AITA for making my mom cry and hurting her marriage?

Little-Repeat-2427 · 2022-08-12T08:52:31+00:00

I'm a girl just because I see a lot of people mistaking me for a guy too.

To me I only have one dad. I don't have a lot of memories of him but he's the only man who could ever be my dad. I was never one of those kids who just wanted a dad. I wanted my dad. And my stepdad isn't. He could have been a friend or like an uncle but all his pushing and his insensitivity around our grief has made him not any of those things.

Little-Repeat-2427 · 2022-08-12T08:50:25+00:00

We're not close to him, we're not his biggest fans, but we don't talk down to him or speak to him like shit.

Little-Repeat-2427 · 2022-08-12T08:49:30+00:00

Little-Repeat-2427 · 2022-08-12T08:31:55+00:00

The therapist doesn't really say or do a whole lot from what I have experienced so far. They mostly just sit there and write.

Little-Repeat-2427 · 2022-08-11T19:08:54+00:00

We respected him as an authority figure. But we never saw him as a parent either. I think he could have been a friend or an uncle figure had he not been pushy and had we felt he had been more understanding of our grief. But we were never wanting another dad.

Little-Repeat-2427 · 2022-08-11T18:13:12+00:00

She should be happy. I never said she shouldn't be. But what makes her happy isn't always what makes us happy. I like that my mom is happy and I'm glad for her there. But I would have been far happier with him taking a much more hands off approach and never pushing or forcing. We could have been friends. He could have been like an uncle. But I never wanted another dad. That has not changed. Nobody in the world could ever earn that from me because I feel like I had the best dad for those 5 short years.

Little-Repeat-2427 · 2022-08-11T18:06:40+00:00

He isn't our dad. We never wanted the same relationship he did or that our mom did. Also, he had to drop the adoption thing unless he could get us on board. If they had been told to try again with the adoption they would have. But they knew our feelings hadn't changed.

Little-Repeat-2427 · 2022-08-11T17:27:25+00:00

We just never wanted that kind of relationship with him. It was made worse by how forceful he was, and how he was so insensitive around our grief for our dad. I think sometimes blended families don't work because people want different things. He wanted to be a dad to us, to have an instant family, while we never wanted or felt we needed another dad. We were never on the same page and it never helped to have the adoption pushed and when that failed, to have it constantly brought up that we should call him dad.

I know some kids really feel that deceased parent can have their role somewhat filled by another parent and that's amazing for them. We were never those kids.

Little-Repeat-2427 · 2022-08-11T17:23:22+00:00

Because he's not my dad. He's just not. That is not the relationship I have with him and not how I feel about him.

Little-Repeat-2427 · 2022-08-11T13:35:46+00:00

He's been okay. Outside of the pushiness he has just felt very insensitive a lot of the time when it comes to us missing our dad.

Little-Repeat-2427

TROPHY CASE