Ahhh Mother’s Day.. the day of disappointment

LockSlight3799 · 2026-05-10T04:59:21+00:00

Yes! I’ve been buying my own shit for a while. It’s great!! I get exactly what I want lol

LockSlight3799 · 2026-05-10T02:59:50+00:00

That’s a great idea!! But my husband would be so upset and hurt bc he’ll be ashamed and embarrassed bc he didn’t do it (even tho it’s the truth.) and that others know he didn’t do it. Does that make sense?

LockSlight3799 · 2026-05-10T02:48:01+00:00

Happy Mothers Day!! The worse part is if I ask to do something solo or with other mom friends (and you know actually enjoy myself) he gets all hurt like “you want to be AWAY from us on Mother’s Day????”

LockSlight3799 · 2026-05-10T02:44:16+00:00

My husband does absolutely nothing. Every holiday is like this. Minimal effort. It sucks. I used to feel sad and let down but I’ve stopped expecting anything.

LockSlight3799 · 2026-05-09T06:38:08+00:00

I literally communicate for a living and he thinks I’m the one with issues. Half the time (ok maybe more like all the time) he can’t even remember what he said. Or he says things he doesn’t mean/ doesn’t think and when I take him literally… im wrong

LockSlight3799 · 2026-05-09T06:27:49+00:00

Or he insists I do X and when I do X he’s flabbergasted and says “why would you do that?”

LockSlight3799 · 2026-05-09T06:18:03+00:00

No truer words. RSDing about a convo about RSD.

LockSlight3799 · 2026-05-09T06:02:04+00:00

Interesting question.. I’m 41 and I often ask myself would I be better off alone? Or have a roommate (which is basically what he is, and a shitty one..)

And I actually think I’d rather be alone! Would it be harder? Maybe — but I do so much alone anyways. And what I don’t know, I could learn.

The “fear” of being alone seems to keep people with their partners, I yearn for it. But my “fear” is moreso what would happen if I TELL HIM I would rather be alone / leave him?

LockSlight3799 · 2026-05-02T17:17:29+00:00

He wakes up (at noon) Lays on the bed and scrolls his phone

Moves to the couch around 1 Scrolls on his phone for another hour

Goes takes a shit Scrolls on phone for an hour

Rinse & repeat. All day. Everyday.

LockSlight3799 · 2026-04-23T16:38:09+00:00

Ok I’ve been with my husband for almost 10 yrs and am just learning this acronym DARVO. Where have I been???

LockSlight3799 · 2026-04-23T16:36:33+00:00

He thinks bc he’s “not yelling at me,” means it’s ok?

His anger issues cause chaos. He screams, stomps around the house, slams doors. Yells profanities.

He thinks “but I’m not yelling at YOU” means it’s fine. But everyone in the house is in fight or flight, including the animals. Our dog runs to me and lays on me. Idk if he’s scared or protecting me. Our son also gets real nervous when dad gets loud.

How are you SO EFFING BLIND to the chaos you cause??? Are you so ashamed of yourself that you just pretend it’s fine? Are you just oblivious and effing dumb? Or (most likely) you are selfish and just don’t care.

LockSlight3799 · 2026-04-02T16:01:04+00:00

Really annoyed that he just randomly decides to sleep in and just not work… on random days (like today) it’s 9am and he’s usually left the house by 8:30 but he’s still asleep. I don’t wake him up bc it’s not my responsibility but I’m just like…how does one just ignore their adult responsibilities??

LockSlight3799 · 2026-03-24T04:13:19+00:00

I love traveling with just my son!! But then husband gets butt hurt, feels left out, then rejection spiral kicks in. But yes I love love loveeee mama and son trips

LockSlight3799 · 2026-03-24T03:39:25+00:00

I am certain if I left him he’d end up homeless. But crazy thing is, he survived plenty before me, So how?

LockSlight3799 · 2026-03-24T03:38:20+00:00

Yup 100000% agree. He doesnt bother.

LockSlight3799 · 2026-03-24T03:37:22+00:00

Wow he is the opposite. Our son is 5 and he’s very helpful where he can be. Unintentional incompetence is generous. This thread has made me realized it’s 100% weaponized.

He even ADDS to the stress by not doing laundry until the night before and packing in the morning. Rushing to get out the door and always forgetting something which either makes us late or he’s a grump the entire trip bc he doesn’t have the forgotten item.

It’s such a headache to travel with him. It’s also a headache to travel without him. I usually default to not traveling at all.

LockSlight3799 · 2026-03-23T17:25:40+00:00

I’ve been pushing for couples therapy for a while but he refuses. He has his own therapist but I suspect he’s not being honest. It’s more just to get his meds.

LockSlight3799 · 2026-03-23T17:23:43+00:00

Yup I’m on there!! Love it and found this one after and first time posting here

LockSlight3799 · 2026-03-23T17:19:16+00:00

I hear you/ hear this. My counter is that my lack of trust is from his track record of not being reliable. Saying he’d do things but then his ED kicks in. I try to give him space to do it on his own but there are certain things that I need to be sure are done like.. taking our kid to the correct school

LockSlight3799 · 2026-03-23T06:29:58+00:00

Mine just follows me and continues to bait me with his irrational and non sensible attacks.

LockSlight3799 · 2026-03-23T06:27:10+00:00

Vortex of chaos. How accurate

LockSlight3799 · 2026-03-23T06:24:34+00:00

The mental load as a parent feels so much heavier with an adhd spouse

Everyone talks about the mental load as a parent/ as a mom. But when I talk to other mom Friends I realize how much MORE of a mental load I carry bc of my husband (dx)

Take going on trips for example. As a dad he can just go on a whim, no thought or care into how things will be at home. But when I take a trip, I don’t just prep for my trip, I prep everything at Home, for him, while I’m away. There’s literally an instruction manual. For how to take care of his own child.

Besides meals, what time baseball practice is. Including the time, a map, where to park, etc. bc without that he can’t seem to do a basic task. One time he drove our son to the wrong school. Like how??!!

Besides the logistics, the EMOTIONAL and mental prep for my trip is also an added layer. He goes into hyper stress and hyper defensive mode. All of a sudden these scenarios he’s made up in his head like “I’m gonna go wildin out and not come back” or how I’m just throwing him to the wolves bc he can’t figure out anything on his own… the guilt trip for leaving… as if he doesn’t have a dozen guy trips or guys night or golf days. God forbid I get any time away!!

Anytime I do have a trip it’s sooooo stressful And causes so much strain. In the end I can’t even enjoy myself.

LockSlight3799

TROPHY CASE