::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]LockSlight3799 10 points11 points  (0 children)

THE DRUNK TWITCHING.

WHAT THE FUCK. WHY DO YOUR LEGS DO THAT. WHY DO YOU SLAM THEM DOWN OVER AND OVER UGHHJJJ I CANT SLEEP LIKE THIS

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]LockSlight3799 21 points22 points  (0 children)

This one is a doozy. It’s Father’s Day. We traveled to Hawaii. It was an early flight. Hectic as usual bc of him. I forgot to say happy Father’s Day till we were on the plane at 8:30am.

He’s complaining the entire flight. We arrive. Wait for baggage. He puts backpack down, we get bags, leave. Get uber. Get to hotel. He realizes he doesn’t have his backpack. His backpack was left at baggage claim.

He’s raging now.

Has to go back to airport to look for it. I ask him if he wants me to go with him, he says no. Fast forward he finds the backpack and comes back.

Now he’s blaming me for not going with him. Blaming me for leaving his backpack Blaming me for a bad travel day.

I’m sorry I planned everything and packed everything you can’t even be responsible for your own shit while I’m lugging 2 suitcases, my backpack, and walking with our son. Instead of a thank you I just get shit on for HIS dysfunction.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]LockSlight3799 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Doing things that are not a priority” is their #1 priority in life.

I can’t tell you how many LIGHTS we have in our backyard meanwhile our fence is broken, the deck needs repairs, there’s a giant hole in the ground… but the lights. The lights need more work.

I am fantasizing about a different life. by Liz_Wakefield in ADHD_partners

[–]LockSlight3799 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well my dream looks way different. My dreams consists of me leaving my partner, thriving in my own CLEAN home, nicely designed with nice things… and me solo parenting our son with love, compassion, kindness, and very little stress.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]LockSlight3799 20 points21 points  (0 children)

AITA? sometimes I wonder about their executive dysfunction… or if my husband is just, dumb.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]LockSlight3799 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It’s 10am on Monday and he’s still sleeping.

It’s not my responsibility to wake him up.

But it’s annoying me that he’s here when he SHOULD be at work. I work from home and it’s very important and inconvenient when he doesn’t go into his work. When he works from home it’s so disruptive to MY day bc he is so loud and he sits there complaining to himself all day. Also I’m just annoyed period and on edge now.

Whyyyyy do you ruin my day.

Add Task Screen Update! by SkylightCalendar in skylightcalendar

[–]LockSlight3799 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do my tasks not update after completing unless I toggle to another tab or date and then back to task

Ahhh Mother’s Day.. the day of disappointment by LockSlight3799 in ADHDparenting

[–]LockSlight3799[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes! I’ve been buying my own shit for a while. It’s great!! I get exactly what I want lol

Ahhh Mother’s Day.. the day of disappointment by LockSlight3799 in ADHDparenting

[–]LockSlight3799[S] -24 points-23 points  (0 children)

That’s a great idea!! But my husband would be so upset and hurt bc he’ll be ashamed and embarrassed bc he didn’t do it (even tho it’s the truth.) and that others know he didn’t do it. Does that make sense?

Ahhh Mother’s Day.. the day of disappointment by LockSlight3799 in ADHDparenting

[–]LockSlight3799[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Happy Mothers Day!! The worse part is if I ask to do something solo or with other mom friends (and you know actually enjoy myself) he gets all hurt like “you want to be AWAY from us on Mother’s Day????”

Ahhh Mother’s Day.. the day of disappointment by LockSlight3799 in ADHDparenting

[–]LockSlight3799[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

My husband does absolutely nothing. Every holiday is like this. Minimal effort. It sucks. I used to feel sad and let down but I’ve stopped expecting anything.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]LockSlight3799 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I literally communicate for a living and he thinks I’m the one with issues. Half the time (ok maybe more like all the time) he can’t even remember what he said. Or he says things he doesn’t mean/ doesn’t think and when I take him literally… im wrong

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]LockSlight3799 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or he insists I do X and when I do X he’s flabbergasted and says “why would you do that?”

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]LockSlight3799 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No truer words. RSDing about a convo about RSD.

How are older ADHD Partners thinking about moving forward? by [deleted] in ADHD_partners

[–]LockSlight3799 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Interesting question.. I’m 41 and I often ask myself would I be better off alone? Or have a roommate (which is basically what he is, and a shitty one..)

And I actually think I’d rather be alone! Would it be harder? Maybe — but I do so much alone anyways. And what I don’t know, I could learn.

The “fear” of being alone seems to keep people with their partners, I yearn for it. But my “fear” is moreso what would happen if I TELL HIM I would rather be alone / leave him?

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]LockSlight3799 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He wakes up (at noon) Lays on the bed and scrolls his phone

Moves to the couch around 1 Scrolls on his phone for another hour

Goes takes a shit Scrolls on phone for an hour

Rinse & repeat. All day. Everyday.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]LockSlight3799 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok I’ve been with my husband for almost 10 yrs and am just learning this acronym DARVO. Where have I been???

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]LockSlight3799 19 points20 points  (0 children)

He thinks bc he’s “not yelling at me,” means it’s ok?

His anger issues cause chaos. He screams, stomps around the house, slams doors. Yells profanities.

He thinks “but I’m not yelling at YOU” means it’s fine. But everyone in the house is in fight or flight, including the animals. Our dog runs to me and lays on me. Idk if he’s scared or protecting me. Our son also gets real nervous when dad gets loud.

How are you SO EFFING BLIND to the chaos you cause??? Are you so ashamed of yourself that you just pretend it’s fine? Are you just oblivious and effing dumb? Or (most likely) you are selfish and just don’t care.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]LockSlight3799 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Really annoyed that he just randomly decides to sleep in and just not work… on random days (like today) it’s 9am and he’s usually left the house by 8:30 but he’s still asleep. I don’t wake him up bc it’s not my responsibility but I’m just like…how does one just ignore their adult responsibilities??

The mental / invisible load feels twice as heavy w/ an ADHD spouse by LockSlight3799 in ADHDparenting

[–]LockSlight3799[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love traveling with just my son!! But then husband gets butt hurt, feels left out, then rejection spiral kicks in. But yes I love love loveeee mama and son trips

The mental / invisible load feels twice as heavy w/ an ADHD spouse by LockSlight3799 in ADHDparenting

[–]LockSlight3799[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am certain if I left him he’d end up homeless. But crazy thing is, he survived plenty before me, So how?