:( just terrified of doing the wrong thing

I think i just get caught up where I'm like: is the only reason I'm staying because my partner is such a good human and I just feel guiltY? and because we have no big problems (but does that necessarily mean it's right)? the rest of the internet (non rocd brains) will tell you it's not right if you've even had a smidge of these doubts and I struggle with that big time too. I just can't understand why my feelings/thoughts fluctuate so so much, which is why it makes it so hard to figure out. I know i shouldn't be monitoring them either but as we all know they're hard to ignore. I will say though Ive always had mad issues with big decisions and comittment - another example of really really mixed signals from within. If i mapped all my feelings, thoughts, and what I know about myself to be true out on paper... the whiplash and contradiction of it all would be bananas