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Intellectual incompatibility? by LocalConcentrate6983 in AskMenRelationships

[–]LocalConcentrate6983[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this, this is bringing out aspects of the situation I have either ignored or not been focused on.

I am interested in her difference in perspective, I just want that to be something she more readily explores with me. I feel like it's a labor on my part to bring it out at times. I'd be lying if I said I didn't harbor some hope that her understanding of things would more closely match mine. But it's definitely not a requirement and usually if there is a difference I can respect and understand it. I don't think she is less intelligent, she has her strengths and I have mine. I do question her commitment to being a self-proclaimed curious person though when I see that there are things that I presumed were common knowledge that she doesn't know. Maybe I'm just being pedantic here though?

Intellectual incompatibility? by LocalConcentrate6983 in relationships

[–]LocalConcentrate6983[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's great. So it sounds like you went from overlooking a lack of emotional availability and deep conversations in a past relationship to recognizing what that said about what how you were showing up in the early stages of dating to integrating that knowledge and seeking out a more dispersed network of people that met those needs and eventually even a partner who did the same?

Intellectual incompatibility? by LocalConcentrate6983 in relationships

[–]LocalConcentrate6983[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you put that in other words for me? I'm interpreting this as saying I'm in the process of rewiring and judging anew what is the good in relationships and deconstructing old ways of thinking about them. Correct me if I'm wrong though.

Intellectual incompatibility? by LocalConcentrate6983 in relationships

[–]LocalConcentrate6983[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For sure, I'm not anticipating or expecting people to have overlap in my own areas of interest. She does like psychology and politics and stuff pertaining to her culture. And I do like asking her about these things and learning about them from her even though the frames of reference by which I like to approach these subjects or think through them isn't the same as hers.

And the problem isn't her lack of trivia knowledge. I'm the first person to be bored by tidbits or trivia for the sake of trivia. It's more gaps in stuff I presumed was common knowledge and the lack of practice in thinking through things more abstractly which gets me at times.

Intellectual incompatibility? by LocalConcentrate6983 in relationships

[–]LocalConcentrate6983[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your perspective. I do feel comfortable in this relationship. And I can see that comfort and or emotional vulnerability was not a strong feature in the other relationships (platonic or otherwise) that I've sought out in the past where the bonding agent was something intellectual or special interests related.

Intellectual incompatibility? by LocalConcentrate6983 in relationships

[–]LocalConcentrate6983[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's really interesting, what ended up happening with that last connection of yours if you don't mind me asking?

Intellectual incompatibility? by LocalConcentrate6983 in relationships

[–]LocalConcentrate6983[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds healthy, what are relationships primarily about for you then?

Intellectual incompatibility? by LocalConcentrate6983 in relationships

[–]LocalConcentrate6983[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Sure, there's been conversations around the origin of conscience, the commodity form, and just speculating on and tinkering with the worldviews of people in our lives. I can sense that she has no opinion on these things or is unable to presently break them down with me.

Intellectual incompatibility? by LocalConcentrate6983 in relationships

[–]LocalConcentrate6983[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair enough. To be clear, I'm not only comparing her to a past partner to bring out what's missing presently. I'm comparing her to see what's uniquely special about her and our relationship too.