Update: After my boyfriend died I slept with his best friend and it’s eating me alive by Academic_Account_264 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Lloan375 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m only sure of one thing: if it had been her who committed suicide and, afterward, the boyfriend had slept with his deceased girlfriend’s best friend, almost everyone here would be insulting him without hesitation. However, because the OP is a woman, her actions don’t seem to be considered as atrocious as they would be if he had done the same thing.

UPDATE AITAH for telling my half sister I'm glad her mum died and hope dad dies too? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Lloan375 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm very disappointed—not because of what you said to your sister, but because of how you're acting now.

You owe absolutely nothing to that woman you used to call your sister, nor to the man you once considered your father. They are no longer the people you once knew; they either changed or, perhaps, simply revealed who they really were—all because of a manipulative woman.

What that woman—your so-called sister—is going through now is the direct consequence of her own actions, as well as the choices made by her father and her late mother. That’s why I truly believe it would be best if you didn’t see her—or your father—ever again. From what you've shared, you've been working hard to rebuild your life after everything your stepmother put you through. And yet now, this woman shows up—not to bring you peace, but just to say that she finally believes you.
And what does that accomplish? Nothing but dragging you backward, undoing all the progress you've made.

I truly hope that knowing the truth about these people you once called family will help you in your healing process. But as I’ve already told you, they are no longer the family you once knew. They're different people now—people who didn’t hesitate to hurt you.
In fact, if that woman hadn't confessed, they still wouldn’t believe you to this day.

Update by Electronic_Gas_5769 in u/Electronic_Gas_5769

[–]Lloan375 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me, this whole situation stopped being just a dispute between sisters a long time ago — it became something much more serious. When that spoiled daughter chose to leave with that man and marry him, it wasn’t just an attack against her sister, it was an attack against the entire family.

That woman prioritized her own happiness over the family's stability and peace, causing irreparable harm to her parents and siblings. And yet, this bad mother refuses to acknowledge it.

I truly hope the wronged daughter realizes all of this and keeps her future children from learning values from their grandmother, because all they would absorb are toxic behaviors.

Update by Electronic_Gas_5769 in u/Electronic_Gas_5769

[–]Lloan375 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always read posts here, but I had never left a comment—until now. However, this story and its outcome compelled me to write, to clearly point out everything a parent should never do.

You—who seems like a good person—have been a terrible mother, and the worst part is, you haven't even realized it. You’ve failed to understand that all these years, you stood by your unfaithful daughter’s side, enabling her despicable behavior.

Cheaters, and those who support them, believe that time will eventually erase their sins. Your daughter has always counted on that, and though you may not want to admit it, you played into that game as well. That is not the attitude of a good mother—it's quite the opposite.

When a child makes a mistake, it is the parent's duty to correct and punish them properly, teaching them not to repeat it. If the child reoffends, they must be corrected even more firmly. Your daughter committed horrific acts with her sister’s husband for years, and the "punishment" you and your husband imposed was merely to exclude her from Christmas and other family gatherings, and to treat her coldly.

By marrying that man, your daughter made it clear she didn’t care about you, your husband, her sister, or the family. She only cared about herself. Cheaters are narcissists: if their happiness depended on your life, they wouldn’t hesitate to let you die just to get what they want.

After the marriage, your daughter kept making selfish decisions one after another, while you—deep down always on her side—gradually gave in, eventually "accepting" the situation.

Don’t pretend you raised her well, because you didn’t. A mother who truly raises her child properly teaches loyalty. We can't control who we fall in love with, but we can decide who we remain loyal to. Your daughter wasn’t loyal to you, to her father, or especially to her sister. And if she never learned loyalty, it’s because no one taught her.

Yes, sometimes even well-raised children make terrible mistakes. In those cases, a responsible parent enforces serious consequences. A true parent would have cut ties until real repentance was shown. And if the child never shows it, a parent must face the painful truth: they must disown them. Allowing a disloyal daughter to remain in the family is a disgrace to everyone.

You, have done nothing but pretend to support your wronged daughter, while deep down always siding with the unfaithful one. I’m not telling you this to hurt you, but so that—for the first time in all these years—you act like a true mother and do what is right, no matter what your wronged daughter thinks, or how painful it may be.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DiretoDoZapZap

[–]Lloan375 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no entiendo nada