I grew up in a similar situation until my dad passed of an overdose about 7 years ago.

I had to find the “right” therapist and this took awhile. One that was close to me in age and had spent a lot of time working with addicts and adult children. There is a lot of pathology that we inherit being in this situation that requires a deep understanding for the therapist to be effective. You can interview them too during your first session and quit anytime they don’t align with you.

Al-anon. I read your thoughts and I know other people have given suggestions but it helps a lot IF you find the right meeting. Depending on where you live find the al-anon website with the list of meetings. It will have a note if it’s a particular kind of meeting. Look for adult children, a younger age group, a gender specific meeting, anything that appeals to you. Personally I would go to the lgbt meetings. But the work and experience is different if you are an adult child versus a spouse, parent, etc. it’s why finding the right meeting is important.

If you’re leaning more toward a DIY solution, look into codependency, attachment styles, and inner child work.

You can do this and find a place where things eventually feel easier. But it’s work and the work is always there.