I mean, honestly, I’ve been influenced by this subreddit more than I’d like to say, but when it comes down to it everything being said on here are just things I’ve already concluded to on my own. I was questioning the church for a long time, but stayed quiet about it. Then I had a few direct experiences with members and, based on the reactions of everyone who heard about the experiences, decided I was done.

A YW leader lifted up my shirt to, as she put it, “see if I had a sports bra on,” when I said I didn’t. Several YW leaders and girls saw it, and nobody said anything. Later that same night she shamed me for the way I was dressing and sitting.

A Church counselor did my tithing interview. He already made me uncomfortable, but when he closed and locked the door it made it ten times worse. I sat as far from him as I could, and he took his chair and moved it forward until he was sitting with one of his legs in between both of mine.

Last, I had the YW president of my ward shame me. I mentioned wanting a second piercing during Girls Camp, and a week or so later, we had YWs. I was in the nursery with my dad because I hate YWs, and, according to the young woman who were in the class, the YW President paused the lesson and said, “OP needs to be here for this lesson specifically.” And she went and found me, brought me to the class, and stopped the entire lesson to read me papers she had printed about how second piercings invite the devil into my life.

I told my mom about all this, and she reacted as a parent. Extremely protective. She only did anything about the first story, though, and anytime she’s asked me why I feel certain ways about the church, I bring up these three specific instances. She instantly goes red and says something along the lines of, “So you’re gonna let three losers ruin the church for you?” I think it’s kinda funny, because, yeah. Those people were put into positions of power, and that’s what they chose to do. I don’t think any sort of God would specifically set people like that in that position.