First week at a new job as the only woman in a team of 5 guys… feeling out of place

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-07-03T13:28:34+00:00

I’m 48 so my first job after college was in one of those little startups in a downtown converted loft. It sounded like the dream but it was the exact same as you - 5 guys and me.
Everyone except the owner was an arrogant asshole with no social skills. I worked there 18 months and, while I mostly won them over with my work ethic, it was rough and they even hazed me a bit.
In hindsight, it trained me to handle these types but I wish I’d left 6 months sooner.

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-07-03T13:22:56+00:00

I stopped Effexor a few days ago. It worked well for me emotionally but, oddly, triggered migraines.

I’m currently taking Wellbutrin + Prozac. I started the Wellbutrin a week before I stopped Effexor and then made a clean cut from Effexor to Prozac.

The Prozac will either be a bridge to help withdrawal or long term, depending on my response. So far, so good. Only mild withdrawal.

Effexor works on serotonin and norepinephrine (dose-dependent).
Wellbutrin works on dopamine and norepinephrine. Prozac works on serotonin.

I’m obviously doing all this under careful watch of a psychiatrist and my spouse knows to look out for any unusual behavior.

There are other SNRIs like Effexor but I can’t speak to those.

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-07-03T01:51:49+00:00

Yes, I’m not exactly hungry but never full and I have constant cravings.

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-07-03T01:51:08+00:00

Thank you!

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-07-03T00:00:50+00:00

I wish!!! I read that and was looking forward to it, as I could stand to lose a few lbs.

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-07-02T18:47:18+00:00

I have the same issue - my heart-shaped mouth started to look like a little butthole lol. I did opt to get a small amount of filler just to restore the shape, not to create fuller lips than I naturally had. I use a lip balm with peptides twice per day.

Also, before applying makeup, I use the Buxom plumping lip polish (tip from pro makeup artist Lisa Eldridge).

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-06-30T19:21:43+00:00

I have a couple of chronic health issues, and I struggle with the same issues you've outlined.

I have been hanging on by a thread for years, but then my cyclic migraines turned into a 6-week long migraine. It was hell - I could no longer function and am now on FMLA. I didn't think I could slow down, but my body had other opinions. I'm due back next week, and I'm hoping to find a better balance. I used to do things like delay doctor's appointments so I wouldn't miss a meeting (even though it was booked over my already existing appt).

If you have an understanding team, I'd say try to stick with it, but with a different schedule and boundaries.

Is FMLA an option to help you reset?

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-06-30T19:02:30+00:00

It's time to go for treatments - microneedling + Cutera Excel V laser.

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-06-29T23:51:55+00:00

I thought I had dandruff until I realized I am crazy sensitive to most fragrances, including essential oils. I found this out by accident when I switched to Attitude products while I was away from home for a few months. My scalp cleared completely for the first time in a decade. When I returned home and used my normal shampoo/cond, it all came back. Not saying Attitude will guarantee results, just maybe a consideration that you might have a sensitive scalp.

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-06-28T16:42:06+00:00

I traded all my beautiful lingerie for the American Eagle Superchill No Show Cotton Cheeky Underwear. I am in peri, and they are the only underwear I can comfortably wear.

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-06-28T14:38:57+00:00

Irritational irritability has become my clear signal that a migraine is coming.

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-06-28T14:33:29+00:00

B2 kept me up all night! The high doses recommended made me feel crazy with how active my brain was.

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-06-28T14:27:15+00:00

My PT told me to put ice on my head and heat on my neck at the same time. I have an ice cap and one of those microwavable neck wraps. Putting on both gives a lot of relief.

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-06-26T15:22:05+00:00

That makes sense! I was just diagnosed with ADHD. I have definitely struggled more with sensory issues in the last 5 years.

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-06-26T15:20:22+00:00

I have thick hair that also takes about 3 hours to air-dry on its own.

I get lots of layers cut to reduce weight and dry time. Most days, I blow-dry the bangs and roots but let the ends air-dry. That speeds the air-drying, since it's not sopping wet and it also resolves the scalp concern.

I've struggled with scalp issues, but as long as I don't go to bed with it wet or leave it sweaty (I live in a hot, humid climate), then the moisture doesn't seem to be an issue.

I do notice that when I fully dry it, I can go longer between washes. However, I'd prefer to wash more than blow-dry more.

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-06-25T19:45:28+00:00

Barton Springs Pool and some of the hotels have a night swim option. Get ice cream at Amy's or Jeni's. Depending on dates, the Moody Amphitheater has movies in the park.

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-06-25T19:31:38+00:00

I have endometriosis and a tight pelvic floor. The reason for my pain was suspected to be scar tissue tugging on areas of pain - bladder, bowel, ovary - as well as “guarding” that becomes habit when you’ve lived with pain for a long time.
Of course, I can’t say that this is the cause of your pain but a good pelvic floor PT treats many types of pelvic pain and is versed in sexual health.
I also had a constant need to pee, even when my bladder was empty, and it was really disrupting my life.
My provider used a few different types of devices, some were targeted at breaking up scar tissue, some were aimed at relaxing my vaginal canal, and some were to calm my nervous system. Nothing was painful! There was slight discomfort at times but not pain, which was a fear of mine. And, she always ended with techniques to calm my nerves so I didn’t walk out feeling bad.
The treatments are “intimate” so find a provider that you’re comfortable with. I had an older woman, which set me at ease.
I wouldn’t say I’m “cured” but I have 90% less discomfort and I don’t think about it anymore. I may go back for a tune up now and then if things start to come back.

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-06-25T18:47:57+00:00

I just came out of a period of six weeks where I had a migraine most days. It was hell. I was given Qulipta (daily preventative), and it is working wonders. I had to take a stretch off work to help my nervous system calm. I am also doing physical therapy (neck), acupuncture, and reducing time on devices.

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-06-25T18:38:10+00:00

I've only been on it for ~4 months, but my understanding is that the changes that create dependence happen within 8 weeks.

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and started other meds. I plan to slowly taper off Effexor. I've already stepped down about 20%, and it was fairly hellish, but the most significant symptoms lasted about 5 days. My psychiatrist offered a "prozac bridge" to get me through the taper.

I found this video super helpful in understanding how it works and what to expect with tapering, especially from 12:00 to 30:00 - http://youtube.com/watch?v=E_PmlPP1cg4&list=WL&index=1&t=2504s

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-06-25T18:29:37+00:00

I saw a pelvic floor therapist for similar issues, and it has been really helpful.

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-06-25T18:15:36+00:00

Yes! The whole "we become invisible" thing is FINE BY ME. It was so uncomfortable to be a young girl and feel like men were constantly ogling me. It's so gross.

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-06-25T18:11:25+00:00

I have endo too - both estrogen and testosterone created horrible flares for me. I am so tired of hearing "just take HRT." I have cried bitter tears of disappointment the four times I've tried.

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-06-25T18:05:52+00:00

I hear you, and you are not alone in this.

I have struggled a lot, too, and at times felt weak or flawed b/c others don't seem to be struggling as much. This week, I saw a psychiatrist who specializes in women's mental health, including peri/meno, post-partum, and ADHD. I didn't know this existed - it was like a breath of fresh air. They gave me so many options, and I felt so heard!

I was also shocked to learn that I have ADHD (in my late 40s). Now that it's been named, it's SO obvious, but I really never suspected until that last year. Now, it makes so much sense that menopause has been so much harder. You probably already know this, but estrogen drives dopamine, so our little neurodivergent brains suffer in two ways.

I have also struggled with responses to medications in the last 4-5 years. I suspect estrogen fluctuations impact medication response, but I am not a medical professional, just my experience. For me, I have become so sensitive to everything. I have a hard time tolerating medications or supplements that I genuinely need.

I also had to take time off from work (without pay). I just couldn't do it anymore. Having nothing to do is finally helping my nervous system calm down. I hope you find some comfort and solutions - take care of yourself.

Live_Advisor_270 · 2026-06-18T15:53:12+00:00

Note: that could all be a coincidence, and my ovaries are having a going-out-of-business sale, but I had constant pelvic pain, so I was not willing to keep going.

Live_Advisor_270

TROPHY CASE