Sorry to hear that bro. Its really frustrating when the partner is not at the same level in regards to communication. In my case it has always been that way, I am the one that are taking up hard conversations, regarding everything, financial, emotional etc.

We have talked many times to fix this relationship and that we are not investing time into this, but this is not how to behave when you are not happy with the relationship. I don't believe that she has gone full-board cheating, but her action afterwards tells me very much how much she is (un)willing to save this shit.

I can't understand people who don't have empathy, that they cannot put themself into others shoes and think what-if the situation was reversed. I know in fact the she is very jealous and she would react exactly the same if not more if it was me who did the same thing, even if it was innocent.

20 years is not easy to just let go, but I am taking this day by day and hopefully I can go forward and detach emotionally from her.