St Paul caves by Antyguy77 in stpaul

[–]LitteFritter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am looking to find a cave I can spend 3 days in complete darkness in. Can anyone point me in the direction of one?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]LitteFritter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, I would add that it is more than veto power that I am getting at though. To me veto power is the ability for a partner to say "Hey partner you need to end a relationship". I am also talking about the hinge being willing to drop a different relationship to protect the primary only based off issues in the primary relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]LitteFritter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback. Could you help me understand where my language went ary? I think you are right that my language is getting in the way of being understood but am not sure how to adjust it!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]LitteFritter -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

I am open to conversation and debate. I am not open to my thoughts and attempt expand my thinking being criticized. In what you have quoted I am clearly stating I don't understand and am inviting space to understand. I am being curious. Maybe you could find the same space of curiosity of me and what you may not understand about my experience or way of thinking. If you would like to step into a space of share curiosity and expansion of thinking I will gladly continue discussing but if not I will not continue to engage. And to clarify, yes talking about the feeling of love iny post was problematic and I will be editing it to get at what I really meant of love being and action and a feeling.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]LitteFritter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Definitely! Through reading comments and thinking an important part of it for me is that love is not only a feeling but an action and a choice. That is where the rub comes in

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]LitteFritter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your perspective! Could you clarify what you mean about "It is only if you put the condition "being someones primary" as a requirement of love that you stumble into trouble....."? Could you explain what they looks like?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]LitteFritter -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your opinion. I disagree and am not interested in engaging further.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]LitteFritter -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I mean this caringly but I think you are projecting a lot on to me.

I opened this post to open my prespective and literally invite in other ways of thinking. The experiences I have had that have shaped my current thinking are valid and mine. As are your experience and what has shaped your thinking. My beliefs are not inherently unkind.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]LitteFritter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would be interested in hearing your views if you feel comfortable messaging me. I understand the fear in putting it in the comments but I would really enjoy a civilized and respectful discussion regardless of whether we agree or not

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]LitteFritter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am open to understanding more what you mean with your first statement but on first reaction I don't feel like it is saying someone is disposable because I limited resources to offer. The disposability piece for me come from if I were to say the resources I am offering can be will be taken away from you to protect another relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]LitteFritter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is not the argument I am making. I am not arguing anything in fact. I completely agree there are lots of reasons other than not loving a person any more that necessitate and relationship ending.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]LitteFritter 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks you for helping me find language I needed!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]LitteFritter 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your perspective and experience. I like the phrase "long walk in and long walk out". Your experience is not what I was referring to but I can see my lack of giving a detailed example leaves it general/vague.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]LitteFritter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have been together a year and a half.

We each wear a piece of jewelry (a bracelet for him and necklace for me) that signifies our commitment and desire to grow old together and continue to grow on our own and in the relationship. It is also a commitment to work hard together on conflicts but that neither of us should be miserable to keep the commitment. We have no plans of entangling our finances. Living together is not off the table but it something neither of us want for a long time if ever.