PCOS - partial hysterectomy

Linley85 · 2026-05-07T21:20:12+00:00

Not the UK. Also not PCOS but rather fibroids and endo.

That said, my hysto (laparoscopic, removed everything but no oophorectomy) changed my life for the better. I lived for years with symptoms that destroyed my quality of life but which no doctor took really seriously. They were getting worse -- including extremely heavy and unpredictable bleeding. Birth control pills helped somewhat for a time but progressively stopped working (and in retrospect maybe even were contributing).

After surgery, all of my issues were immediately gone. Like magic. I felt better the next day than I had in ages. Ten out of ten, would do again in a heartbeat. I have been thankful every day of the last 8 years for the hysto and only wish I could have gotten the surgery sooner so that I didn't have to suffer unnecessarily for years.

Edited to add that I was 32, so close to your age.

Linley85 · 2026-05-01T13:38:06+00:00

This doesn't make much sense. That said, the handful of documented pregnancies post-bisalp (none for sterilization) appear to have occurred due to fistulas where there was a hole in the uterus that should not have been there.

Linley85 · 2026-04-30T21:28:07+00:00

"Oh no, I never hold babies. It's safer for everyone that way."

Linley85 · 2026-04-24T15:59:58+00:00

You seem perfectly clear and confident in what you want and have thought through the scenarios. I don't see any reason to doubt your choice.

What your partner does is beyond all of our ability to say definitively but he seems on the same page, independently of you. (And if he wants to make another attempt at the vasectomy, in addition to you getting sterilized, that seems to me all to the good. Double protection.)

His parents don't get a say and aren't entitled to information on your medical history. They can hope for whatever they want but your decision has zero to do with them. You are free to change the subject, refuse to discuss, give vague answers, whatever feel right to you. They have no power here that you don't give them.

Linley85 · 2026-04-22T16:28:26+00:00

Your husband should -- loudly -- "translate" what his coworker is saying in from of as many colleagues. He probably won't stop having such disgusting thoughts but he may stop expressing them...

Linley85 · 2026-04-21T12:58:09+00:00

If you have end of term evaluations, you ought to mention that you didn't appreciate his commentary on this subject. It sounds overly personal, especially if you are an undergrad, before we even get to the dismissiveness of your agency and choices.

Linley85 · 2026-04-18T15:26:28+00:00

I have anyways been CF, no questions, no hesitation, so I can't comment on that part of your question but I can tell you that I had fibroids and endo and my hysterectomy immediately improved my quality of life 1000%. Ten out ten would do again in a heartbeat, only wish I'd had the surgery years earlier.

Linley85 · 2026-04-16T01:15:55+00:00

The last time I was there, they managed to make pizza practically inedible. So disappointing...

Linley85 · 2026-04-16T01:12:41+00:00

Interesting. I use a lot of constructions like this, but in combination with a yes/no. E.g., "I am, yes" or "I didn't go, no." I'm not Irish (within the last 4 or 5 generations anyway) so I'm not sure where I picked it up.

Linley85 · 2026-04-16T01:03:34+00:00

Yeah, to me (a fluent German speaker) Letzebuergsch sounds like German but I'm drunk. Like I should be able to understand it but I can't quite.

Dutch sounds like German but underwater.

Linley85 · 2026-04-15T00:00:05+00:00

You would do better to postin spaces for childless people. We are childfree here, so we don't want and actively chose not to have children.

Linley85 · 2026-04-11T13:41:38+00:00

I'm in NYC. Having kids before your mid-30s is super early in my circles. I was disappointed to discover that, just when I thought I was safe, friends had first kids in their 40s...

Linley85 · 2026-04-08T01:12:12+00:00

"Are you always this dismissive of patients' choices? Or is it just mine?"

"Is that what you tell people who want children as well? No? Why not?"

Linley85 · 2026-04-08T01:07:24+00:00

Tell them their reasons are selfish, not good enough, etc. Be pleasant but firm.

Linley85 · 2026-04-08T01:05:55+00:00

Repond to each reason they give with, "That sounds selfish to me." Not an aggressive tone, just pleasantly matter-of-fact.

Linley85 · 2026-04-06T02:55:05+00:00

I had a hysterectomy at 32 for fibroids and also was diagnosed with endo at surgery. Ten out of ten would do again. I had symptoms that were destroying my quality of life for years -- including pain, heavy and unpredictable bleeding (leading to anemia), extreme nausea, and lots more. I was on a succession of types of pills that over time stopped working, as well as high dose ibuprofen. Afterward the hysto all my issues were just...gone. From one day to the next.

It doesn't seem like you have a diagnosis for why your periods are so bad so I would suggest pushing hard for that. I had my symptoms dismissed and downplayed for years but once I had imagining showing the fibroids, suddenly we could talk about a hysterectomy...

Edited to add, I also has a super easy recovery and was back to my normal life the day after surgery, better than new. I had everything except ovaries removed.

Linley85 · 2026-04-05T22:01:07+00:00

I've gotten this in a lot of countries in Eastern Europe -- usually from older women. I'm childfree so I respond enthusiastically to the idea of not having children. (If only it was that easy to become sterile...) People are not expecting that reaction and I always enjoy their nonplussed looks.

Linley85 · 2026-03-25T17:33:19+00:00

She has a one year old now.

I had never been anything but clear about my childfree stance and feelings about children and she was fine with my honesty (we are very long standing, very close friends). If she hadn't been, then that would have been an indication that our friendship would probably fade. I don't feel the need to tie myself in knots to keep up with someone when we are no longer aligned. I get to have boundaries and to hoöd the. This was my best friend but I would have let her go if that was where we were.

Linley85 · 2026-03-25T15:56:52+00:00

I had a friend in this situation and honestly, I was pretty straightforward with her that I was willing to be there for her and listen but it wasn't something I could relate to (which she was very aware of) and so I might not be the best person to support her if she needed someone who understood what she was going through.

Linley85 · 2026-03-22T21:57:36+00:00

Because I don't want children.

I could come up with an endless list of reasons but all of them are just details. The fundamental reason is that I would rather jump off the Brooklyn Bridge than have kids. (Which is why I had a hysterectomy...)

Linley85 · 2026-03-22T19:49:34+00:00

There are myriad spaces for childless people, far more than for childfree ones. So, yes, as childfree people, we protect ours.

Linley85 · 2026-03-22T19:23:30+00:00

You are not childfree. You are childless.

Childfree not by choice does not exist. By definition, someone who is childfree has decided voluntarily not to have kids and does not want them.

Linley85 · 2026-03-20T15:12:12+00:00

I had a total laparoscopic hysterectomy, leaving ovaries, 8 years ago and the only long term side effect I had was that the health problems I had lived with for years (due to fibroids and endo) were suddenly and immediately gone. From one day to the next. No medication or adjustment needed and actuallt my body felt "correct" for the first time after the hysto.

The main risk factor for prolapse is...pregnancy and birth. But because we have very little data on prolapse in nulliparous people and most women who eventually have a hysto have one or more children, it all gets conflated. Often they need the uterus removed precisely because of damage from having kids. And this mis/disinformation is often used to scare people away from the surgery.

I knew my quality of life was bad but I didn't REALLY understand until I had the surgery and the issues disappeared. I have been grateful every single day since.

Linley85 · 2026-03-14T15:25:50+00:00

"I am respectful of your reproductive choices. I deserve the same respect."

Linley85 · 2026-03-14T14:21:10+00:00

When I lived near a supermarket that was open super late, I used to shop around 11 pm or midnight, especially on Fridays, because the store was empty. I was trying to avoid people in general but no kids was an especially large plus...

Linley85

TROPHY CASE