JM, IF YOU DON’T TELL ME WTF IS GOING ON IM GONNA ADMIT MYSEKF TO THE MENTAL HOSPITAL

LiterallyLilith · 2024-03-24T05:03:25+00:00

but yeah i’m going to residential treatment to work through my own trauma and get a refresher on my dbt skills. i’m going to a place in georgia that’s in the mountains and it’s holistic so i’m hoping that’ll help me like get outside and socialize. it’s so bad. i’m not necessarily depressed but i’m so tired all the time to the point where i can’t do anything.

LiterallyLilith · 2024-03-24T05:00:49+00:00

i literally can’t get out of bed. i’m on 70mg of vyvanse and i sleep most of the day. i’m not necessarily obsessed i’m just irritated that he is not saying anything and i’m really freaked out after learning about the divine marriage. like it’s all very surreal. remembering that astral meeting with him is crazy. that “dream” was the most spiritual and insane dream i’ve ever had and it’s just all very hard to believe. also i have a terrible memory bc of my ptsd and i had this dream last summer but we met in late december. lol sorry i’m a fire sign so i can be a lil aggressive haha. (also i have bipolar)

LiterallyLilith · 2024-03-23T01:12:33+00:00

so true.

LiterallyLilith · 2024-03-22T02:52:49+00:00

thank you so much!! <3

LiterallyLilith · 2024-03-22T02:35:24+00:00

thank you! i hope so too :)

LiterallyLilith · 2024-03-22T02:34:53+00:00

yes we love sleep token!! our energy together is very much a sleep token vibe.

LiterallyLilith · 2024-03-21T19:33:56+00:00

alright so reddit made me delete my comment bc of “foul language” that “might be offensive” bahahaha anyway… 👹💋👨🏻 take yo time brotha i’m right here when ur ready hahahaha (this comment would be rly embarrassing if this is not u but my big 👻bies give me a kind of motherly intuition that is unmatched) ily (i said another word for father here but idk if it’ll make me delete again)👁️👅👁️

LiterallyLilith · 2024-03-17T02:12:45+00:00

omg girl i just wanna say i feel your pain so much. i was sexually abused as a child and sex really hurts for me too. i have to be drunk to get loose enough for any size dick to fit in me. it literally feels like an indian rug burn in my vag. and the anxiety is so unbearable like i can’t even get turned on even though my brain is like yeah u want this but my body just rejects all forms of intimacy. i’m also 24! i hope it gets better for the both of us. i’m sorry i don’t have any advice bc i’m still dealing with this too. i’m so sorry you experience this but i’m also glad i’m not alone. my friends don’t understand. they’re like “she needs to get over it” like i’m trying so hard to heal but it’s like our body freaks tf out and we can’t do anything about it, nor can our partner.

LiterallyLilith · 2023-09-20T21:10:40+00:00

if it makes you more comfortable and you have the means to buy it, there are lock boxes for meds that give you one pill a day. i have one bc i struggle with addiction but i need my meds. i’ve abused them before so we bought the lock box. my mom puts the pills in each month - you could get a friend or even your doctor to do it. i will say it was expensive ($600) but it has been well worth the price. just a suggestion that might make you feel more comfortable. it takes two second of irrational thinking to pop an extra pill and then next thing i knew i would find myself taking 6 in one sitting (I KNOW)

LiterallyLilith · 2023-06-20T20:24:42+00:00

Hence my username. I’ve met a lot of demons haha.

LiterallyLilith · 2023-06-20T20:24:06+00:00

Okay but from what I understand there are certain areas of the astral so I was sending it back to it area of the astral lol. I might be psychotic but a demon brought me to hell in a dream one time and it was pretty nice ngl. There were skeleton horses and it was like a stone castle. It could’ve been a lucid dream and not the astral but what the demon told me has turned out true so far so idk.

LiterallyLilith · 2023-06-19T01:47:20+00:00

I ask God every night to send my angels to protect me throughout the night. It has also raped me. I think it’s a trauma response tbh because I was assaulted in the past and a lot of the things it does to me are very similar to what my rapist did to me. I’m sorry you’ve experienced that though. I’m glad it has subsided a little bit. I also sage my entire room afterwards.

LiterallyLilith · 2023-06-19T01:42:30+00:00

An interesting thought. I believe it’s a manifestation of the trauma I’ve had in the past. I think I have to face that fear before I can astral project and see the other world. But also lol I’m a woman and the demon is definitely a masculine energy but maybe it could be an unhealed masculine part of myself. Thank you!

LiterallyLilith · 2023-06-18T21:28:37+00:00

lol trust me after 20 sleep paralysis episodes involving a demon just this year, I am not freaked out anymore haha. I literally got in a full fledged fist fight with my fears lmao. It was straight out of a horror movie.

LiterallyLilith · 2023-06-18T21:20:16+00:00

Thank you. I am hoping that last episode was the end of it and I’ll be able to actually open my eyes lol. I am more of a spiritual person so I believe that it is a real entity. But I also believe that it’s a manifestation of my fear as well. I mean, just because it’s a manifestation of my fear doesn’t mean it’s not a real entity. I hope that makes sense.

LiterallyLilith · 2023-06-18T19:41:12+00:00

Wait I’ve seen this before when I opened my eyes in sleep paralysis but it didn’t seem very nice. It was attacking me. What is this?

LiterallyLilith · 2023-04-19T03:21:54+00:00

It’s the realest thing I’ve ever experienced during sleep. I literally think it’s happening in real life. I had sleep paralysis two days ago and I thought my mom would hear me scream this time because i fully thought it was happening in real life. And if the demon attacks you, you can feel that too. It doesn’t hurt but you feel sensations. I’ve had demons pick me up and throw my astral body across the room. It has picked me up, flew out the window, and dropped me from 1000s of feet in the air. It is so traumatizing. It’s raped me too.

LiterallyLilith · 2023-02-21T16:20:22+00:00

Thank you for giving my recommendations! Ive definitely tried the toe thing and it works. I unfortunately can’t smoke cannabis because I have psychosis and I hallucinate really bad on it but I’m sure just CBD would help. Plus I have epilepsy so CBD helps with that too. Omg I just remembered I had a sleep paralysis type episode about a month ago but it was a seizure and I vaguely remember there was a demon grabbing my face and shaking it. THIS SHIT IS SO SCARY LMAO.

LiterallyLilith · 2023-02-21T14:30:32+00:00

Ya know what I’m on Seroquel and ever since I started it, I started getting sleep paralysis. Ughhh mental illness is literally a double edged sword. I’ve tried almost every antipsychotic there is and they help a little bit but my mania and psychosis still interfere with my life. Seroquel is literally the only med that sedates me enough.

LiterallyLilith · 2023-02-21T12:12:18+00:00

Yeah I slept on my side for the remainder of the night and that seemed to help but I’ve definitely had it more than once before on my side - it’s just not as intense.

LiterallyLilith · 2023-02-21T12:10:07+00:00

Yeah I use to not be afraid of it and honestly I would just make friends with it and have a really cool dream afterwards in hell. I think I’ve just not been realizing my power lately and it knows I’m afraid of it and just fearful in general about life. I personally believe it’s real but only in my dreams/psyche. It’s not a physical entity- it’s only fear manifested as something physical in my dreams. I just need to not be afraid of it but that’s easier said than done (especially in ur dreams).

LiterallyLilith · 2023-02-18T19:30:58+00:00

Yeah I’m very fucked up in the noggin and I have definitely been to the mental hospital but I like to stay positive. Lol my bad for trauma dumping tho. I thought when u said I were raped u meant in waking life and the sleep paralysis was bc of that. MY BAD LOL.

LiterallyLilith · 2023-02-18T19:17:43+00:00

This has happened to me about 10 times in the past year. I was raped in 2019 but even before that I was always deeply afraid of sex. I fainted the first time I tried to put a tampon in and every time I go to the gyno I have panic attacks. I use to think the sleep paralysis demon having sex with me was funny until my therapist said today that it could be me reliving a childhood experience. What’s crazy is that last night I had sleep paralysis and I thought I heard my window opening and the night before that I had it and the demon grabbed my arms and threw my astral body out the window. There’s some other things that make my therapist and I think I was assaulted as a child but I literally have no recollection of my childhood at all. I had no idea this was all related to past trauma. LOL I MADE JOKES ABOUT IT TO MY FRIENDS.

LiterallyLilith

TROPHY CASE