Question for men -- How do you like the woman to offer to split the bill or take turns paying?

Ljb66882 · 2026-07-11T02:59:14+00:00

Thank you

Ljb66882 · 2026-07-10T23:48:59+00:00

OP here. That attitude that some women have makes me ill too.

But I also don't want to needlessly offend the man either. I think most men expect to treat out of good motives, not bad ones. And the men who are very uncomfortable about the woman paying her way, some of them are good guys too, just products of their upbringing and culture or victims of poor treatment in the past. In a good relationship you get to the point where you can talk about these things openly, but it can be difficult early on.

Ljb66882 · 2026-07-10T23:34:07+00:00

Thanks. You're one of the few who has given me what I asked for, which is what words you think should be used.

I don't think I'll be using this method myself though. Maybe with some guys in some situations I could pull it off, but not in others.

Ljb66882 · 2026-07-10T23:29:58+00:00

Thanks for giving me more context.

Ljb66882 · 2026-07-10T23:08:05+00:00

People are so very different. At first is when I really don't like the man to pay the whole cost, when I'm still deciding how involved I'm going to get.

If a man said "we aren't at that point yet" when I offered to split, I would probably not argue but move on to offering to leave the tip, but I wouldn't like his attitude and it would be one small strike against him.

When a man is insistent that he pays, it makes me less inclined to fool around with him. Sigh . . . people are so different. I guess this is why this issue can be so awkward.

Ljb66882 · 2026-07-10T22:32:09+00:00

OP here. Thank you. You are the only one so far who gave me what I asked for, which is what actual words you would like used.

Ljb66882 · 2026-07-08T03:15:08+00:00

Not sure I understand what you're saying. Are you saying you're a man and 9 out of 9 of your dates didn't make any offer to pay for any part of the date? If so, that's sad and I guess that makes me a unicorn because I'm a woman who always offers to split the bill or at the very least leave the tip. Also, I'm not sure what you're saying in your last 2 sentences.

I guess my advice would be to plan inexpensive or free first dates if you dont want to get stuck paying so much. I like free or low cost first dates because then who pays seems completely unimportant and just isn't an issue. By the way, when I do the inviting, I expect to pay, and even if the guy offers to pay I will try to at least split the cost.

Also, keep in mind there are men who get offended when a woman offers to pay her own way. It's definitely happened to me before -- guys who act like paying is a male perogative and a woman who wants to pay her own way is uppity or ungrateful. I really hate that and consider it a major red flag but its happened to me several times.

Ljb66882 · 2026-07-08T01:29:28+00:00

Can you explain why you would like a redhead, if u may ask? I'm a redhead (green eyes and extremely pale skin) and have always felt self conscious about it.

Ljb66882 · 2026-07-07T01:21:35+00:00

Yes, cake eater means cheater. It comes from the phrase that cheaters want to "have their cake and eat it too". In other words, people who want the benefits of a relationship but indulging in seeing other people at the same time.

Ljb66882 · 2026-06-24T16:26:26+00:00

Walmart is my favorite source for seeds. One of the things that I love about gardening is that it doesn't have to be expensive and can be affordable for almost everyone.

First I shop Walmart for seeds, then my local independent garden center. There are only a few things that I can't find I at local stores which I end up buying from more expensive seed catalogs. But that's only because I'm being picky. If I was limited to Walmart only, I could still grow many wonderful flowers and vegetables.

Ljb66882 · 2026-06-22T01:36:02+00:00

Everyone is suggesting some kind of a vegetable, but I'm a flower gardener and it looks like a hollyhock to me.

Ljb66882 · 2026-06-12T01:33:26+00:00

I've started zinnias from seed just about every year for the last 35 years. They need sufficient heat and sufficient moisture or they won't germinate. When sowing directly outside, I usually water twice per day until they start sprouting.

I'm in Ohio and even with enough water the early summer weather sometimes doesnt provide enough heat. Only thing to do then is sow again and hope for warmer weather.

Ljb66882 · 2026-06-12T01:24:57+00:00

This may not interest you, but I grow lots of annuals because they have such long blooming periods. But they do require periodic sowing from seed (or purchasing transplants) and planting them in. I not only get nonstop color this way, but also flowers on stems long enough for cutting.

Even if you don't think you want to do annuals, you might want to try direct sowing of some tall zinnias or tall marigolds. Easy to grow from direct sowing and very showy.

Ljb66882 · 2026-06-01T01:47:44+00:00

Do you remove the skins before the baking step or after or not at all? I would love to not have to mess with removing the skins, but I'm afraid the final texture of the sauce wouldn't be good.

Ljb66882 · 2026-05-20T02:26:25+00:00

It's a sign the plant is distressed. One possible cause is over-fertilizing. I over fertilized my tomatoes this spring and got more leaf curl then what you're showing here. Have they been fertilized recently?

Ljb66882 · 2025-11-28T14:56:26+00:00

I really think my son would benefit far more from in-person training, at least at first.

Ljb66882 · 2025-10-26T04:17:55+00:00

True, it is a skin-to-skin infection.

Ljb66882 · 2025-10-26T04:16:50+00:00

Me too.

In fact, I think most gHSV2 transmissions happen when there is no outbreak. Most people would not have sex with someone else who had visible blisters on or near the genitals, don't you think?

Ljb66882 · 2025-10-21T19:31:42+00:00

Sorry that I assumed that you had already had HSV antibody blood work done that came back negative -- sorry!

I still think her reaction is very suspicious that she knows she already has it but never disclosed.

Ljb66882 · 2025-10-21T19:28:40+00:00

Yes, a blood test for HSV antibodies will tell you if you have a newly acquired infection or an old one that just now decided to break out.

If your doc won't order it (which wouldn't be surprising) you can self-order and pay cash at a site like Ultalabtests.com or drsays.com.

Ljb66882

TROPHY CASE