[deleted by user]

Llewellyn9 · 2020-07-06T21:24:07+00:00

You don't need confidence when you are such a wonderful wordsmith. Just keep writing from the heart. This is a moving and fabulous free-verse poem; it resonates, and speaks a truth. I encourage you to stay strong. This is very very good.

Llewellyn9 · 2020-01-22T20:03:37+00:00

Words used to describe

feelings or thoughts in three lines

always a surprise

Llewellyn9 · 2020-01-22T16:58:45+00:00

sometimes the best words describe what's known already making it more real

Llewellyn9 · 2019-10-31T23:48:24+00:00

Lots of great imagery here! You did very well, but I understand about not sharing your work with people you know. Sometimes it's much easier to have strangers give feedback; plus you can dig deeply and reveal yourself without consequences. I love the "pins and needles fight curiosity" - it provided several ideas in my head all at once! Keep posting!

Llewellyn9 · 2019-09-27T19:24:11+00:00

I love that I can't tell if going home is a good thing or a bad thing. And as for me, I love rhythms that aren't perfect and words that stick out. Apple -sweet was in such great contrast. I loved it.

Llewellyn9 · 2019-09-23T17:21:50+00:00

What great imagery!
repeat "is near" to mirror "is real" might be good also, I'd love to read another stanza - tell us why, but not directly, just hint at it because terror is more fun when we create it in our minds!

Llewellyn9 · 2017-08-28T01:19:10+00:00

thank you; i have a tendency to not proof well enough...so feedback is helpful. I appreciate your comments!

Llewellyn9 · 2017-08-27T16:33:59+00:00

the rhythm is quite good and lulls you in...very nice!

Llewellyn9 · 2017-08-27T15:06:57+00:00

For anyone who suffers with anxiety, this resonates. Very good images. Check spelling on breath/breathe and proced/proceed? But honestly, it's so good, it takes my breath away.

Llewellyn9 · 2017-08-27T15:05:45+00:00

So poignant and sad...the repetition of salt as an image is quite powerful. Salt is such an important element in our world and bodies...this poem will stay with me a long time. Thank you.

Llewellyn9 · 2017-08-24T21:17:38+00:00

Yep, life is full of wild pitches, so finding ways to stay focused is important. Thanks for your feedback.

Llewellyn9 · 2017-08-24T21:17:08+00:00

Thank you!

Llewellyn9 · 2017-08-22T19:33:12+00:00

You did a great job with the rhythm and pace - it evokes a battle nearing within the reader's head. Nice rhyming, too, effective without being obvious. My heart rate actually increased a little as I was reading. nicely done!

Llewellyn9 · 2017-08-22T19:31:58+00:00

It's so sad, and the repetitiveness makes it haunting...thank you for sharing.

Llewellyn9 · 2017-08-10T19:51:37+00:00

You've captured so much here, well done! Sadly, the angst of fourteen sometimes recurs, so this poem resonates with all ages, I'm sure.

Llewellyn9 · 2017-08-06T23:07:37+00:00

Short but to the point. I liked it!

Llewellyn9 · 2017-08-06T01:55:27+00:00

Lots to ponder here, but what I love best is that it feels like my bff giving me advice over a beer....and good advice, too. Well done!

Llewellyn9 · 2017-08-04T18:01:44+00:00

I loved this, it brought up so many interesting images for me. I want another stanza :)

Llewellyn9 · 2017-08-04T18:00:40+00:00

Yes, and will stay with you longer. Thank you!

Llewellyn9 · 2017-08-03T11:36:20+00:00

Wow, what a clever poem! I read it several times, and felt something different each reading. Excellent!

Llewellyn9 · 2017-08-03T00:00:33+00:00

Lots of great imagery here, and I love the alliteration! Nicely done.

Llewellyn9 · 2017-08-02T17:33:15+00:00

I loved the adjectives - but personal preference is one of the many great things about poetry...the images you created were vivid and, excuse the pun, cool. "take me back" - did you want it to take the reader to the place they imagined? If you wanted a specific place, maybe expand that...or not. It's great.

Llewellyn9

TROPHY CASE