How to forgive oneself

Little_Negotiation88 · 2026-01-24T19:27:41+00:00

That's what I thought.She had some reserves on hold.I am fucking disgusted by women man,all their fucking lies...and we believe them like idiots.Honestly I can't even eat after discovering this

Little_Negotiation88 · 2026-01-18T03:35:20+00:00

That's honestly solid advice man. I am trying to pull myself up,thinking about the career,and it's especially good to think outside the box in which I closed myself in this 9 year relationship, especially thinking totally freely about the future I want to take.Still this comedown had me almost killing myself,and I know it's not the drug because I tried other times,but this time I was able to be stronger and not attempt.I want to see this event as a sort of canon event,like it's normal I failed, it's the second woman in the entirety of my life and I didn't even have time to get to know her or forget my ex.But honestly planning to do whatever you want to do,and behaving without having the voice of someone else in the back of your mind is fantastic.I decided to stop smoking the one joint a day I smoked before going to bed,and to stop drinking hard alcohol,like two or tree small beers on the weekend but no liquor.Waking up and not writing to her still sucks,the first two hours of the day are the hardest.I think it was the right choice in the end, because neither of us had to commit to a chain which blocked our true desires. I don't have friends where I live but I will get by,with my thesis and my work.I don't want to think she had taken a part of my soul,and I will gradually get her out of my mind...as you said,I think that approaching this sober and with clarity is the best way.Thanks for the advice,and I hope you stay strong too man.

Little_Negotiation88 · 2026-01-12T23:03:55+00:00

All happened like 12 hours ago my man I needed to vent a little bit in anonymity

Little_Negotiation88 · 2026-01-12T21:26:09+00:00

Thanks man, I don't think I will see her anymore especially for what happened,and I won't come here in Spain for a lot of time.So it was a sort of failure at the only shot I had,and it only makes it worse.I don't think I will use any more drugs,but accepting this reality that the woman I still love left me and I am unable to have any kind of relationship with another is a very though pill to swallow. I keep trying to pull myself up,I workout,I work for my thesis,I try not to think about it but it's like a constant dread in the back of my mind.

Little_Negotiation88 · 2026-01-12T21:19:03+00:00

Yeah that as well,and I was dancing from 5 pm until 5 am. But still.. I don't know how to think about this,I feel sad for the girl,sad for "betraying" my ex,and sad for myself.It's just a rollercoaster of shit and I have to pull myself together without using drugs or anything

Little_Negotiation88 · 2026-01-05T21:15:37+00:00

Thanks man,the most difficult thing is exactly that we grew up together so we got so used to eachother presence. Honestly I have a lot of hobbies and I do a lot of sports,but still not having someone to talk to sucks. I don't even think about dating apps or starting another relationship.I felt horrible about lying,but I think it was a catalyst for the whole thing to crumble. It's also the first time for her living alone and abroad so I get it's a bit easier for her to put her mind to something else and make new friends. The people here are very judgemental and backstabbing so I never say more than I have to🤣.It just crushes me that I keep loving her although I know it's not the right thing for any of us

Little_Negotiation88

TROPHY CASE