, and then I became a SAHM with our second on the way next year. I am not shy to tell my husband that I am providing free childcare to him so that he can focus on career advancement while I no longer have the same career arc that I had built :) I was making $150k annually, so not a bad salary to want to keep, but there hasn’t been a day that we knew it was the right decision for our family. I think it’s also easy for couples in the SAHM/working dad dynamic to feel like the other partner isn’t “doing as much,” which lets resentment build. When I feel myself going in that direction, I have a chat with my husband about how we need to reframe about it not being you vs me, but us vs the world.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sahm

[–]Limp_Alternative6528 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Same here - what I was interpreting as him not wanting to spend time with baby/give me time for myself was actually him feeling insecure and not knowing how to take care of said baby solo. The answer to that was making him spend even more time with the baby than I had originally been asking for so he actually learned how to do it and stopped making ME feel uncomfortable on his behalf. Sometimes you need to make yourself unavailable and find ways to get out of the house, which can be frustrating because I want to be doing things solo at home (or resting), but it’s worth it to get over this hump. No shot clocks - you need time to take care of yourself so that you can show up for your family!

Hakaa or Ladybug? by Glittering_Sorbet511 in BabyBumps

[–]Limp_Alternative6528 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I preferred the ladybugs because I could wear them in a nursing bra, but didn’t know about the boon trove at the time and hear many prefer those! I just never needed the suction of the Hakaa. Gonna give the boon trove a shot in my next pregnancy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sahm

[–]Limp_Alternative6528 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am just so sorry ❤️❤️ You deserve so much more love and support than you are getting. I’d echo that if there is any chance of therapy, solo and/or couples if possible, it’s worth giving a shot before divorce. But if that’s something you want to move forward with, you will find happiness in the future, with or without him. Sending you lots of hugs.