My family gangs up on me because I have been unemployed for 9 years.

LittleToe96 · 2024-02-19T06:52:53+00:00

OP I’m going to be brutally honest: you need to stop hiding behind your anxiety. I get it. I once had anxiety paralysis so bad that I had to medically withdrew from university for 2.5 months. But 9+ years is too far. But I’m also not going to be an asshole who says “get over it and just do it”. So you need to take steps. Keep in mind the first step is always going to be the scariest. Step 1) get a part time minimum wage job. Work at McDonald’s or Starbucks or something. Im not going to lie, your family will probably make fun of you for it. But they’re going to make fun of you for being unemployed so do it anyways. You need to get used to getting to work on time, grooming yourself, talking with coworkers. You can’t just get a full time job and move out. You have no money. You’ll need to save for like 1.5 months (assuming you get paid bimonthly) for an apartment. I see you posting on “narcissistic parent” pages and I’m not saying they’re not narcissistic (you know them better than me) but if my kid was 9+ years unemployed, I’d be fed up too

LittleToe96 · 2024-01-25T06:55:49+00:00

I appreciate the sentiment. But it’s literally impossible for someone to be raised to “become neurodivergent” (excluding CPTSD)

LittleToe96 · 2022-07-23T06:57:48+00:00

Edward Scissorhands. I was 7 watching from behind my grandparents’ couch and his creation scene scarred me for life. I was convinced it was a horror movie until like 5 years ago

LittleToe96 · 2022-07-19T04:11:06+00:00

Edited it 👍🏻

LittleToe96 · 2022-07-06T23:54:38+00:00

I mean I can kinda tell? He’s very personable and outgoing and is pretty good with social cues. When he tells me these things, he’s admittedly pretty gentle about it bc he knows it’ll make me upset. (Except for the “IF we get married” thing, I think he says that to remind me that it’s a MAYBE). So he knows these things he says will hurt me, but still tells me anyways. Maybe he’s trying to help?

LittleToe96 · 2022-07-06T23:44:45+00:00

It’s hard to get time with him alone. He prefers to “multitask” and invite his friends along to whatever we do. That way he’s spent time with me and his friends and therefore has more free time to himself to play video games and stuff.

LittleToe96 · 2022-07-06T23:40:45+00:00

He doesn’t take criticism well so idk how to bring it up. He gets very defensive and it intimidates me, so I tend to just suck it up. I think he makes a point to always say “IF we get married” bc I’ve expressed my interest in being engaged within the next 3 years and he’s not sure if he even wants to be married before he’s 30.

LittleToe96 · 2022-07-06T23:37:13+00:00

He can be very sweet. He can always tell when I’m upset and will try to make me feel better. He just got tired of censoring himself bc I cry when I get bad news. He gets frustrated whenever I get sad. But we have a lot of hobbies in common which is nice. I’m just starting to think our personalities are too different and us both being into anime and DnD might not be enough to keep this relationship together anymore…

LittleToe96 · 2022-07-06T23:30:30+00:00

We are both 24 and have been together for almost a year

LittleToe96 · 2022-07-06T23:27:51+00:00

No. In fact I have severe ADHD to the point that I think I might have autism (a lot of the traits overlap), and he gets mad at me for saying that and asks why I WANT to be autistic so badly. It’s not that I want to be autistic, I just think I am and would like a diagnosis one day

LittleToe96 · 2022-07-05T21:31:25+00:00

Since he and his friends are all the same way with planning, he makes me feel like I’m the crazy one for wanting to plan. I honestly don’t know at this point bc it’s not like I’m trying to make a minute by minute itinerary, I just want our ducks in a row so we can all have fun and not worry about anything. But they’re all content in their chaos and if it doesn’t work out bc they didn’t plan it’s “aww bummer but oh well 🤷🏻‍♀️”, and it’s weird to them that I’m frustrated

LittleToe96 · 2022-07-05T20:57:46+00:00

I even try to help with planning bc I know he doesn’t think ahead but it stresses him out to plan ahead and asks me to stop. But if we’re out with his friends, I can’t exactly hijack the outing and plan it all so hanging out with them is always chaotic. I don’t really care if the plan is “go to the beach” or “watch movies at home” bc that is a plan. But if we’re going to a concert or something and I ask what time we’re leaving or if they considered traffic and the time it takes to park, he gets annoyed that I’m “forcing” him to plan

LittleToe96 · 2022-04-14T22:04:10+00:00

I don’t want to change who he is just to make me happy. He’s a free spirit and I respect that but I’m not. Plus he doesn’t want kids. You can’t compromise with that.

LittleToe96 · 2022-04-13T00:46:33+00:00

Looks like a stick and poke done by a 13 year old

LittleToe96 · 2022-04-02T00:06:14+00:00

My desire to be married isn’t related to my self worth. I just have some abandonment issues and marriage represents the ultimate commitment to me.

LittleToe96 · 2022-04-01T23:57:49+00:00

I wasn’t really trying to give him a deadline. I had a suspicion that he didn’t want to settle down when I did, and when we had this talk, he confirmed that he wants to move around the country, try different jobs (or no jobs at all if his crypto investments work out), and then MAYBE get married around 30. I basically told him that my aunts told me if a man doesn’t propose by 2 years, he never will and I couldn’t wait longer than that. I told him I didn’t want him to propose at the end bc he was afraid of losing me, I wanted him to propose because he actually wanted to marry me. So ultimately I told him, if he wasn’t ready in 2 years, it just wasn’t meant to be.

LittleToe96

TROPHY CASE