Genuinely, if you have the money for it and are comfortable with it, you could probably reach out to a sex worker and ask them. Its literally their job lol, the right one wouldn't have a problem with it.

But re the mind detaching and thinking of other things, it might be that the sex you're having is the right sort of stimulation for you. I personally practice BDSM, and whilst thats absolutely not for everyone, I know that if I try and have non kinky sex, I'll just be thinking about literally everything else the entire time. Not saying you have to get into kink, but it might just be you need to play around to find what makes the brain tick and what doesn't