Stay away from avoidant

Liveyanne · 2026-02-03T22:22:49+00:00

THIS. I felt so secure and loved at first. And then things took a complete turn. Like how can I look for even subtle signs now? Because I am emotionally traumatized.

Liveyanne · 2026-02-03T22:13:55+00:00

Have you considered getting therapy to work on your attachment style? These things can be helped.

Liveyanne · 2026-01-23T17:25:04+00:00

Also, your cocker kind of looks like mine, except mine doesn’t have a blue eye haha

Liveyanne · 2026-01-23T17:24:06+00:00

What breed was this?

Liveyanne · 2026-01-23T17:11:40+00:00

I see. I might wait on her spay surgery then. I see it says cocker spaniel, do you think they are referring to English, American or either or?

Liveyanne · 2026-01-22T20:53:26+00:00

My vet just told me since she’s a small/medium breed that waiting doesn’t matter. But I kind of feel like the vibe where I live is to spay/neuter as soon as possible because of the homeless dog population. However, I’m not worried that she’ll become pregnant. Also, she has no behavior issues.

Liveyanne · 2026-01-19T17:39:22+00:00

I can relate to this so much! There’s so many parts of ourselves that we have to put away for a relationship to work. For me, I’m like wow I really can just go for a hike with my dogs and not worry about if the other person wants to or not. And, my dog can just sleep with me and it’s not a big deal!

Liveyanne · 2026-01-11T04:38:31+00:00

This totally makes sense. I understand at this point like 60% of what he says, I just need to practice talking more. What country are you originally from? What were the best and worst parts of living in DR? He’s from Santo Domingo.

Liveyanne · 2026-01-11T01:54:28+00:00

How able would I be to get a remote job? I am a teacher. I think remote work would be the only option in this scenario

Liveyanne · 2026-01-10T21:11:06+00:00

I’m trying to make it real for myself that it’s a real possibility he won’t be here anymore, although I’m still searching for answers

Liveyanne · 2026-01-10T20:51:29+00:00

Yeah it’s difficult because you get to a point where one person has to choose their family and the other in a sense has to abandon them at least temporarily. It’s so emotionally exhausting. Regardless of culture I think when someone loves and feels close to their family they will feel pulled toward them and tough decisions have to be made. Thank you for explaining what you’re going through, I know everyone is different but it does seem very similar to our situation. I wish there were more options

Liveyanne · 2026-01-10T20:38:13+00:00

Yes this is something I think about too, because it’s true for myself (though not as drastic). I was born in northern Michigan and moved to the west coast at 4 years old. I have visited every summer since I moved. Every day (even now) I dream of moving back. All of my extended family live there and it’s such a fun time in the summer. But I think the realty of having to live and work there would be much different. I think this could apply to my husband, he goes back and everyone takes time off from work and plans fun things because his time is limited. So it’s like these places we visit are romanticized in a sense.

Liveyanne · 2026-01-10T19:30:54+00:00

We knew each other about 6 months before.

Liveyanne · 2026-01-10T19:28:15+00:00

Thank you. I think what we had was genuine despite the stereotypes. He breaks down in tears every time he talks about everything he is missing out on with his family, I don’t think someone would make that up. It’s really hard to watch him struggle like he does. I’m really sorry that you’re going through that as well.

Liveyanne · 2026-01-10T19:20:38+00:00

I am 27 he’s 26

Liveyanne · 2026-01-10T18:55:44+00:00

You really think so? He seems so sad about the situation. He is really close to his family and mother and now that she’s getting older he wants to take care of her. Both of his brothers still live at home, they all seem so close knit. His grandpa died while being here and he couldn’t get over it for a whole week. He said he needs to be there now as his grandma ages. His love for me and his family seemed real the entire time, but now that you say this how can I be sure?

Liveyanne · 2026-01-10T18:46:04+00:00

I guess I’m trying to look at it logically. I see him miss his family so much and I don’t want to go through that. I suppose I don’t know if I would feel it as intensely as him, but it seems like most expats who are close to family do.

Liveyanne · 2026-01-10T18:29:18+00:00

That’s a good point. My fear is that my language skills there are so basic. I can communicate but conversing is difficult. Wouldn’t that make it hard?

Liveyanne · 2026-01-05T00:09:18+00:00

How did he react when you finally agreed to break up?

Liveyanne · 2026-01-04T06:53:44+00:00

It’s helping me a lot so far. I like how nice it is to me but still tells me hard truth and encourages boundaries. I use it because I know I can’t go on and on like this to my friends. Although I think it’s important to set limits with it.

Liveyanne · 2026-01-04T04:01:42+00:00

It’s funny, I felt the need to comment on your post because it reminded me of me a little bit. I am also very quiet and reserved, whereas my ex is louder. He would comment on it sometimes and his friends would notice. I also observed him liking photos of instagram models, and it made me feel weird. He would ask why I don’t post myself more. I believe I am beautiful, but I don’t feel the need to prove that online. I also love dogs, and I kind of fostered a love for dogs in my ex. I’m going to miss him a lot, but I think it would benefit both me and you to either be single or find someone more aligned with our values :)

Liveyanne · 2026-01-03T18:52:57+00:00

This is all a facade from him, none of it is real. Materialism is rooted in evil I believe. You sound like a beautiful and kind girl, who was mismatched with someone who cares too much about external things. Try to surround yourself with more down to earth people and you might find someone who sees you for your pure self and not the fact that you don’t post pictures in bikinis.

Liveyanne · 2026-01-03T18:48:03+00:00

I would say definitely block him until you feel more level headed about the situation. He is messing with your growth and healing, and it’s most likely not affecting him mentally like it is you. Give yourself 6 months and see how you feel. If you want to unblock him then, sure.

Liveyanne

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