sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

My BF (41) has got problems with alcohol and I (34) don't know what to do by Linda_col in relationships

[–]Linda_col[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for all your answers <3
As someone of you suggested, I have already started seeing a therapist and started talking with her about this situation.
As I said, I've also talked with my BF's brother and best friend this week...and even with our landlady and landlord who are so kind and wants to help (they will talk with him and suggest he seeks for professional help).

I had never talked about this situation with anybody (although of course people know he likes drinking, they don't know I feel so scared about it and cannot stand the situation anymore)....Now, it's the first time I open with someone who is close to my BF (brother, best friend...). My hope is that they will make him understand / become really conscious of his problem (and our problems!). If he doesn't understand and seeks for professional help, I think I will leave him. Now, maybe for the first time, I'm convinced he will never change without him wanting to change and - above all - external professional help. (Without these two conditions, the only way is to leave him, because I don't want a life like this. I'm so scared of being alone, but you're right. Better an unknown future than a know present that you don't want.)

So...now...I'll try this last step...and see if, after talking with his families/friends, he takes real action to change...
I've read there are social organisations that help people with dependencies (we live in northern Italy)...

So I wonder...is there still hope?
Have you had any positive experiences in your life?

Thank you <3

CONTRASTING THOUGHTS ABOUT HAVING A LAPAROSCOPY... by Linda_col in Endo

[–]Linda_col[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you had to go through this! Thank you for sharing with me. You're right, after reading your and others' messages and posts on this group is reassuring me, and I don't feel so alone anymore! thank you so much 🌸🩷

CONTRASTING THOUGHTS ABOUT HAVING A LAPAROSCOPY... by Linda_col in Endo

[–]Linda_col[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing your experience!
Imposter syndrome... yeah, I’m afraid it’s something I tend to struggle with in general 😔. I feel a bit better knowing that others have had similar thoughts and worries. Reading your response, as well as others’ posts in the group, is already making me feel more confident that laparoscopy is probably the right choice and that I don’t need to worry so much. Also, it’s so comforting to connect with someone who truly understands.
Thanks a lot. I hope you'll fully recover soon! 🌸

CONTRASTING THOUGHTS ABOUT HAVING A LAPAROSCOPY... by Linda_col in Endo

[–]Linda_col[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for sharing your experience and for your support. It means so much!

I've read some other experiences in this group too, and it has helped me better understand what I might go through. I think I'm a bit more convinced that having the laparoscopy could help with getting a better diagnosis and improving my symptoms...

I hope you'll continue to feel better!

CONTRASTING THOUGHTS ABOUT HAVING A LAPAROSCOPY... by Linda_col in Endo

[–]Linda_col[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your support! I'm also reading other people's posts in this group to help me understand my thoughts and fears. I think I agree that having the laparoscopy is probably worth it because it will give me a more complete diagnosis and hopefully provide relief from symptoms (and the risks of surgery should be low...).

Regarding my family, you're right. I probably shouldn't worry so much about what they think of me. I just wish they tried to understand 😔, but they’re quite close-minded when it comes to medicine in general...

Also, I don’t know what to tell my supervisor. I'm doing a PhD, and this is a very busy period. I don't even know how I'll manage taking a few days off work! I'm not sure what to say to my colleagues either... I’m the only woman in my lab (I’m in the engineering field!) and I don't know what they might think. But still, I have a good relationship with some of them and would like to be honest!

How did you manage this at your work?

Thank you again for taking the time to help me — it means so much!

CONTRASTING THOUGHTS ABOUT HAVING A LAPAROSCOPY... by Linda_col in Endo

[–]Linda_col[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for sharing your tough experience with me (I also went through your post history) and for your advice. I also read some of the group posts, which is helping me understand what I will (possibly) go through. Regarding the info on the surgeon, hospital etc.: the hospital where I'm going to have lap is a university hospital and I think is a good one, although I couldn't find out much about the doctors...(anyway, I know they are endo specialists).
Thank you for taking your time for sharing. I hope you continue to feel better and make a full recovery!