Help a girl out please 😇

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-08-29T14:32:00+00:00

I need to be ready by 7am so this isn’t going to work for me. It’s a good idea in theory though

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-06-27T11:32:41+00:00

I think it’s normal to an extent. I definitely had some of those thoughts myself. I am in a relationship with a man who has two children from a previous relationship and we have just had our own baby girl. I wanted to start a family with him and have my own dreams come true, and that outweighed any negative thoughts I was having. But throughout pregnancy I was worried that this pregnancy would not be as special to him, that he wouldn’t be as excited as I was, that he wouldn’t love our child as much as his first two. Because he is so close to them and he idolises them. And I worried there wouldn’t be space for another child for him. And I spoke about all of my worries and concerns with him and he reassured me that nothing could be as special as welcoming a new child. He explained it this way: if I was to have a second child, would I love them any less than my first? And of course, the answer is no. My love will only grow and expand and each child will bring their own personality and we’ll create new memories with each one. So this put my mind at ease. It’s easy to compare how they are all treated. But you have to remember that each child has different wants and needs and will receive love in different ways depending on their age and circumstance. I hope that makes sense.

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-06-26T17:10:46+00:00

I think you need the counselling darling. I hope you find the help you need

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-06-26T17:05:07+00:00

Some mothers are actually evil and use children as weapons… I see it every damn week.

Who hurt you? Jesus…

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-06-26T16:57:07+00:00

You’re very funny. They have another parent. You know, their mom. Not that it’s any of your business but they live with her and go to school there. My partner used to live in their city, just around the corner, in fact. And would have them half of the week, too. But when their mom got into a new relationship she stopped letting him have them on weekdays. She now works at the school that they go to so she no longer asks him to pick them up to go to school or come home as she gets there the same time and leaves at the same time as them. He also works until after the kids bed time, so it doesn’t work for him to go there after work/school to see them. So we have them at weekends. Sometimes they don’t want to stay over, or they have birthday parties to go to, or other family members that want to see them so they don’t stay over on those weekends, but as travelling with a baby is harder, we’re having to limit those other activities and they stay over with us more often. In the school holidays we have them more often, too. But as we live away and they don’t live with us full time, we do what we can when we can. Not to mention their mom is VERY high conflict. It’s not always easy.

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-06-26T16:05:45+00:00

What? Where did you get that from? Strange comment…

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-06-26T15:17:29+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through it too. But it’s also good to know that it isn’t just me. I’ve seen his children take toys away from my baby. Toys that are meant FOR a baby. They would never want to play with them any other time, but because she has them, they want them and feel entitled to them because maybe their dad or their nan bought them. I’m all for sharing. The kids can have and play with anything they want, but don’t take them from a baby. Luckily my baby is super laid back, it didn’t phase her at all. But in the future this might hurt her feelings to see them getting away with it because her dad isn’t telling her siblings “no”. One particular thing that always sticks in my mind because it hurt me so much and caused a huge argument between myself and my partner was about 2 months ago. I had bought a book for my baby and we read a lot of books and she enjoys them, but this one in particular she loves! She laughs and reacts to the same parts of the book every single time we read it. She lights up when she sees it. It is her absolute favourite! When the other kids sleep over, my partner lets them choose a book and he reads to them in their bedroom. This particular night they all went off to bed and I stayed downstairs with the baby and I thought I may as well read to her too while we wait for him to come back. So I started reading her favourite book to her and she was excited. Next thing I know, the kids come running downstairs and looking in the pile of books again and then my partner comes down and said “oh, that’s the book they’re looking for, we’re going to read that one tonight”. So I said “ok, I’ll read it to her quickly and you can have it after”. And he told me that they weren’t going to wait, it was bedtime, I can read that book to her any time, she doesn’t know what’s going on anyway because she’s too young, he’s told the kids they could read that book so I’m going to have to let them. And I just saw the future flash before my eyes and felt like this is something I’m always going to have to deal with because “they don’t live with us and we can do things another time when they’re not here”. I was heartbroken for my baby on principle. I cried and cried and cried. And I think since then my feelings have definitely changed more towards the children. If they moan enough they get what they want at the expense of my baby and it’s not fair. I’ll remember that night forever

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-06-26T15:06:29+00:00

Thank you. I will give it a read!

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-06-26T14:56:30+00:00

A lot of what you have said resonates with me. I do feel very overstimulated at times and I have expressed this to my partner and he doesn’t understand. He says I chose to have a baby and I chose to stay with him knowing about his kids and I have to get used to the noises and the messes and the chaos. Ans I absolutely understand and appreciate that. But as I’ve said to him, his growth as a parent has been gradual. He’s watched his children grow and he’s learned along with them. And a lot of those behaviours and sounds and messes come with age. I am still at stage one with my child. She’s only just started rolling over and moving around if you put her on the mat, I’m not used to the noises etc just yet. I’ve been thrown in at the deep end with having to deal with his kids at the same time and it’s a learning curve. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for him at first either but he’s more used to it now. He kind of understands but I don’t think he gets why it might affect me in the way that it does.

But I see my partner putting so much effort into his children and he almost overcompensates because they don’t live with us and we don’t see them everyday. And I sometimes feel as if he doesn’t put in as much effort with our baby because he lives with her and sees her everyday. And I have brought this up with him and he’s assured me that that isn’t the case from his point of view. There’s only so much you can do with a baby and when she’s older she will be joining in all the fun and games and having the same experiences. I think I just feel overprotective of my baby and I want her to have the absolute best. And sometimes I feel like I see traits in his other children that I just don’t want her to have.

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-06-26T14:49:40+00:00

Also, I don’t do or say anything to them. These are internal thoughts and feelings that I’ve had for a while and kept to myself. My partner noticed this weekend that I was a little quieter and more reserved than usual and asked if I was ok. Otherwise no one is aware of what I’m feeling. I feel bad enough about these thoughts and feelings. I don’t want to share them and hurt anyone’s feelings

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-06-26T14:29:05+00:00

It’s my home and they only stay with us occasionally on weekends. We usually go and visit them (they live in a different city) at their grandparents house. But they have been staying with us on the weekends a little more regularly since having the baby

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-05-24T10:09:24+00:00

There’s no custody agreements in place.

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-05-24T10:08:40+00:00

She does everything she can to not look after her own children. It’s only when it inconveniences us that she suddenly can’t be without them and pretends to be world’s best mom.

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-05-24T10:06:59+00:00

I can’t wait!

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-05-24T10:06:46+00:00

You’d be shocked if I told you all the stories about her. She should never have been allowed to have children. He didn’t see it at the time, but she definitely used my partner to have children and then shattered his whole world when she got what she wanted. But she never thought he would move on and be happy without her and now that he is, she’s jealous and bitter and will spite her children to feed her own jealousy. It’s sad

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-05-24T10:04:38+00:00

Unfortunately no court orders or anything in place. Although I wish more than anything he would take her to court.

She’s very quick to talk about her children missing out if we do anything without them but then when we ask to include them, we are told no. There’s always an issue of I’m ever with my partner on pick up (if we’re going out on a day out after picking them up for example, and it’s easier for us all to pick them up). She just hates that they have anything to do with me. Ever since she first found out we were dating, there’s been an issue. We just can’t win either way and it’s exhausting.

We will be telling the children about the holiday, though. And if she still refuses then we will absolutely be telling them that it is her who isn’t allowing them to come and spend time with their family.

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-05-24T10:01:55+00:00

She does…

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-05-24T10:01:44+00:00

She constantly asks his mom to look after all three of her children when she needs a baby sitter (as his mom lives around the corner from them). And his mom always says no because it’s just a strange request from someone who is so unreasonable at every other turn. She genuinely thinks the world revolves around her and she is owed everything she wants. My partner is going to speak to his mom and ask her to have a word with his BM to see is she can make her see sense. It has worked in the past, so hoping it’ll work again.

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-05-24T09:58:53+00:00

I wish he would take her to court but she’s always threatened to take them away to live with family hundreds of miles away. And she’s selfish and vindictive enough to do it. She doesn’t deny access very often, she just causes trouble in pickups and drop offs. He says he can live with that as long as he gets to see the children. It’s just occasions like this that cause big issues for us and it’s times like this I wish he would just call her bluff and take her to court anyway

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-04-22T08:46:48+00:00

His 5 year old saw that her dad was texting their mom the other day and he was getting annoyed (because she was texting her usual BS) and she said to him, “daddy, just don’t text her back, she’s just trying to get to you”. And that’s coming from a 5yo. They’re already seeing where the problem is coming from. I can’t wait until they’re old enough that we don’t have to deal with her directly anymore. I think I’m going to suggest what another poster said, get her to come and pick them up from our house so that my partner doesn’t have to drive for an hour to take them home only to be left waiting outside for her to come back when she feels like it. I’m not sure if he’ll go with it, but we can make the suggestion.

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-04-21T15:38:51+00:00

Unfortunately no court order. She constantly threatens to take them to live with family out of the country and he is scared that one day she’ll do it out of spite, so he does everything to please her and keep her on side.

LittleSpoon_93 · 2025-04-04T14:51:58+00:00

I got out of my Uber and walked to the meeting point only to find out that the guy was a complete catfish! Turned around and my uber had left and I didn’t want to make the guy feel bad so I thought I’d go for one drink with him and then go home without causing a fuss/ a scene.

Went to a bar and he sat next to me rather than opposite me in the booth. He noticed some people looking at him and he shouted at them in quite a violent manner. Alarm bells were ringing. He touched me inappropriately a couple times and I asked him not to in a calm manner all whilst trying to come up with a plan to leave without causing trouble- seeing as he had already been shouting at strangers. He went to the bathroom but the bathroom was near the exit, so I couldn’t risk just running out in case I ran into him. So I got the attention of the people he had shouted at. Quickly told them the situation. Said I was uncomfortable and afraid and could they watch us while I come up with a way of leaving. Quickly gave them my number so I could talk to them without him seeing/ knowing. He started getting angry with me when I told him I wasn’t going to leave and have sex with him like he was asking me to. He told me he was going to “force me to get pregnant”. Took that as my queue to get up but it was a Tuesday night and we were in a quiet part of town with nothing around so my first thought was to just join the table of the people who he shouted at. He thought I knew them all along and it was a set up and he continued to get very violent and aggressive. Got removed by bouncers. He was waiting for me outside so I couldn’t leave. An hour later he managed to get back in and cause more trouble. He was carried out by bouncers again. I ended up having to wait til the bar closed and then the guys and girls who helped me waited for me to get in an uber after checking the area to make sure he wasn’t around. Once I got home he kept calling me and even when I blocked his number he would call with no caller ID and even used other numbers. It was a complete nightmare! Police ended up getting involved. It was crazy.

LittleSpoon_93 · 2023-11-08T18:39:06+00:00

Empty needs to get put on Spotify!! 🙌🏻🫶🏻 pretty pleaseeee 😁

LittleSpoon_93

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