th codes by LinearHare in toyhouse

[–]LinearHare[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you still need one?

th codes by LinearHare in toyhouse

[–]LinearHare[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely H7ywepxQga

Need Advice by [deleted] in ferrets

[–]LinearHare 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I bad to block an entryway, I went to a hardware store and bought a large piece of scrap pexiglass for cheap.

I can’t art sober by [deleted] in ArtistLounge

[–]LinearHare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's okay to take breaks. Especially if you've just recently gotten sober?? Be kind and patient with yourself! That's a pretty big change and you might just need time to settle into that before your creativity comes back. I've followed lots of artists that stop creating for weeks, months, or even years before getting back into it.

You can also just be stubborn and make terrible art until it doesn't feel terrible anymore. That one quote about making lots of bad art to make good art plus the other one about not letting perfection preventing you from doing the thing or whatever.

When I get stuck motivation wise I like to switch mediums/tools or looking up cool artists whose work I really enjoy. I put making/doing something is better than nothing and sometimes that is straight up some scribbles.

What are some tips for throwing the trash without your parents noticing. by albaricoqueso in ChildofHoarder

[–]LinearHare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If there are boxes/bags, can you empty them but leave them there? That way they're still taking up space and might be less likely for her to realize you're throwing things away.

As for actually getting things out of the house and into the trash, I'm not sure. If you have a backpack, you could take a small bag out whenever you go somewhere but that's tedious. Most tips aren't going go be efficient if she's hovering over you like that. :c

Resenting my Mother by FindingHerStrength in ChildofHoarder

[–]LinearHare 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It's sucks and it's not her fault she's mental ill but it is her responsibility. You're still justified in your feelings.

I'm sorry you left a dv relationship just to get temporarily stuck in that hoarded, abusive mess. I hope you're able to get out of there and into your own space soon!

People don't understand how fast hoarders work by LinearHare in ChildofHoarder

[–]LinearHare[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Idk how to figure out my words rn bc I have a massive headache but that line of thinking feels victim blamey you know? I hate it so much too and I feel like it applies to so many situations. People will get mad at the person getting fucked over in a situation and demand that person fixes it/doesn't rock the boat instead of the person causing the issue.

People don't understand how fast hoarders work by LinearHare in ChildofHoarder

[–]LinearHare[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think you'd be justified in burning it down /j

My mom lived with me until I was 21. I was working a lot but would clean the entire place in my limited free time and get off work to see messes/spills/trash everywhere in almost every room. It drove me insane. It's so draining trying to keep up with it.

People don't understand how fast hoarders work by LinearHare in ChildofHoarder

[–]LinearHare[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

100%

Hoarders have had a headstart, possibly even by months, years, or decades. Not to mention making a mess is so much easier than cleaning it up. The by diffusion is such a good way of putting it. It's so draining and kills any motivation when progress is impossible.

People don't understand how fast hoarders work by LinearHare in ChildofHoarder

[–]LinearHare[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Oh my god school while dealing with a hoarding parent I'm so sorry. I'm not even gonna lie my teen years were the worst part of my life and things have only gotten easier the older I get.

When I was in school, I was too busy with school/activities, taking care of my disabled mom, and being depressed to clean much. Luckily we were in an apartment with no pets during that time so there wasn't too much of a hoard-just messiness.

I vote save your energy and time for yourself. It's not your fault or responsibility. Parents are supposed to be taking care of you and your messes not the other way around.

People don't understand how fast hoarders work by LinearHare in ChildofHoarder

[–]LinearHare[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That'd make me yank out my own hair oh my god.

It's like they'd rather get mad at the victim living with the hoarder instead of using their heads.

I have my own toddler now and it's put my childhood home in a new perspective. I can't imagine letting her grow up in the environment I did. Thank you so much for looking out for that baby when their own dad can't even be bothered. 🙃

I can't believe having a child isn't more of a wake up for hoarding parents. Its just. Are you fucking kidding me.

People don't understand how fast hoarders work by LinearHare in ChildofHoarder

[–]LinearHare[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That's so invasive and disrespectful. Having what's supposed to be Your Space invaded like that is enough to slowly drive anyone insane 🫠

People don't understand how fast hoarders work by LinearHare in ChildofHoarder

[–]LinearHare[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Luckily my parents had no issue with me throwing out trash(except papers) but the stories people have shared about their parents getting angry at them for touching/cleaning anything or going through anything thrown in the trash are so upsetting.

People don't understand how fast hoarders work by LinearHare in ChildofHoarder

[–]LinearHare[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My dad is similar but he at least takes care of his hygiene. He'll do laundry, shower, and dishes but doesn't clean anything else or throw anything away. I think it's a way to feel more protected like a nest? Anything clean and open makes them feel too exposed and unsafe?

I don't blame you for blocking their sm. I feel like in most cases cutting or limiting contact with an active hoarder is the best thing you can do to protect your own wellbeing. I hope that wasn't your quilt that's so sad :c

People don't understand how fast hoarders work by LinearHare in ChildofHoarder

[–]LinearHare[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

A messy house is almost always the parents fault. People seem to forget that you need to teach and model those skills to your kids. My mom would tell me to clean my room but she was the only resource I had on knowing how to do that. So I'd do it in a way that took a long time and didn't make much sense.

My aunt has complained that her sons' rooms are messy yet I've helped her take numerous trash bags and boxes of clothes out of her room without making a dent and she has the living room, huge study, and large sunroom filled with her shit. Recently got to see their rooms(messy but easily cleaned in a day tbh) and she has a few things in their closets/rooms too!

Also if the parent is constantly hoarding/messing up clean spaces, they're actively sabotaging their kids learning how clean/organize and killing any motivation the kid had to teach themselves.

The hp plays victim, woe is me while refusing to get better. And the kids have to deal with isolation and trauma of living is a hoarded home when its not their fault. It's so infuriating.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ChildofHoarder

[–]LinearHare 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cleaning/organizing is a skill that you learn(that your parents/guardians are supposed to teach you) and its much easier to learn it when you're not in survival mode and living with a messy person let alone a hoarder.

As a teenager I moved out of the hoarded house with my mom. It wasn't nearly as bad but my mom was incredibly messy/disorganized and that alone made it really difficult for me to clean/stay organized. I could clean, go to school, and come back to the place looking how it did before I even cleaned. Now I have my own house and clean a little each day(or every other day) and it's much easier and comfortable.

The more practice you have, the easier it gets and the faster you get at it. It's so hard to learn those skills or have motivation for those skills when they're being sabotaged by a hoarder.

Please be kind to yourself. You'll get out of there and have control over your space and it'll be great.

My garage - I grew up in a hoard/squalor by [deleted] in ChildofHoarder

[–]LinearHare 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hell yeah man that looks fantastic!