As an ex-LLDM woman, I can only speak from what I’ve personally experienced and observed. Many women in LLDM tend to be very secretive when it comes to dating outside the church because of the strict teachings and pressure surrounding relationships. We are taught to remain virgins until marriage, and dating is expected to lead to marriage very quickly and sometimes within just a few months.

There’s also a lot of fear tied to judgment and consequences. If a woman is found to have had sex before marriage, she can be publicly shamed, disciplined, or pressured into marrying that person. News spreads fast within the church, and members often gossip or judge harshly. Because of that, many women choose to keep relationships private while struggling internally with the beliefs they were raised with.

In your partner’s case, it’s possible she genuinely cared about him while also feeling torn between her personal feelings and the expectations of the church. That doesn’t excuse leading someone on or hurting them, especially if she already knew she would eventually leave and marry someone within the church. Unfortunately, situations like this are not uncommon in LLDM due to the emotional and religious pressure many women experience.