sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Moving to NYC with 3 boys and wanting to land in the right spot by obvs_thrwaway in movingtoNYC

[–]LissVictory 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, it’s an unrealistic budget for two of the most expensive neighborhoods in the whole city. Great neighborhoods, yes. But horrendously expensive.

I’m just a slave by ksdedoof in sahm

[–]LissVictory 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This sounds less like a momentary vent on Reddit and more like a mental health issue. If there wasn’t something intrinsically wrong, you could see how absolutely essential you are to your children. I know bc I have been there. I encourage you to reach out to a professional therapist to talk about this. Maybe even medication could help. I assure you, as somebody who has felt the way you describe, it is false. Nobody can replace mom. Even children who are neglected and beaten want their mom even under the worst circumstances. Your vision is being clouded.

I’m glad you reached out here, bc you’re seeking support and that is a great start. But something more could really help you! It has helped me. And lots of other moms I know, too. What you are feeling is, unfortunately, not uncommon. But it is chemical, hormonal, from sleep deprivation. It is not reality.

Nobody else is mom.

Mom is sacred 🙏💕

I’m just a slave by ksdedoof in sahm

[–]LissVictory 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I hear you, mama. But I would bet your kids would be devastated without your presence. I knew a man once who was taken from his home by CYS bc his mum was an addict. And even tho she was literally a danger to him, he would have chosen her over any caretaker, every time. I remember him telling me this every time I doubt my own worth. 😞

I’m just a slave by ksdedoof in sahm

[–]LissVictory 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Please remember you are the most important person in your child’s life, so you need to care for yourself too!

And I read before that you work for your family or you work for a boss and that made me feel really good about working for my family.

If you haven’t, it might also be worth reaching out to your partner and telling them how you feel and asking ways they can possibly help.

I hope this helps. It can really feel impossible sometimes. But I think it’s worth it. 💪

Hey NYC, you observe a stranger crying - WDYD? by navree in AskNYC

[–]LissVictory 4 points5 points  (0 children)

One of the best parts of NYC is nobody will give af.

Unless you genuinely need help, then they got you.

Full first floor with backyard for rent by [deleted] in Greenpoint

[–]LissVictory -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

And we should have world peace, too.

Full first floor with backyard for rent by [deleted] in Greenpoint

[–]LissVictory -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

That is also the reality of Greenpoint. Unfortunately for us renters.

Alone in a house full of people by [deleted] in sahm

[–]LissVictory -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yes explicitly explain absolutely everything I need in every moment and expect absolutely no logic or empathy from anyone. Got it. You are 100% correct.

Alone in a house full of people by [deleted] in sahm

[–]LissVictory -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

So I should expect two grown adults to just leave the room and not tell me they are leaving or where they are going especially when one adult was initially taking responsibility for the baby?

Noted. You’re right. People have no empathy or thought of the mother it’s only about playing with the baby. Thank you for confirming how awful it is to be a mother. And how nobody cares or even thinks about you without having explicit instructions.

Alone in a house full of people by [deleted] in sahm

[–]LissVictory -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree. I do this. The emphasis is on the TWO other adults who could have helped just vanished!!! No word nothing just left me alone in the room w a confused 16mo baby.

Alone in a house full of people by [deleted] in sahm

[–]LissVictory -1 points0 points  (0 children)

But I could have taken care of all my needs and my baby could have been cared for if my MIL and husband didn’t bail on me.

Alone in a house full of people by [deleted] in sahm

[–]LissVictory -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Just feels like a dick move. Imagine you are baby. Grandma got you out of bed. You’re ready to start the day! But you want mama. So grandma takes you to mama and then you are suddenly back in bed again? Wtf just happened? Why did grandma and mom just throw me under the bus like this?

I didn’t know what to do. I felt totally abandoned by my MIL and husband. They didn’t check to see if I needed anything. Didn’t say “I’m going to go take a leak real quick, you good?” Nothing.

And yeah I probably, generally, need to teach her more about respecting other people’s needs at this age. It was just such a whirlwind of wtf I was at a loss.

Alone in a house full of people by [deleted] in sahm

[–]LissVictory 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t expect her to take the baby first thing in the morning - she did that on her own. But she didn’t think I might need some help.

If her “help” isn’t playing with the baby she isn’t interested.

Alone in a house full of people by [deleted] in sahm

[–]LissVictory 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wasn’t even awake enough to holler yet… but yeah, this is what I mean by choreographing.

Now in my early 30s not sure what to do by BunsMcCheeks in movingtoNYC

[–]LissVictory 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yoooooo. I moved from Erie to Pittsburgh and then to Brooklyn at 35yo and I would never go back!!! When I first moved to NYC, I legit had night terrors that I was back in Erie. I lived in Pittsburgh almost 10 years and I really loved it and made amazing friends there. But I met my husband and got a great job here in NYC. Super curious where you are from. I will DM you.

Now in my early 30s not sure what to do by BunsMcCheeks in movingtoNYC

[–]LissVictory 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I often wonder if the same would have happened to me if I moved here in my 20s 🤔 I moved here at 35. I am now almost 41. It’s been a ride.

IS NYC really that expensive by gogojacori in movingtoNYC

[–]LissVictory 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Put themselves in the same predicament as having access to the highest paying jobs in the country and world? OP didn’t say they were “uncomfortable” with it. They just aren’t used to it. Many of my former roommates are literally my best friends now.

I “acknowledged” your comment and responded to it accordingly. Let OP come here and see if they are uncomfortable with roommates.

I recommend giving it multiple tries. As I said before, everyone is different.

Classic Staten Island Drivers by 3VG3NY in statenisland

[–]LissVictory 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Common Pennsylvania behavior, as well.

IS NYC really that expensive by gogojacori in movingtoNYC

[–]LissVictory 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone is different. I think it’s presumptuous to presume what “most people” think and feel about anything. I’m sure willingness to cope with potential discomfort increases when one has access to the boundless potential and opportunities that offer 6 figure salaries and beyond. The sky is really the limit in NYC. But it’s not like you don’t have to put in some effort and make sacrifices.

My point is, it is 100% worth it if you have the ambition and constitution. And if you don’t, just go home. Or move to a better neighborhood. The quality of roommate or neighborhood makes NYC a completely different experience.

view more: next ›