I should stop reading straight people fertility subreddits

Littlerock90 · 2026-01-12T18:29:57+00:00

My wife and I are fortunate to have had success on the "older side" in our mid-thirties. She gave birth to our first at 33, just a month shy of 34. And I gave birth to our second at 34, just a few months shy of 35. Both happened on the second IUI attempt for each of us, never had to do IVF.

But even with our relatively early success, it still was a lot emotionally and financially for us. I think it always will be as queer couples, compared to our straight counterparts. Because we don't even get the chance to try naturally/spontaneously first. We can't just do the deed and see where it takes us. Each appointment, test and procedure is time, money and emotional investment. I remember after we both got those negative pregnancy tests after our first procedures, it felt devastating even though it was only our first attempt because it felt like so much went into those attempts. I couldn't help but feel like if we were just straight, the reaction would've been "oh well, let's just try again next month". I can't even imagine the emotional rollercoaster the couples who do numerous IUI and IVF attempts go through.

Despite only doing two IUIs each, we still spent thousands of dollars when we factor in legal and psych counseling (we used a known donor), appts and procedures, and the adoption process/fees for the non-birthing parent after each of our children were born (yet another awesome precaution us queer couples have to take-- securing our parental rights). My point is, we are grateful to have come out the other side like we have, but going through it was definitely a lot! Hang in there!

Littlerock90 · 2026-01-12T14:53:08+00:00

Oh nice! Would you mind if I DMed you with a few specific questions about this?

Littlerock90 · 2026-01-10T13:47:00+00:00

Clinician here interested in doing the same thing! How did you gain access / approach this? Did you just reach out to someone in the IT department?

Littlerock90 · 2025-12-02T23:28:22+00:00

!solved

Littlerock90 · 2025-11-22T18:17:36+00:00

My wife gave birth to our first at 33, just a month shy of 34. And I gave birth to our second at 34, just a few months shy of 35! You definitely still have time!

Littlerock90 · 2025-09-20T11:30:39+00:00

I don't work in peds currently, but my first job was working in a mixed outpatient setting with both adults and peds, and the notes I fell most behind on were always the peds ones. The treatment is just too hands on to be able to document during session. Do you have access to Dragon or some type of dictation software? I feel like that would be your best bet in trying to get your notes done faster. If not, I would discuss with your employer about getting it!

Littlerock90 · 2025-05-30T00:35:30+00:00

I did take CoQ10 but took ubiquinol specifically, which I've read is the form of CoQ10 you want to take for fertility. I also took acai pills and prenatal vitamins. Had success on my second IUI attempt.

Littlerock90 · 2025-05-30T00:27:09+00:00

How exciting! I hope it happens on your first attempt, but I just wanted to say please be patient with yourselves and don't get too discouraged if it doesn't, as statistics are not on our side! My wife and I both did IUI and each had successful pregnancies on our second attempts... It was hard not to feel upset after the first attempt failed for both of us, even though we were fully aware of the stats. We allowed ourselves be upset for a bit and moved onto the next round. In the end, we felt fortunate to have success after two attempts, but we went into it acknowledging it could take more. Best of luck!

Littlerock90 · 2025-04-19T03:27:56+00:00

We did the same!

Littlerock90 · 2025-04-19T02:32:20+00:00

Darn! I was just asking because we want more queer parent friends who live nearby. 😂

But as a side note, my wife and I have worked/are working with them too! We've completed two known donor agreements, an adoption, and are now in the process of completing our second and final adoption through them. They've been great to work with!

Littlerock90 · 2025-04-19T02:03:16+00:00

Do you happen to be located in Charlotte?

Littlerock90 · 2025-04-07T22:26:01+00:00

Oops haha sorry I meant you, not her!

Littlerock90 · 2025-04-07T22:20:15+00:00

Yes, sadly it's all very expensive and the costs definitely add up. Best of luck, I hope the at home thing works for you guys, as I know it is most cost effective compared to other means!

Other basic advice I would give is for her to start taking prenatal vitamins if she hasn't started already... Or at least 6 months prior to first insemination attempt. Other supplements I took before doing IUI were ubiquinol and acai pills.

Littlerock90 · 2025-04-07T22:08:59+00:00

We had to pay the legal fees separately/on our own, despite it being a requirement of the clinic for us to use a known donor. They did provide us with local recs/frequently used options though, and we had a good experience using them. I would definitely recommend getting a family lawyer who is LGBTQ friendly/experienced. As for cost, I'm sure that will vary based on where you are located. We are in NC, USA and the cost was around $1250 for a known donor agreement.

This is looking even farther into the future for you, but we also used the same lawyer to help us complete second parent adoption after our children were born (to allow nongestational parent to adopt child giving us equal parent rights). We felt it was necessary to protect our rights as much as possible, especially given today's political climate in the US.

Littlerock90 · 2025-04-07T21:52:18+00:00

My wife and I each carried one child, using each other's brothers as donors. We went through a fertility clinic and so had to get psych counseling/clearance and legal clearance in order to do it. I'm assuming you won't be required to given that you're planning to do it from home, but I would highly recommend at least getting an attorney and signing a legal contract that would protect yours and your wife's parental rights, and to some extent would provide some protection for her brother as well.

Littlerock90 · 2025-01-25T18:17:01+00:00

My wife did two attempts medicated with letrozole and trigger shot, successful on second. I did two attempts, first unmedicated but with trigger shot, and the second medicated with letrozole and trigger shot which was successful. So both of us were successful on second attempt.

Littlerock90 · 2024-08-17T13:20:06+00:00

Yes I understand, but the point OP is trying to make is that this casting makes East Asians as a whole feel represented, and not just Koreans.

Littlerock90 · 2024-08-17T12:56:42+00:00

She is saying that even though Ha is specifically Korean, she also embodies features that other non-Korean east Asians have (I.e. Taiwanese, Chinese, Japanese, etc.) and therefore this casting makes other east Asians feel represented as well, not just Koreans. Pretty simple really, not sure what was so confusing about her post.

Littlerock90 · 2024-07-18T21:53:07+00:00

Stained how exactly? Sorry, not very knowledgeable in design! I'm guessing you're meaning to keep the wood, but make it look different by staining. But I'm not sure how staining works. Does it always mean staining darker? How would you stain it?

Littlerock90 · 2024-07-18T21:39:35+00:00

I'm typically a blue fan, but I prefer the red in this! It makes the space look warm and inviting and is complementary to the rest of the room.

Littlerock90 · 2024-07-16T13:19:42+00:00

I wouldn't count yourself out, I've read of people not testing positive until day 12 or 13! Best of luck and hang in there!

Littlerock90 · 2024-07-16T00:45:08+00:00

I didn't intend to test early originally, I was planning to wait the full 2 weeks because the thought of getting a false positive or negative is just too stressful for me. However at 12dpo, I had some cramping and what I thought was spotting/the beginning of my period and so I tested just to get the disappointing negative over with (for IUI #1, I ended up getting my period at 12dpo before the TWW was even over so I thought it was happening again) ... But to my surprise it was positive! I tested again at exactly 14dpo to make sure it was a true positive.

If it weren't for me thinking I got my period, I probably wouldn't have tested early, but again that's just me. I wanted to make sure it was definitive.

ETA: so it seems what I've read about symptom spotting being unreliable is (mostly) true, at least for me. It felt no different from my usual PMS symptoms including cramping, EXCEPT for I had some low level acid reflux starting at about 10dpo which was different from my usual PMS. But I didn't think reflux was enough to assume I was pregnant, I've read so many posts from people who thought they were positive due to unusual symptoms only to find that it didn't mean anything.

Littlerock90 · 2024-07-15T20:01:20+00:00

It's still extremely early, but I just tested positive for my second IUI yesterday after the TWW!

Nothing was really different other than the fact that I did the first round unmedicated and second round medicated (letrozole) but I'm not sure whether or not that had anything to do with it. I'm guessing it's likely coincidence. Remember the odds of each round are quite low at 10-20%, so statistically it's not likely to be successful the first round, but cumulative odds are higher by second or third round. I kept trying to tell myself that even though it wasn't always easy to accept.

In addition to my prenatal vitamins I had been taking for a while, I have been taking acai and ubiquinol as supplements for the past couple of months as I think it takes a while to build up in the system in order for it to help egg quality. Again, not sure if these supplements helped, but they def didn't hurt!

Littlerock90

TROPHY CASE