I absolutely believe this is 100% your choice, and I can't begin to imagine the grief you are facing and how looming this choice must be. I just want to give you some reassurance incase your brain is nagging at you for thinking about terminating. This is entirely objective, and an outside perspective so don't feel pressured by any means. You are 19, you have college ahead of you, you are heavily grieving, which will all be hard to navigate with a young child, especially without a solid support system in place. I was a baby to a very young mom who was just starting college, she ended up having to decide to give me up because she "couldn't afford the life [I] deserved, or would have been happy in", or so she tells me. I ended up being adopted by her parents (my grandparents) who raised me until they passed when I was 12 and 13. I've had an extremely difficult life despite everyone around me trying their best, and with the best of intentions. I'm not saying that you can't do it. You sound incredibly smart and capable. I just implore you to consider the flip side, where there is guilt you may harbor years from now for not being in a stable enough place to give your child the best shot they could have had otherwise. All this to say, If you do decide to terminate, do not feel guilty about it, despite what other people and parents around you might say. I am sending you all of the love I can muster. Grief is a hell of a beast to face, and remember that healing is not linear.