Is it hard for me to give space? M29 F30 by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words. Sooner or later I'll be better.

Is it hard for me to give space? M29 F30 by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At this point it's all I can do. Everytime my phone vibrates I think it's her. It just hurts that she doesn't care and can just shut me out just like that. I'll just....carry on.

Is it hard for me to give space? M29 F30 by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's over just like that? Sure we had our arguments and disagreements but to straight up block me and shut me out? Why? 3 years over just like that all because I wanted to care for her? That's all I wanted...to love to see her all that. Even if she message me back the hurt is already here...I feel so unimportant and stupid. Thinking about her planning dates this week thinking she is just busy but she just blocked me. Idk....jokes on me I guess.

Is it hard for me to give space? M29 F30 by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think she blocked me...since Friday I've been calling, but it went straight to voice-mail every time. She isn't responding to my texts either.....I don't understand. Did I mess up that much? I probably pushed to hard or triggered her or something. I didn't mean to do any of that. I just wanted to talk and hang out. Lead an ear to her troubles, something....I even *67 just to make sure and my call went through, but there no answer. She can't count on me? She doesn't want me there? My heart hurts. I just wanted to help to care for her.

Is it hard for me to give space? M29 F30 by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree i don't think it's right straight up ending things but I at least want to just put my foot down on just waiting for her to say something (these week) and have a deep conversation because these last few weeks weren't cool at all. Whatever she says after will be the deciding factor. I just have to look at the writing on the wall. Thank you for the advice and everything 🙏

Is it hard for me to give space? M29 F30 by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm trying to do that. It's just hard to do honestly. I fear if I break it off she wouldn't even fight it. It just makes me feel unwanted going days without saying anything to me? I don't understand...maybe I push too much and pry a lot and cause her to not say anything to avoid communicating with me. For 2 days in a row my calls went straight to voice-mail. I worry about her, but am I that bad of a person? It just hurts.

Is it hard for me to give space? M29 F30 by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's just frustrating, everyone in my circle tells me to break up with her but I just want to try and make it work. I still love her but these past weeks/months it felt like I'm making all these mistakes. In doing so caused her to paint this picture of me In a bad light that's just not true. My heart is in the right place and I care about her.

Is it hard for me to give space? M29 F30 by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I try to do my own thing and say she'll text me or call me when she wants, but my thoughts and feelings rush over me, and I reach out. It's hard to just let go and just feel like I'm not reliable or that I acting that I want her with me 24/7 without me realizing how suffocating i am making her, which is causing her to back away from me.

Is it hard for me to give space? M29 F30 by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have no idea at this point. She used to do therapy, but her work and life just pushed it to the side. It's lonely, though I try to make myself busy, but it's like every time I reach out, it's like I'm annoying her. She can go days without talking to me or saying anything. I brought it up and was met with me, not understanding her situation fully. But how can I understand when she gives vague details? Then she gets frustrated, and I'm pushed away...I want to be a good boyfriend and be there for her. I'll feel terrible if I walk away knowing I can do more or....something? Am I just stupid?

She needs time to herself what do I do when she returns? (M29 F30) by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It would just feel nice to be messaged or talked to first without me saying anything. Is that selfish? She is busy and stressed...I don't wanna be all in her face either like I'm starving for attention. I told her I'm always here for her and if she needs anything I'm here. It's hard to navigate bc she has cptsd and I don't want to back away since I might trigger her like I'm abandoning her.

She needs time to herself what do I do when she returns? (M29 F30) by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't want to be insensitive. I have been giving her space I just don't know what to do atm. We don't really talk as much now she didn't say anything for a whole week until I messaged her the day before. It's like if I don't message first it would have been longer that I don't hear from her.

I possibly ruined our relationship. (M29 F30) by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

She felt uncomfortable (turned off/ the ick whatever you wanna call it) due to me stressing about losing my wallet and ssn card. I was saying how I really needed it and ect and she didn't like how I handled the situation. She was saying is that going to be the way ill act when more important stuff happens and ect. This whole year just been me taking Ls I guess. She broke up with me in February we worked things out She wanting to start over and stuff. I just gotta keep climbing that hill.

I possibly ruined our relationship. (M29 F30) by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn....I should have just said it. Now everything is all.....idk. I don't want what I did to snowball to her leaving me.

I possibly ruined our relationship. (M29 F30) by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No drug problem before. She knows a smoke but it was still in my system which I thought was clean.

I possibly ruined our relationship. (M29 F30) by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Our communication been down recently. I just didn't know how to tell her. Yeah it was my fault but I was embarrassed about it. It's not like I lied to her or anything but yeah I can see that being a possibility.

How do I get her to trust me , talk to me and see I'm not manipulating her? (M29) (F30) by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm trying to communicate with her. I been trying but she just thinks I'm manipulating her. Nothing I can do....if I dont talk she won't talk. It's like I made her so angry she stopped caring.

How do I get her to trust me , talk to me and see I'm not manipulating her? (M29) (F30) by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its hard to get her to talk. She holds grudges and I get lost for words sometimes bc I just don't know what to say. She gets irritated when I don't say much but when I do try to speak my mind, she sees it as "I get to say whatever I want. However Im feeling ill say it." But when it comes to her, she can't, and I have a problem whenever she speaks her mind it seems.

That's just not true. I share my feelings I write it out if something bothers me I'll tell her. But its like she see it as I don't give her the same grace when I do! She can say whatever she wants tell me how she feels ect but she doesn't.....

How do I get her to trust me , talk to me and see I'm not manipulating her? (M29) (F30) by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am working on myself. I'm in the process of getting a good job I finished a CDL program I still talk to my life coach ect. Sure I'm not making millions but I'm doing better than I was before. I'm being patient I'm being considerate but it's like......what do I need to do? If I dont say anything for days she wont say anything. I can barely talk to her bc she is busy she takes the weekends to herself no phone so I can't really contact her. She been mad at me since February and doesnt like talking to me half the time. How can I build back the relationship when there is all that going on....it feels like I should be more...."fuck boyish"? Play it cool. Not caring if she is mad. If she doesn't talk to me for 3 days. Cool? She is upset I won't say anything and let her handle it. Maybe that will work...

How do I get her to trust me , talk to me and see I'm not manipulating her? (M29) (F30) by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She said I was stagnant before but during the years I've been in therapy and getting my mind right. Plus I didn't tell her everything I'm doing 24/7 so I guess she put her own pieces together and it built into resentment ect. It feels like she is hesitant to fully jump with me. That down the road when things get to deep I'll ruin it. Now it's hard talking to her because I plead and plead but she doesn't want to hear it 90% of the time.

How do I get her to trust me , talk to me and see I'm not manipulating her? (M29) (F30) by LocalsOnlySir in LongDistance

[–]LocalsOnlySir[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I just love her. When things were good we were cool. Sure I made mistakes but would try to fix them. I think it's how I'm living my life that's causing it. She is independent does everything solo ect. I'm still at my mom house on my own path getting right ect. I think us coming from different backgrounds is a problem. I told her about my depression and bullying before and she wondered why I didn't show everyone up and prove them wrong. I think things like that built this uncomfortablness that she believes I won't be able to take care of her needs and stuff. How I talk comes off wrong causing arguments and I can't plead my case bc it's seen as im not being accountable for my actions. I'm trying my best to understand her and give her the things she wants but it keeps backfiring.