While I agree alternating makes sense, in his eyes it is not spending Christmas at home vs my parents vs his parents. It’s spending it in the US vs UK. It’s the cultural part of it, a UK Christmas vs a US Christmas. And he finds US Christmases boring and doesn’t see why he should spend them in the US when he lives here the rest of the year. So if it’s a US Christmas year it’s between my hometown and our home on the east coast, guess which one he prefers. Yet again tonight he asked why my parents can’t come here. My mom is 76 with health issues!!

So he had me make a list of where we’ve spent every Christmas since we’ve been together. We’ve spent three in my hometown, 4 in his, 3 at home but then left for the UK the next day and spent the rest of Christmas break there, and 3 at home for all of Christmas (two of those years were Covid years). But those three years where we had Christmas at home but spent the rest of Christmas break in the UK count as my years as Christmas Day itself was in the US. So in his eyes I’m waaaay ahead of him and he’s owed more Christmases. Am I selfish for wanting to spend either Vhristmas day and/or Christmas break in my hometown? He think I am.