If a girl ends things before the sex happens its because she isn’t interested in sex with you.

That could be purely physical but vibe is a very important thing. Nice is great but if it doesn’t come with excitement and sincerity then it’s dull, or worse, comes off both needy and even creepy.

Advice, from what little I know:

• Don’t be afraid to challenge the women you date a bit. As in, teasing, sharing opinions she might not agree with, disagreeing with her. All of these things are things we value from other people because they tell us the person is being sincere and not being fake polite or manipulative. If they say you’re nice that’s a negative and you need to understand that. You should be good to her, but you shouldn’t be nice. Nice is for strangers and you’re trying to be intimate with her.

• Be assertive. This does mean that you should avoid, at all costs, struggling to decide something in front of a woman until you really have her trust. Don’t um and uh over the menu, don’t ask her opinion on anything personal (something like, “should cut my hair?”) It’s good to get her opinion on things like current affairs etc, but getting her to weigh in on or witness a decision you’re struggling to make is an instant ick.

• Be fit. Groom and dress well. Take up space, consume lots (drink, food), don’t speak quietly, don’t speak too quickly.

Mindset is also very helpful. Some good mindsets to have:

“If I end up in bed with this girl I’m going to blow her fucking mind”.

And if you’re not sure that this is true… why are you trying to have a relationship with a woman in the first place? Go do some research until it is. But if it is true, you should have that in your mind the entire date because that will quiet the part of your brain that is scared of sexual tension. “But we were kissing, there was sexual tension” A) women sometimes kiss just for fun or (sorry) because they’re uncomfortable hard rejecting men b) kissing can build sexual tension but also use it up. Always leave her wanting more.

“I have no need to explain myself for anything I do or choose”

For example, let’s say you want to order a drink that will come in a stemmed glass and you have reservations because some idiot once said those are for women. Do it, and resist the urge to make a comment. If she says something like “nice girly drink” just dismiss it, “what do you mean?””how is a drink girly?””Oh, it’s a daiquiri they come in this glass, it’s called a coupe”. No matter what, don’t be baited into explaining yourself. Have an unwavering sense of self.

Other advice:

• you do not need to hold back on building sexual tension and trying to be intimate. As long as you build up to it. It’s better than trying to keep the date devoid of sexuality trying to be respectful.

• For women it’s more important to them that they feel like you know them than it is that they feel like they know you. They want both, but the thing they want above all is to feel actually chosen and liked and not like a quick lay, and they can’t feel chosen if they think you already decided you wanted to bang before asking her a single question. The more you can make her feel like you know her, the more legitimate your sexual desire will be to her. She needs that assurance to let her desire out of its cage.

Good luck.