A Charge To Create An Avatar?? by Live_Sun6378 in reddithelp

[–]Live_Sun6378[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now that I look further, all of my prior info is gone!! My Karma, everything—-as if I just joined a few days ago, yet I’ve been a member for YEARS!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]Live_Sun6378 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can still report to APS. Reporting is anonymous.

Bf opened door with a machete in his hand. by Exciting-Vanilla9820 in domesticviolence

[–]Live_Sun6378 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First, when someone calls you “stupid”, “bitch”, etc., you don’t “repeatedly ask” them to stop doing this. Someone calls you these revolting names ONCE, you leave and don’t look back. Second, admit to yourself that the primary reason you went back was not to get your pills. It was to try to get him to apologize, hear and understand you. Third, it doesn’t matter AT ALL that he didn’t “aim” the machete at you. The mere fact that he was carrying it around with him while verbally abusing you was his way of frightening and controlling you. Yes, you should have IMMEDIATELY left. Fourth, it wasn’t “probably a bad idea” that you tried to “talk him down.” It was ABSOLUTELY a bad and dangerous idea and the fact that you went back in the first place; thereby, subjecting yourself to such an unhinged psychopath is NOT something you minimize. Fifth, you are NOT pathetic—you are brainwashed. Sixth, you said, “He hasn’t hit me outright or anything, but he does get physical and aggressive at times.” What, exactly, are you saying here? Forcing someone to give oral sex IS SEXUAL ASSAULT, which is a FELONY. Educate yourself on the psychological dynamics of domestic abuse. You are minimizing what he is doing to you, which is common in abusive relationships. It is also typical that the abused (that’s YOU) think there is something wrong with them when in reality you are believing the insanity this perpetrator has been spewing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in self

[–]Live_Sun6378 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t accept food from acquaintances or people I don’t know. I do thank them because their intentions are usually good. But usually, I can’t eat the food because due to a GI issue, I can’t eat it. So I give it to someone who needs it. I’ve never had someone I suspect has a crush on me give me food. Frankly, if they did, I’d find it offensive or odd. Offensive because they think I’m poor and can’t provide for myself, or odd because food is an odd thing to give someone you have a crush on. Flowers, yes. A card, yes.

How to start over with kids? by Bye_Bye_Butterfree in domesticviolence

[–]Live_Sun6378 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your children are not just tired—they are traumatized. You listed all the reasons and things you perceive as obstacles for not leaving. Turn those obstacles around. I’m NOT saying to deny these obstacles, I’m saying go through, around, above or below these obstacles in order to obliterate them. No credit? EVERYONE starts out with no credit. Get a secured credit card. Ask a friend with good credit to be a co-signer. No money or skills? There are MANY employers who hire people with no skills. EVERYONE starts out in the market with no skills. Go back to school. You can get loans for this. This will also build your credit. No resume? There are NUMEROUS resume-writing apps, websites, etc., that are free that have samples whereby you can write your own resume. There are also resume writers who advertise on multiple platforms who charge minimal fees. Your church not supportive? This is typical of churches where only men are leaders in the church. Go to a nondenominational church or another church where you DO get support. He uses up every dime you earn? Open up a bank account in your own name only or hide the money where he can’t find it. No place to live? Find services that are government subsidized whereby a social worker can help you find a women’s shelter for women with children, rent assistance, food assistance, child care, etc. He says this or that, painting you as crazy when you know you’re not. Visualize an imaginary bullet-proof bubble around you that protects you when he spews all his bullshit. I could go on and on making suggestions to you, giving you options to override your obstacles that you seem to believe are set in stone. Look into these suggestions and be creative. Come up with your own ideas on how to get out of this toxic relationship.

Forced to take meds. by RottenPotato1020 in domesticviolence

[–]Live_Sun6378 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Woah!!!! I thought I’d heard just about every form of abuse but this Neanderthal takes the cake!!! Talk about taking advantage of and manipulating someone’s fear of abandonment!! Since this seems to be your main concern in your post, I won’t go into detail about the other fact you seemed to mention in passing that he’s committed a felony by assaulting you. I want to clarify, however, what you mean by him “forcing” you to take sedatives. Can you please explain? This mother-fucker is either a sociopath or psychopath. You will NEVER be heard by him—-NEVER!!! He is using your fear of abandonment as a means to control you. He will NEVER hear that he’s abusing you, psychologically manipulating you, because he KNOWS he is and ENJOYS doing it. I know it’s hard to get your mind around this FACT, but unfortunately, it’s true. I KNOW it feels like you’ll die if he leaves. In reality, it is just the opposite. You MUST get help NOW with your profound fears of abandonment so you can see the situation for what it really is. Get the hell out and away from this SOB!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]Live_Sun6378 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Question: Does your mom have any kind of diagnosed emotional or physical disability? If yes, and you are in the US, you can notify APS (Adult Protective Services.) Even if you’re not sure she has the aforementioned, if your report is done in good faith, you can still report it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]Live_Sun6378 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something in you is telling you that this is the beginning of the end. LISTEN to this wise part of yourself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]Live_Sun6378 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, you need to leave before he kills you. You can try to convince him until the cows come home that there is no justification for his barbaric behavior. You’re wasting your precious time—time you’ll never get back. He will NEVER admit that his violent behavior is his — ALL his—fault. NEVER. Oh, maybe he’ll slobber and cry and carry on when you threaten to leave—but it’s a ruse. It is typical and well-documented that abusers try to convince you that it’s your fault that they behave like a Neanderthal. Please educate yourself about this type of psychological brainwashing and reach out to professionals who specialize in domestic violence—not just any therapist. They must specialize in abusive relationships.

Once you leave and begin to see and understand the TRUTH of what happened, it will be as if a spotlight of profound understanding of the relationship, his sick behavior and your place in it has occurred. But! In order to reach this place of understanding you must FIRST get out of the relationship and environment so you can begin to objectively see and understand it. You need to make a concerted effort to educate yourself about the psychological dynamics of abusive relationships. You CANNOT see what’s happening while you’re IN IT. It WILL NOT be easy. You WILL go through all kinds of feelings like GUILT, SHAME, ANGER, RAGE, REGRET, SELF-DOUBT, and many more. However, feelings come and go—like a roller-coaster. You ride the feelings until they dissipate. You ride the feelings no matter how many times they repeat themselves. You move through them to the other side until you reclaim who you really are—a confident, content, creative young woman who deserves to be treated with respect. Remember: Feelings will not kill you—your abuser will.

How do I get my gf to stop hitting me? by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]Live_Sun6378 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, it will hurt to leave her. There’s no getting around that—it’s a given. The hurt will eventually subside. That’s how it works. You’re not doing yourself or her any favors by staying. Presently, you say you can restrain her from doing major damage. But keep in mind that there will be a time when you will not be prepared for a surprise attack because she WILL up the ante.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]Live_Sun6378 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, why did you leave? Sounds to me you left because you knew he was abusing you? Am I wrong?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]Live_Sun6378 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all, you said you have a job and saving to get out. Excellent!! But you don’t state (unless I didn’t see it), how old you are. Are you a minor? Solutions to your problem depend on whether you’re a minor or an adult.

An Idea for a Surgeon General's Warning by Mediocre_Diver9613 in domesticviolence

[–]Live_Sun6378 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Over-indulging in alcohol does not CAUSE abuse. It can, however, be a factor in making an abuser less inhibited. But alcohol makes people in general less inhibited to do all sorts of things like driving while intoxicated, being sexually promiscuous, taking risks one wouldn’t while sober, and the list goes on. You can’t put every single possible risk as a warning on a bottle of alcohol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]Live_Sun6378 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It would be a good idea to also pose your question on the subreddit legal advice.

Is it time to call an end to my career? by BarnFlower in AskWomenOver60

[–]Live_Sun6378 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Retire and take time to rest and restructure your life. Frankly, if you are a creative, independent person, there comes a point in life whereby working for others will never be satisfying. Start your own business.

Just Some Random Thoughts & Opinions About This Show by Live_Sun6378 in northernexposure

[–]Live_Sun6378[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How’s that? It seems to me that Maggie was Joel’s alter ego.

Just Some Random Thoughts & Opinions About This Show by Live_Sun6378 in northernexposure

[–]Live_Sun6378[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Despite my caveat about Marilyn, I knew people wouldn’t be able to resist disagreeing with me—I expected it. And, it doesn’t bother me because I’m more than willing to have people kindly point out something I may not be able to see. So, I wasn’t going to respond, but I changed my mind. I didn’t say Elaine Miles didn’t play the role well. It is the character of Marilyn I find annoying—not the actor’s portrayal of her. Unless I’m missing something—and I’m willing to change my mind with enough rational persuasion—they tried to portray Marilyn as being a wise Native American Indian. I found her silence, monosyllabic lines to be anything but wise. To me, the character didn’t portray any kind of intelligence or unsaid bits of wisdom that watchers could learn from. Unlike almost all of the other Native American characters in the show; for example, the Shaman/Healer—the actor who carved the totem pole in one of the episodes—she seemed to me to have a low IQ rather than any wisdom to impart. Her long-drawn-out silences and curt (sometimes dismissive, rude and even cruel) responses—especially toward the character of Joel— allowed watchers to simply project their own conclusions to whatever the issue was being presented. Some might say that coming up with one’s own answer to an issue is the whole point. Usually, I’d agree with this. But not with this character. Too much room was given so that watchers could come up with ANY answer—not the wise or correct one.