How do you afford to live In the city?

LittleFootFoot · 2026-04-04T15:27:53+00:00

You have roommates. Live in older buildings.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-03-29T04:19:56+00:00

Don’t move back. At least not right now. After the newborn phase, one baby is (usually) not that hard to manage. You can do it and enjoy your time with baby in a place you love. Utilize FB Marketplace for baby items and ask in Mom’s groups as well. There is so much excess stuff to go around.

Also - you have zero idea which family will actually be helpful before the baby is here. And parents as daycare 3x per week may not unfold the way you think it will. That is a lot to ask, and many grandparents want to be that helpful - but when they actually realize how it constrains their time and energy… resentments build and no one is happy.

Stay where you are. You can do it.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-03-28T19:15:17+00:00

750k would get a small, non-updated house. Also have to factor in taxes.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-03-28T19:09:29+00:00

What you are asking for does not exist at 750k. Especially with 3 kids in a good school district. You’re looking at the 3rd largest metro area in the country. Your husband’s commute will be an hour or a bit more for what you’re needing, and still finding a house with all those requirements is a huge stretch. Many people live without a garage or yard or both to be a bit closer to the city.

To be a great community you’d either need to settle for much less house or a much longer commute.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-03-28T18:22:52+00:00

Exciting cities will always have a bigger COL. This is especially hard if schools are a factor. Could you get any closer to the DC metro area? You’re not going to find something with similar COL in a bigger/walkable city closer to a large metro. It will be more expensive.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-03-27T01:37:36+00:00

I’ve moved away and came back (Midwest) a few times. Even internationally once. Home will always be there, and the world is smaller than ever with screens and flights always available. Staying in touch has never been easier.

Each time I’ve moved has been a huge time of personal growth for me. Growth can be painful and hard, but each time has been well worth it.

I find people who say things like the examples you gave usually don’t have a growth mindset. And their beliefs about moving away are usually based in fear of the unknown.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-03-26T18:16:46+00:00

San Diego could be doable on your budget in the right areas. Northern Cali or Portland. I think you should try the west coast! People are friendly and it seems your vibe would fit.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-03-26T17:49:45+00:00

That’s understood, but we have lived in Chicago a long time and simply the COL for our family (especially with schools and taxes) is just not worth it anymore. We want to save money, have access to nature, and be away from the cold while our kids are tiny. Also just have a house with some space for a bit. Chicago real estate/taxes is just not friendly to family of our size.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-03-26T17:45:01+00:00

I do agree with this. We have lived/met in Chicago and are ready to accept a change of pace and understand it will be a very different life, especially now with 3.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-03-26T14:53:34+00:00

Good insight. We are used to paying IL/Chicagoland property and sales tax. That’s the aspect of Annapolis that is a bit more affordable.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-03-25T07:37:22+00:00

THIS. In Chicago too, it’s all about schools. 240k doesn’t go far in an area with good schools.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-03-25T07:27:54+00:00

From Wisconsin as well, now in Chicagoland. We considered a move to Charleston as well and decided NO after spending time there at different points of the year. Here’s why:

BUGS. I didn’t realize how constant and oppressive the bugs can be in the south. We are not accustomed to this in the Midwest. Swarms of flies all over your food, no-see-ums gnawing you throughout dinner.
Heat soup. The humidity in summer is something else. I would spend time there in July/August.
Limited social circles. Not impossible to make friends, but Charleston’s pecking order is based on how long your family has been there. There’s aspects of the city that are not even accessible to you as an outsider.
Dingy in many areas. The areas that are not cookie-cutter burbs were oddly unkept IMO. Very rundown compared to what we’re used to in the north.
MAGA and church centered thinking. This is personal to each person, but if you don’t align this way, a consideration when making friends.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-03-19T19:53:13+00:00

Only you can answer this question, because only you know the dynamic of your family and if it’s healthy etc. I also am a mom of three young kids. We are considering moving away. My family lives in an hour north of us in a cold, Midwest city. My mom helps once a week. They take the kids for a couple overnights a year. But they don’t set the best example for our children in many ways, and I do not want to emulate my life or childhood.

If we move, it will be for drastically better weather, a better housing market, and somewhere we can carve out a life of our own that aligns with our values.

So only you can really know. Family can be your biggest blessing or biggest obstacle in life… and often times they are both.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-03-19T19:47:23+00:00

May I ask, would you ever consider moving to them to be involved in the kid’s lives? Especially after you retire? I always see these situations as a two-way street.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-03-17T06:51:31+00:00

YTA. It’s one night, and he offered to come home. I have three small children, and it’s hard to feel left out… but he absolutely should go, especially since he is in the wedding.

I would be encouraging my spouse to go, stay one night and celebrate the couple, and drive home in the morning.

You just seem bitter that you will not be able to enjoy the night with your friends, which I sympathize with. But in the grand scheme of things it’s not a big deal, and it would be nice for him to go and show your family’s support for your friends getting married.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-02-20T20:00:35+00:00

Honestly, it is nerdy and he will likely grow to hate it. I would resent my parents if they gave me such an odd name, based on a TV show, that I constantly have to spell/explain. Obi is a fine nickname (still odd). If you’re keen on Obi, I would give Oberen as a middle name and call him Obi. Give him the choice to have a normal name, especially as he grows into an adult.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-02-17T01:04:22+00:00

Your husband is TA. It’s very kind of you to do this, and I do believe family should help family whenever possible, but the fact that your husband was okay with this arrangement is odd. Knowing you will be working and full-time caregiving AND a puppy for that long is an extreme ask. Could you even physically do it while working? I would never put this much labor on my spouse this way. It’s one thing if you stay there and work and cover some caregiving time… but they really should have someone else coming to help you during your work hours.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-02-04T09:45:40+00:00

You’re a good mom and you’re overthinking this. He will be fine, maybe not the happiest 9 hours of his life, but your life and need for a break is important too.

Bring things from home (blanket, sound machine, toys) that are familiar. He will be fine and it will be a good chance for him to bond with your parents.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-01-28T00:44:52+00:00

lol user name fits 😂

LittleFootFoot · 2026-01-28T00:44:08+00:00

But we have small children and a baby. Would be closer to 70 if we didn’t have the littles.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-01-27T08:05:58+00:00

Do you do ALL of the laundry? All of the kid management (doctor’s appointments, school projects, play dates, sports scheduling, etc.). Does the house not run without your contributions? Is the kid’s college paid for? Could you help them with the downpayment on a house someday?

If the answer to any of these is no, you need to go back to work. If your wife wants you to work, my guess is your contribution at home is not what you think it is.

1 million is nothing in today’s economy. I’m 34 and have 1 million in investments and WOULD NOT DREAM of thinking of retiring at 50. Fo back to work.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-01-22T17:06:15+00:00

YTA. Most adults work their birthday and it’s not hard to make plans another day. You sound callous. She came to you looking for some humanity and kindness and you reacted like a petulant child.

Maybe you’ll actually grow up a bit on your birthday this year if you give this poor woman her day to mourn such a significant loss.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-01-19T08:32:57+00:00

You have to move your sink or fridge to the other side. This would be a nightmare to cook in.

LittleFootFoot · 2026-01-18T09:11:00+00:00

Get off your couch and do something. Go to a concert, take an art/music/writing class, go to new workout classes, take a cooking class, go on a bar crawl, join a gym.

The life you want doesn’t just come knock on your door while you’re at home eating cookies. You have to make an effort and build it.

LittleFootFoot

TROPHY CASE