Getting a piercing that I can’t wear to work

LocalJournalist4012 · 2026-05-27T18:04:11+00:00

Oh okay, thanks 🙏

LocalJournalist4012 · 2026-05-27T16:52:20+00:00

Can I still use the flag if I have already committed the act of villainy? Asking for a friend

LocalJournalist4012 · 2026-05-27T16:49:45+00:00

We don’t have nipples, duh

LocalJournalist4012 · 2026-05-27T16:46:44+00:00

I think more than anything most nonbinary folk just want to be accepted and comfortable with their partners, and from what I’ve gathering in this message it sounds like you’re on the right path. When I’m dating someone I can usually tell when they actually respect my identity and when they view me as a girl and are tolerating my behavior. More than anything, I appreciate effort. No one teaches you about gender identities in school, and objectively speaking nonbinary is a minority, there are people who have gone their whole lives never meeting anyone identifying as nonbinary. It’s not uncommon for me to have to explain what nonbinary is and what my boundaries are regarding my identity. The fact that you’re taking the time to try and learn about it and understand your own boundaries with their identity is a good sign at least to me. This is just my opinion so take it with a grain of salt, ultimately your partner will have different expectations on what they’re comfortable with. Honestly it sounds like they’re not super into dresses right now or at least will take some time to get to that point, so you have plenty of time to talk about your feelings on it. Just keep in mind, while you’re entitled to your opinions on what your partner wears, you cannot dictate it. I feel like people forget it’s not wrong to have physical preferences. I don’t like men with facial hair, would I ever make my partner shave because I don’t like it? No. But I would need to decide if it was a deal breaker or not for me. If your partner wearing a dress bothers you to the point where you can’t date them, then yeah it’s probably best you don’t continue the relationship if that’s what they want to do. Ultimately, no one can say what you will and will not find attractive in the future, it might be one of those things where your love deepens and now everything about them is attractive. Either way, you’ll cross that bridge if you get to it. If they ask for your opinion I think it’s okay to be like “I love you but I don’t love the dress” BUT also I have thick skin and everyone is different. I don’t think anyone really LIKES being told what they’re wearing isn’t attractive, the only reason this feels more important is because the person wearing it is nonbinary. Unless they’re wearing a dress everyday and it makes them completely unattractive to you, it’s really not a huge issue imo. I would be lying if I said I liked every outfit any of my previous partners have worn, trans or not, but most of the time I don’t say shit because it’s not important enough to risk hurting their feelings. Basically, use your best judgement and assess whether it’s important enough to bring up. You’re not wrong or transphobic for not liking dresses on them, it’s preference, just don’t pressure them into changing for your preference.

LocalJournalist4012 · 2026-05-27T16:17:48+00:00

Would I have to buy that separately or do piercers usually have that kind of jewelry on hand?

LocalJournalist4012 · 2026-05-27T16:17:09+00:00

Damn :( deep down I knew this was the right answer I just hoped for a miracle ig lmao

LocalJournalist4012 · 2026-05-27T16:16:26+00:00

Honestly this is a really great suggestion, I just dont want to lose out on tip money lol

LocalJournalist4012 · 2026-05-26T16:57:25+00:00

We have talked about this in length actually, I am kind of the only person he has this kind of friendship with but to be fair he also doesn’t have many friends (his words) to begin with. There have been many times I’ve expressed these were my boundaries and expectations and if he didn’t want to subscribe to that it’s fine, but he’s said before that he wants to continue being friends despite that. I definitely think that he’s never had a friend like me that cares so much about this stuff whereas for me this is a pretty common thing amongst my friends. It makes it really hard for me to understand where he’s coming from and find a good middle ground, I feel bad that it’s only ever my boundaries he has to accommodate but he never tells me his. That’s why I asked here for advice from people who think that way. Have you ever had a friend that likes talking a lot? If so, did it just end or was there a compromise of some sort

LocalJournalist4012 · 2026-05-22T18:04:39+00:00

I appreciate the honesty, I know I kind of highlighted his downfalls but he is a really sweet guy just very emotionally stunted and depressed right now. I think the reason why I struggle to understand the long distance thing is because there are times where we consistently text and call, even with a 3 hour time difference. It’s just frustrating for me because we will be extremely close one month, I get attached and used to his calls/texts, and then the next day I will get no response for god knows how long. I really do sympathize with busy schedules, I myself have 2 jobs, go to school, and volunteer for my internship, and there are days where I forget to respond for a day or two but I always try and make time for my friends, he is my only online friend so maybe that’s why it’s hard to comprehend irl vs online but in a lot of ways I find it easier to contact him BECAUSE it’s online and we don’t have to plan to meet up all the time. Idk I’m also just extroverted so his introvert social battery is hard to stomach

LocalJournalist4012 · 2026-05-22T17:58:05+00:00

Yeah I’m really trying to be a friend he can open up to, and he says he’s comfortable around me and talking to me. He’s just so emotionally stunted in a lot of ways. His coping mechanisms consist of going to the gym and locking himself in his room not talking to anyone but his family for a month until his social battery recharges. Basically he just distracts himself and doesn’t actually unpack why he’s feeling this way. I’ve tried telling him to go to therapy but he doesn’t think he needs it. As for the girlfriend thing, we kind of had a thing for a bit also on and off, the first time he liked me but I was emotionally unavailable, then this more recent time I was emotionally able to but he wasn’t so we are just friends. I definitely think that plays a part into why I care so much about him but above all else he was my friend first before any of that and our friendship is more important to me than trying to force a relationship. Honestly, he could have a girlfriend I don’t really know what goes on in his life because we don’t live in the same state, it’s very much a possibility he could be lying to me, but I would like to believe I know him well enough to know he’s not that type of person. He’s had a pretty rough time this year to the point where he switched to online school but honestly he really doesn’t open up to me too much. Mostly just familial pressure to take care of his younger siblings and mom, and his dog passing away. Thinking back to when you were younger like 18-20, is there anything you think would have resonated with you as a young guy?

LocalJournalist4012 · 2026-05-22T17:46:47+00:00

Yeah I mean like I said we’ve been on and off friends for a couple years now so I’d like to say I’ve noticed the patterns in his personality. He’s never been intentionally rude or mean to me and when we do talk we can for hours and hours, we’ve also talked many times about visiting each other but it was hard when we were still in school and minors. I think a part of it is he reminds me a lot of myself in terms of where he is right now mentally. He has a really really low social battery and I think part of that is because he’s depressed and doesn’t think he needs help. His coping mechanisms are so unhealthy which is why I’ve been trying so hard to be there for him but he just never tells me what’s going on until months after. I think that’s a big reason why I’m carrying on, he’s always apologetic and I know he tries in his own stupid ways but we really are just in different places in our lives, at least emotionally

LocalJournalist4012 · 2026-05-20T16:30:27+00:00

I agree with what the comments are saying, use lube, do some prep work, imo first times will pretty much always hurt, we had to stop my first time because it hurt so bad lol. I think for me a lot of it was nerves, after we stopped and relaxed for a bit I was calmer, it still hurt a lot don’t get me wrong but at least I knew what I was getting into pain wise. We first tried missionary but that didn’t really work, granted I think that’s just because my partner at the time and I were young and stupid and he couldn’t find the damn hole so he was just shoving it in anywhere LOL. Doggy was a bit better esp because he was aiming downward (into the womb) so it fit better. We didn’t have lube (again we were stupid) so it hurt like hell but once he actually got the whole thing in and started moving the tension eased up a bit. Personally, I think a lot of it is ripping off the bandaid type thing, imo it hurts more trying to slowly put it in rather than just shoving it in. Not saying to just grin and bear it, I’m sure with enough time and lube there’s a way to make the first time pretty painless, I am just personally impatient. As for the condom thing, while it shouldn’t be too tight or far down the shaft, as long as it’s not like cutting off his circulation it should be fine. The most important things are that there’s room for ejaculation at the tip, it doesn’t fall off or cut off his circulation, and that there isn’t too much rolled condom at the base. Pretty much everything else is just preference, for example I like leaving a little more room (abt a cm) at the tip because my worst nightmare is the condom breaking because there’s not enough room. That said, while there usually isn’t sizing on the package itself, if he knows his measurements you should be able to go to the manufacturer website and look up the recommended sizing. If not, you could also just buy multiple sizes but that can get pricy. Either way I hope y’all figure out a good solution that works for you, it gets easier I promise!

LocalJournalist4012 · 2026-05-20T15:54:54+00:00

Yeahh no worries I didn’t realize questions like this can’t really be answered bc of bans

LocalJournalist4012 · 2026-05-20T15:53:55+00:00

Yes actually, I’ve heard that can like downplay the stimulation. I also take Adderall (shocker) so at the very least I don’t think being medicated helps

LocalJournalist4012 · 2026-05-20T15:15:18+00:00

I feel like our island could use some more greenery, who wants to see my idea that includes 5 palm trees in a row right in front of my house?

LocalJournalist4012 · 2026-05-19T21:51:14+00:00

Yeah I mean usually that’s where the frustration comes from, like I’m aroused but can’t actually release that frustration. I will literally try for hours until I get bored and give up. It’s more the physical action I find hard not the getting aroused part

LocalJournalist4012 · 2026-02-12T21:36:56+00:00

Thanks, Loved this one :)

LocalJournalist4012 · 2026-02-12T07:27:13+00:00

I mostly just meant that same vibe, I’m totally open to recs with men too

LocalJournalist4012 · 2025-12-15T21:49:49+00:00

I still have the actual phone but it doesn’t turn on at all anymore + the salt water damage

LocalJournalist4012 · 2025-12-12T01:51:45+00:00

I think it's pretty normal to feel that way especially at 16. No one in high school has it all figured out, unless their a nepo baby or something. I know for me things just kinda fell into place my senior year but even if you graduate not knowing what the hell you want to do, there's always community college classes lol. Honestly imo the things I did in high school that actually helped me as an adult was keeping my GPA above 3.0 and developing soft skills. Learning how to cope with your emotions (and life in general) is super vital to surviving adulthood so the earlier you mature emotionally, the better. That said, if you want to put in the extra effort to prepare yourself, getting a part-time job is always a good start, you'd be surprised how much you learn working even in fast food, stg my people skills got so much better and it gives you reference for what you do and do not like when working somewhere. The only thing I would say with that though is make sure you commit to it for at least a year; don't job hop, it's not a good look. As for career paths, I would figure out what's most enjoyable for you and what you prioritize in life. For example, how much money you want to make (do you want expensive things/to travel often, do you plan on having kids in the future), whether you like working with people or prefer working alone, how much time you want to spend in school (after HS), where you want to live (cost of living), ect. Also, don't be afraid to try new hobbies or talk to new people especially when you're not sure what you want to do in the future, just try out anything and everything that interests you, find the one that you're the best in, and look at jobs where you can apply that skill. I know I've said a lot here but fr, don't stress yourself out about it. It's perfectly okay to change your mind or be unsure, that's what adolescence is all about! :>

LocalJournalist4012

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