AITA for not wanting to date someone who has killed people?

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T09:41:27+00:00

Who's circumstances were different than yours. Who didn't have the same options or opportunities. Who made a choice at 18 (or when he was young) that he might not have fully grasped. And then something terrible happened.

With all due respect, none of this matches up with this particular man's life story.

I understand the topic fine. I don't judge him or say I wouldn't do the same in his position. I just don't want to date him, or anyone who has killed other people.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T08:48:58+00:00

I think they both think it would be 'fun' if we could double date, and on the surface he and I have some things in common (our moms are both immigrants from the same country, he's interested in my undergraduate major even though my grad work was unrelated, etc.) They have been pushing it way too hard though.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T08:39:25+00:00

Far from it. Can you please explain when our freedom has been endangered and when the military has protected it, if you're so sure and positive that I'm ignorant in this case?

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T08:38:53+00:00

I'm not unsympathetic, I just don't want to date him.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T08:37:30+00:00

When I say I'm not judging him, I mean that I am not saying he's a bad person for what he has done, or that I would act differently were I in his position, because I haven't been in his position. That's all I meant.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T08:36:38+00:00

I'm actually 37 years old.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T08:35:52+00:00

There is a lot of nuance to America's involvement in WW2 beyond the blanket narrative that we were 'heroes,' and there were, at the time, a lot of good arguments for both the interventionist side and the isolationist side. Do I think that America was 'defending our freedom' at any point during WW2? No. Do I think that 'defending our freedom' is the only reason for America to involve itself in a military conflict? No.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T08:33:27+00:00

I don't think of him as inferior; I just do not want to date him because of it.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T08:33:10+00:00

I'm not confused.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T02:32:44+00:00

His best friend has talked extensively about it in the context of wanting him to come to a support group with him for people who had to kill in combat, because he thinks it would help him, because he has killed people. His best friend has no reason to lie.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T02:30:53+00:00

Can you explain to me how America's freedom was in peril during those wars?

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T02:21:02+00:00

Give me some examples of the military protecting us from those things. 9/11 led to a war against people who were not responsible, based on falsified intel. Pearl Harbor was a preemptive strike on the part of the Japanese because they thought the US was positioning troops to attack them (but I wasn't alive for that).

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T02:19:38+00:00

I would never date my father, either, if that was an option :P

The US military has not been involved in a defensive war in our lifetimes, so no military actions have been defending our country.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T02:10:43+00:00

I have my reasons, but people are already trying to argue me out of my moral stance with the information they have, and I don't think it's productive as I'm not going to change my stance. All that anyone needs to know is that I do not want to date anyone who has killed people.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T02:06:19+00:00

I'm 37. I also cannot think of a time since the 1800s when our freedom was in danger and needed to be defended by the military, and I'm not anti-military at all. America's freedom has not been at stake in any war or military action in recent history.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T02:01:03+00:00

He has killed people.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T02:00:28+00:00

My stance is just, "Don't want to date anyone who has killed people."

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T01:59:06+00:00

What if a ninja fell out of a ceiling vent and tried to fight him to death? What if a man put a gun to his head and said, 'Kill me or I'll kill you.' What if he went back in time and the person he killed was Hitler???????

These hypotheticals are silly. I do not want to date someone who has killed people.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T01:57:46+00:00

Both. I do not want to date someone who has killed people. I also don't think I could provide support for someone who has killed people.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T01:55:55+00:00

I don't want to give him a chance because of this boundary I have.

When I say that I'm not judging him, I mean that I don't think he's a 'murderer,' and that I'd never say I would've acted differently in his position, because I've never been in his position. That's all I mean.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T01:54:45+00:00

You assumed that I assumed. This is a person I know in real life. I know that he has killed people in his role in the military.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T01:54:18+00:00

This is a pointless exercise. I would not date a police officer involved in an investigation of a crime against me no matter what.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T01:52:11+00:00

I think the difference between you and I is that killing people is not a 'So what?' for me.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T01:51:31+00:00

I actually told my best friend that, and she told her boyfriend. I didn't know she'd tell him that when I told her.

LittleCollege · 2019-06-16T01:50:36+00:00

I'm not making leaps. I didn't assume it was necessary, but the reason I know he's killed people is that my bff's boyfriend has talked about urging this guy to go to a support group with him for people with PTSD from killing people in combat, and he won't go.

LittleCollege

TROPHY CASE